Entanglements

 Hello, Wonderfully made! I hope we are staying safe and healthy.

From the topic, some of us may already guess what this is about. But just in case you don’t, I will brief you.

Jada Smith suggested that she got “entangled” with another man while she was on a marriage hiatus.

She said this to her husband on her show, where it’s just two people at a table. This time it was her husband and her.

Very interesting.

I don’t like to talk about people especially when they have done what’s wrong — in my view.

However, I want to address the issues surrounding this saga and there are many angles to this story.

In this post, I want to talk about the other man. 

It seems it was the other man who first mentioned the entanglement.

He talked about how it affected him and it turns out he’s releasing a song titled “Entanglement”.

I think he feels rejected. Or dumped. And perhaps used. Whichever it was, I’m sure it doesn’t feel good.

I have yet to watch the interview, August (one of his names) gave. The little I have heard especially from Jada, turned my stomach. As I type this I feel slightly nauseous.

I think he should have expected this though, but for reasons, best known to him and Jada, he’s traumatised by the entanglement. Coupled with the fact that he was going through some issues that may need a psychologist to fix. Apparently, he and she chose to handle it in-house since rumour has it he’s somewhat a family friend. They got closer and the rest is still unfolding.

Again I believe part of what ails the man is The sting of rejection. 

Apparently, he assumed they would become a couple. That, or he later realised he had become too emotionally attached to her and whatever did happen between them, that he is now suffering withdrawal syndrome or is it symptoms?

Either or, he’s so pained or miffed about it, that could no longer keep it to himself: that something happened between him and a married woman during her marital break time. 

To all and sundry, let’s take these lessons:

• Do not get entangled — at all. If you do, you will feel trapped. Actually, you will be trapped. So if you cherish your freedom, anything that isn’t clear and concise, just steer clear. 
• Steer clear of a romantic interest who is married! Really, you can’t win. Rather, it will do you in. You will be sucked into all their issues that extends to their children and spouse. Besides, karma is not extinct. Do to others what you want to be done to you and this warning wouldn’t be necessary. 
• Respect other people’s feelings and relationships. I’m talking of those “they” are in relationships with or married to and the children.
• Respect yourself. If you have a proper value structure. There are troubles that you skip by because you refuse to demean yourself in any way.
• Seek help in the appropriate places from trained professionals. It is way too easy to become infatuated to the person who is trying to help you. And next thing you know, you have built a castle or city in the sky featuring that person as your partner. By the time you realise they either see you as a sibling or their child, you are already emotionally entangled, if not mentally also. A professional knows how to assist you, without leaving you worse than they met you. 
• Maintain emotional distance. You don’t want to get entangled? Don’t get emotionally involved. This pandemic has reinforced some traditions that kept people from starting something they should not have began, to start with. There are cultures that had what I will call gender segregation. Women had their quarters, so did men. They only mixed in supervised circumstances. Even at social gatherings, women sat on one side while men sat at the other. In such arrangements, temptations are minimal with little or no opportunity to yield. Keep physical and emotional distance from the opposite gender, that isn’t in your nuclear family.

The ripple effect of this entanglement saga is far-reaching. Like an octopus with many tentacles.

I will be back to post my perspective on the other angles.

Stay safe, stay healthy in your body, soul and spirit.

Shalom!

https://puttingmyfeetinthedirt.com/2020/07/01/july-writing-prompts-2/ 2. City in the Sky, 5. The Sting of Rejection

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Are we Humane Beings?

I was on youtube watching “Conversations with America”. Bishop T.D. Jakes was the host featuring a group of senior police officers, retired police officers and a psychologist who works with the army on mental health.

The topic was Police Brutality. And the Bishop was asking a lot of questions to understand why it happens and what causes it.

One of the officers said they are not always taught to be human, but to just get the job done.

And the psychologist said, “If you need to be taught to be human, you shouldn’t be hired at all.”

Someone in the comment section highlighted that statement and this response just hit me. I just kept writing. Here it is:

Unfortunately, we all have to “become” human beings. Remember the story of the “Good Samaritan”? All those who ought to know better walked past the wounded man. How many times have we as individuals “walked past”?

There are people who wouldn’t have joined the protest if they still had to go to work or identify with some “fraternity”. But priorities have narrowed down to food, shelter, health and security. Fear of “it could have been me” got many to rush out realising what they have probably been ignoring or not paying adequate attention to and not taking practical steps, toward a society of equity.

