Christian Musings, Jehovah, Life, Poem, Purpose and life's mission, Singles' issues

I Wish…I Hope…I Warn

I wish I’m that person you turn to for succour…after God

I wish I am that person you see, that light up your world …after God

I wish I’m that person that makes your heart glad___

I wish I’m that person__

_that is an out-of-this-world experience…

An aroma, essence like the Heavenly brew…

Because its a brew so Heavenly it exceeds your expectations…

You can only find me, if your Heavenly senses are sharpened…enlightened.

Without your Heavenly senses

You will wonder…

Like the woman at the well

Who had wondered from man to man

Seeking…

Seeking who to quench her thirst…

Knowing it was a man who had the key of wisdom🔑

To unlock the mystery of her need

Knowing not what man it was, she wondered still

Until she came to the 8th Man…

JESUS CHRIST

And she knew that her search was over…

For she was led to the spring from within

From whence cometh, water that quenches thirst forever…

She need not seek for nor fetch from wells…

That leave her wanting…

Do not wait too long

To find your own Heavenly brew…

Who knows?

It might be given to another…

More…worthy…than you

As it was with Vashti

Who was replaced by Esther…

Sharpen your Heavenly senses and hasten your search

That it might be said of you…

“The Heavenly brew exceeded his expectations.”

February 2022 Writing Prompts Week 1 (February 1-7) – The heavenly brew exceeded his expectations.
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Christian Musings, Life, Parenting Series, Purpose and life's mission, Singles' issues, Stories

Mama’s Advise

“Careful. Don’t catch feelings.” Iré cautioned her daughter.

Emira chuckled. “Feelings aren’t the virus, mama.”

“Don’t be absurd. You know darned well what I’m talking about.” Iré huffed.

Emira sighed.

“Remember, how important your faith is to you. That alone is a deal, marriage, and heart breaker. Unless he’s a Biblical Christian, what brought you together will not hold you together.”

Weekend Writing Prompt #203 – Absurd
Christian Musings, Life, Purpose and life's mission, Singles' issues, Stories

Emira and Friends

It was a video call with her friends on their TGIF girls’ date night.

“Where did you say, you’re again, Emira?”

“India.”

“What are you doing yonder?”

“Work related favour.”

“Any hot guys yet?”

Her deputy.

“Ye-ah. And nope, don’t wanna jaw ’bout it.”

Weekend Writing Prompt #202 – Yonder
Life, Parenting Series, Sanguine thoughts, Singles' issues, Stories

A (Minor?)Breach of Privacy

Dear Diary,

Should it make any marginal difference if I don’t have a New Year Resolution?

“Yes it should”, Crownie’s mother said indignantly over her daughter’s shoulder.

Crownie jumped and shrieked.

Weekend Writing Prompt #190 – Marginal
Christian Musings, Sanguine thoughts, Singles' issues

Beauty Within

Hello Everyone!

I was reading Isaiah 53 until I halted at verse 2. Now, that doesn’t seem long, but it was talking about the Messiah, in a way I had not read before.

Verse two, halted me to a point I had to write what came to mind.

“”For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he had no form nor comeliness and when we shall see him there is no beauty that we should desire him

What?! Are they implying that Jesus was not handsome?!

Not only that. That verse emphasised that he was not desirable to look upon either — beauty wise.

Then I smiled wryly.

Maybe that was why women were not beating down his door for marriage.

I imagined he must have been comfortable and safe for the women — after all if I read this verse right — Jesus wasn’t a hottie.

But he had a heart of gold; prepared to die for mankind to be saved, and then demonstrated the love, that a married couple should have for each other — how a husband should love his wife and how a wife should relate to her husband — though he was never married.

Then I thought of how women will not find a man attractive because he’s not that attractive. And how women could often miss out, on being with a good man, like Jesus who may not have been beautiful, comely, attractive.

I just wonder, “How many Jesus-like men do we have, that single women are missing out on?!”

This is a sore subject for a lot of women. They miss out on the right kind of man because they are looking for the right kind of look, rather than looking at the heart of the man — his ability and willingness to love, to cherish, guide, befriend and protect.

Most times we just befriend them and make ourselves the matchmaker; deciding who is good or not good enough for him, without thinking we could be that woman.

Why befriend a man you can’t marry?

Why befriend him? Especially if you know that he wants more than friendship with you?

I know you have to pray and ask for God’s direction, but make sure, that you are not throwing away something good because he does not look hot enough.

We usually can sense a good man when we see him. Make your choice! Do not play with a man’s feelings.