That’s why being born again prevails over just being okay, with being a “good person”. 

It takes courage and a certain level of God’s anointing to do the right thing, ALWAYS. Especially, when it’s “dangerous”, inconvenient, or when we’re at risk of losing something of value.

Becoming humane is a journey we all need to take with love for the service of God and humanity.

What do you think?

Courage!

I once…no, twice wrote, about courage. I mentioned that courage in some aspects may not, and usually does not translate to courage in all aspects.

I know how that feels. I have never in public spoken against any injustice that has translated to violence from the unjust. I suppose that’s what they are doing: Psychological warfare. If they can use a few as an example of how cruel and brutal they are, then people will shut up out of fear of being next.

Unfortunately, there will always be a next, as long as people are too trapped in fear to speak against injustices, violence, assaults, and all that is attached to it.

I say:

By the authority God has given me in Christ;

I am against any kind of assault on women and children.

I am against lack of equity for all.

I am against racism — wherever it may come from.

I am against rape. Be it sexual, economical, or cultural.

I stand with truth, justice, equity, fairness, respect, morality, and security for all.

“God is my refuge and strength… therefore will I not fear…” Psalm 46

Let righteousness reign in every part of the world, in Jesus Christ name. Amen!

https://wp.me/p1mHRD-cNi

Men Why?

It’s so sad and disappointing when men refuse to lead. I said “men” because unfortunately every race faces the same men-not-holding-up-the-women, in different forms.

That’s why we have feminism gone dangerous, because women are built to be protected. It’s makes us stronger to also defend where necessary.

Men know that women’s defence is feared and respected. We are instinctively mothers, and you don’t mess with a woman’s sons. 

But we need men to instinctively be our fathers as we have shown them motherly love.

Yet here we are, emotionally bankrupt and mentally/spiritually exhausted, because we keep giving but not receiving.

What makes it worse is the women against women problem that we have.

Men aren’t supporting women, women aren’t supporting women (enough), leaving us with a major crisis.

Women seem to find it easier to support men than women. Ironic isn’t it?

Take Mo’Nique for instance. If a black man went through the same thing as her, he would have massive support — from women, no questions asked.

But with Mo’Nique? Oh no. We needed to examine her character, her worth, her motive BEFORE we can support her.

Women will analyse one another to death. 

Why do we think men are more worthy of our unconditional support, but women must be of a certain behaviour and status for her to get her own gender’s attention?

If you don’t get anything from what I have written so far, get this: *Give to your gender the unconditional support and grace/mercy you give men*.

Let’s stop hating ourselves. If you love yourself as a woman, you will be nurturing and gracious towards other women.

God is Love. Seek God first and all your needs will be met accordingly. 

Shalom.🎶🌴

Interdependence

There’s an African proverb that says, “A lone 🌲 tree cannot make a forest.”

This talks about a unity of purpose, to make things happen.

It’s often said, that no one is an island. We are not created to stand alone in everything. We’re made to collaborate, to form relationships.

Life is about collaboration. You can buy, only because someone is selling. You have shelter because someone was willing to build. You have a business because someone needs your services and is willing to patronise you. You have a job because someone needs your skills and is willing to hire you. You need others and others need you as well. It is co-dependence and inter-dependence. No one can truly do anything, all by themselves. We’re not just built that way.

Life is meant to be shared, and there’s love in sharing.

Does that mean we should hitch our wagon to just anyone’s?

No, of course not.

But we should not make the mistake of going the high road of not needing anybody. We can choose who to associate with. We simply have to choose wisely. We need to choose people who can help us grow and who we can help grow. That’s how a forest works.

Choosing the wrong company or choosing to remain in wrong company is like, trying to grow under a huge tree. The huge tree might seem like a shield from the harsh realities of life, but in the real sense, its preventing the trees under it from getting adequate nutrition directly from the elements, for proper growth. Neither will they have deep roots, because the roots of the huge tree will not only absorb most of the earth’s nutrients, but it will not give space for any tree under it or it’s immediate environs to take root.

Have you ever seen a tree growing under a huge tree, become as big as that tree? Trees growing under huge trees are limited to living in the shadows of the huge tree.

There’s a time to “get thee out from among them”, so that you can grow to your highest potential. But you still need thr right people to make that happen.

However, don’t let the absence of help or assistance stop you from venturing out on your own. It only takes one step of faith at a time. It is well.

Shalom. 🌎

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/forest/