And don’t stand in the way.

Don’t be the gatekeeper standing in the way, to scrutinize any woman that might be the woman, you have refused to be, for him.

Be woman enough, to make your decision and stand with it — even if and when you have to stand alone.

Stay safe, stay healthy and SHALOM 🍋

Christian Musings, Life

Entanglements

 Hello, Wonderfully made! I hope we are staying safe and healthy.

From the topic, some of us may already guess what this is about. But just in case you don’t, I will brief you.

Jada Smith suggested that she got “entangled” with another man while she was on a marriage hiatus.

She said this to her husband on her show, where it’s just two people at a table. This time it was her husband and her.

Very interesting.

I don’t like to talk about people especially when they have done what’s wrong — in my view.

However, I want to address the issues surrounding this saga and there are many angles to this story.

In this post, I want to talk about the other man. 

It seems it was the other man who first mentioned the entanglement.

He talked about how it affected him and it turns out he’s releasing a song titled “Entanglement”.

I think he feels rejected. Or dumped. And perhaps used. Whichever it was, I’m sure it doesn’t feel good.

I have yet to watch the interview, August (one of his names) gave. The little I have heard especially from Jada, turned my stomach. As I type this I feel slightly nauseous.

I think he should have expected this though, but for reasons, best known to him and Jada, he’s traumatised by the entanglement. Coupled with the fact that he was going through some issues that may need a psychologist to fix. Apparently, he and she chose to handle it in-house since rumour has it he’s somewhat a family friend. They got closer and the rest is still unfolding.

Again I believe part of what ails the man is The sting of rejection. 

Apparently, he assumed they would become a couple. That, or he later realised he had become too emotionally attached to her and whatever did happen between them, that he is now suffering withdrawal syndrome or is it symptoms?

Either or, he’s so pained or miffed about it, that could no longer keep it to himself: that something happened between him and a married woman during her marital break time. 

To all and sundry, let’s take these lessons:

  • Do not get entangled — at all. If you do, you will feel trapped. Actually, you will be trapped. So if you cherish your freedom, anything that isn’t clear and concise, just steer clear. 
  • Steer clear of a romantic interest who is married! Really, you can’t win. Rather, it will do you in. You will be sucked into all their issues that extends to their children and spouse. Besides, karma is not extinct. Do to others what you want to be done to you and this warning wouldn’t be necessary. 
  • Respect other people’s feelings and relationships. I’m talking of those “they” are in relationships with or married to and the children.
  • Respect yourself. If you have a proper value structure. There are troubles that you skip by because you refuse to demean yourself in any way.
  • Seek help in the appropriate places from trained professionals. It is way too easy to become infatuated to the person who is trying to help you. And next thing you know, you have built a castle or city in the sky featuring that person as your partner. By the time you realise they either see you as a sibling or their child, you are already emotionally entangled, if not mentally also. A professional knows how to assist you, without leaving you worse than they met you. 
  • Maintain emotional distance. You don’t want to get entangled? Don’t get emotionally involved. This pandemic has reinforced some traditions that kept people from starting something they should not have began, to start with. There are cultures that had what I will call gender segregation. Women had their quarters, so did men. They only mixed in supervised circumstances. Even at social gatherings, women sat on one side while men sat at the other. In such arrangements, temptations are minimal with little or no opportunity to yield. Keep physical and emotional distance from the opposite gender, that isn’t in your nuclear family.

The ripple effect of this entanglement saga is far-reaching. Like an octopus with many tentacles.

I will be back to post my perspective on the other angles.

Stay safe, stay healthy in your body, soul and spirit.

Shalom!

https://puttingmyfeetinthedirt.com/2020/07/01/july-writing-prompts-2/ 2. City in the Sky, 5. The Sting of Rejection

Christian Musings, Life, Purpose and life's mission, Singles' issues

When You Find Yourself Alone…

What do you do when you find yourself alone? It’s no fun and I can tell you that for free (you can thank me later– or not *smiles*).

It’s not a big deal to be alone. It’s when you notice it, that it becomes an issue. 

It’s worse when you find yourself alone. Because then it’s sudden. It’s like one moment, you had company, next thing you know, you have no company. One moment you relished being alone, the next you wished you had company. And that wish lingers longer stirring in you a yearning you never thought you would feel since you gained your independence or whatever was your be-it-all. 

You find yourself, in a “place” were, being alone is fast becoming less appealing.

These could bring about despair and all sort of negative thoughts/feelings of unworthiness: as issues and insecurities you thought long dead, seems to come alive — in the pit of your stomach.

“What is wrong with me?” You may ask. Well, plenty. 

I’m sorry! But something is indeed wrong with you, for actually thinking something is wrong with you.

Usually, this awareness happens when we want to share a moment or day with someone and we find that those we have around us, are otherwise occupied, simply absent or not exclusive to us.

Often times it becomes awkward for us, when we are at weddings, family gatherings, friends hang out(or in), and we seem to be the one of the few unattached person in the mix…. No matter how non chalant you want to be, it will still be….awkward, because it’s hard to act indifferent with people who really know you. Before you know it, you find yourself avoiding events and gatherings with people who know you too well.

When loneliness hits the hardest or you are painfully aware you are alone, is when you get home and it’s no longer as warm and welcoming as it used to be. Instead of you feeling at home, you feel like you just walked into an empty shelter, that leaves you feeling emotionally discontent and vulnerably.

At that point, you know it’s your need for companionship that can no longer be ignored. 

However, finding a companion takes a lot of thoughtful resolutions and commitments. So while you work out the details to having a companion for keeps, there are few things to do that will help you prepare:

…you have much to give which is why you feel lonely…

  • Begin a humanitarian journey. Which of the societal ills or needs are you most passionate about?  That’s your niche. Find a reputable Foundation or NGO to assist and work with. There’s always an NGO for whatever you feel needs to change for the better.But if you can’t find one around, start one. However, reputable NGOs welcome enthusiastically, any one willing to volunteer. Trust me. 
  • Hobbies, New or Old

There’s something very therapeutic when you’re into any form of art or vocation.

Your creative side comes alive and sparks life into areas of your being that promotes wholesome and oneness.

Arts and vocation just has a way of putting you together. You feel found and alive. It encourages you to be purposeful. It promotes emotional stability, because you find that arts helps filter your emotions, sieving through your emotions soothingly as the negative is separated from the positive, as opposed to the jumbled  mess you where before emotionally.

It builds the desire to have a more organised and settled lifestyle, both internally and externally.

In the culture I was born into, we are encouraged to learn a trade, a craft, handiwork or vocation — no matter what we desire to have as a career.

The believe was one day you will retire and it’s the trade, craft or vocation you have learnt, that would sustain you when the job is over.

A career is seen as non replicable at a small scale, but a vocation can be practiced with little, or no capital.

Although, some school of thought will argue that, it’s best to pursue a career path you can start on your own, people aren’t really listening.

However the focus here is internal self help. You want to be settled and not feel achingly alone.

Join a reputable club for what you like. 

What did you enjoy doing as a child?

Do you still do them, and why?

It’s time to reconnect with your childhood. What were those hobbies that made childhood exciting and memorable? It might be the missing link in your life’s puzzle. Or a reaffirmation of something.

Wholeness:

Sometimes, being more vested in physical, material, career and social media even drains our spirit, leaving an emptiness behind.

Our spirit and soul is what feeds the physical. If you spend more time investing in physical things, you may soon end up bankrupt in other areas of your life.

Wholesness is important to living a healthy lifestyle. All round health is key to enjoying and experiencing life to the fullest.

Meditating on God’s word helps you more than thinking about the next big idea.

Spending quality time with God refills, refuels, renews and energises you to be better….

We will talk more on this some other time. Until then, work on being closer to God.

Shalom🌷🌴🌱

Singles' issues

Moment of Truth

As she stood at the shore listening to the roar of the sea, drowning the turmoil in her mind, she heard her friend approach.

“I’m sorry I kissed you.” he said quietly.

“Is it true that you are in love with me?”

“Yes”, he replied quietly, but firmly.

” Why?”

“I don’t know”

She sobbed.

via Weekend Writing Prompt #96 – Seashore

Christian Musings

Who Should Be a Parent: Demands of Parenting 

He-llo-o Beautiful People of this Global Village! 

Wherever you are from your part of the world, I want to encourage you to;

 make every minute of your day count, like a minute will cost you a quarter of your country’s annual budget. 

From that perspective I believe you know what to do.

On a spiritual note: 

Listening to the Holy Bible, while we do our work outs and chores, helps some of us who have a hard time sitting still long enough to spend quality time reading the scriptures. 

Health Reminder

Drink warm or room temperature water. Swallowing chilled anything congeals the blood.

On fashion:

As a woman, if you are have an athletic build or you have broad shoulders, wear plain and deep coloured tops, with vertical necklines. Then wear bright coloured  prints/patterns/florals as your skirt.

Beauty Tip:

Touch your face only when you want to clean your face or apply skin care. This is mostly for those of us who have break-outs.

I have been posting about millenial parenting recently, and apparently it’s a topic that might span several posts based on the fact that there are different angles to this issue

Parenting is serious business that has to be handled with firm but gentle hands. 

It can be confusing and mind boggling, because you need to have the right balance and flexibility. It’s like doing both extremes at the same time. For example, you can’t be either disciplined or gentle. You need to be both. One can’t be without the other. And to top that, you need to be too much of both, at the same time. 

It’s a message to your children, that you love them too much to let them be undisciplined. It’s like sweetening a bitter medicine they need to swallow so they can live. So they are more likely to take the medicine because it has been sweetened, rather than you having to resort to force feeding. 

Based on this illustration, discipline is needed to live to ones full potential, therefore it’s compulsory to be disciplined. The more disciplined one is, the better chances a person has to be more successful in life. 

It’s easier to live a disciplined life, when a person has been taught that from childhood. It becomes a habit and it stays a habit when the results are outstanding. 

However, the training to be disciplined is very rigorous that more often than not, it breaks the soul or hardens the heart of the trainee. They become distant emotionally. Because discipline demands you ignore your feelings and just get the job done. If that is done often enough, the trainee gets used to not feeling at all. 

In fact, they get to a point were they decide that being emotional is a sign of indiscipline. Lord help whoever marries them in that state. Their spouses who are emotionally active will have a hard time understanding why, someone can be so unfeeling and seem cold. Now, there won’t be a problem if two emotionally distant people marry each other. But, those are rare cases. Who knows? Maybe it’s their soul crying out for a release that attracted them to someone who is highly emotional — without them being aware of what’s going on.

And if their emotions are not awakened before their children come, the children might wonder why one parent is all hugs and kisses, while the other is distant and unfeeling. And then another negative  pattern is forming, because the children will take it personal. They would try to get the attention and please the unresponsive parent who doesn’t seem to love them. And most times they fail and they may turn to rebellion, to the heart break of the loving parent and the silent  disappointment of the distant parent. 

Hence, the call for intense discipline sweetened with lots of love. Love makes the difference on how they decide to apply that discipline. Love is life. 

The Bible says that, if we do all good works, but have no love, then we’ve done nothing. Love coupled with discipline makes great positive impact. Discipline without love makes life a mere routine of dull existence. Love without discipline is life without proper focus. Love helps us identify purpose, but discipline helps us see it through — reach our goal. 

As parents and aspiring parents, we need to understand that parenting is leadership. You lead your children to where/were they need to be. And what that means is, you are as a matter of fact, going to were/where you are leading. In other words, you are being followed, closely by your children, in all you do. 

Now if that scares you, then you need to change your ways. 

Reminds me of a resolution I made recently, concerning who I marry. 

I can understand the good-girl-lovingbad-boy syndrome among staunch Christian women. I mean I’m going through that phase at the moment. I find myself in my past-mid-20s having a crush — a crush for goodness sakes! — for a guy (and I used the word guy intentionally, for obvious reasons) who is at the other extreme of what I want, not to mention need, in a husband. 

So yeah, I understand too well how one can be attracted to ones opposite or the opposite of what one wants. 

But do I make a lifetime decision based on a crush? No! Absolutely not. And my head is shaking side to side in emphasis. 

Why? Some people may ask, can’t I follow my ‘heart’? Well, the heart can be deceptive and I don’t trust it.

I mean, how can I trust a heart that tells me to do the opposite of what I know is best for me?

If I look at a man or guy and I can’t imagine my unborn son dressing, walking, behaving like him, then he’s not to be considered — at all. 

And this is were a lot of women have missed it and unfortunately still missing it. 

They choose a guy who’s not interested in man-ing up. A guy who’s not ready to be settled, responsible. A guy who is not willing to be a husband and father. They chose him because he’s cute and he has a sexy voice. Ha! 

But of course, the smitten woman will not tell you that, because they know you will drag them to church for deliverance while pleading the blood of Jesus over their befuddled self. All they would say is, “He’s a nice guy and he’s got potential. He just needs someone to help him find his way to the Lord.” Ha

Well, I know all the cute, sexy, nice and potential alone, cannot give me the husband I need and the father my babies need. 

Let’s not forget that when we are shopping for a spouse, we are also shopping for a father/mother for our unborn children.

Enough said. 

So we need to watch were/where we go or are going. If your children can’t go somewhere, then you — yes you! — can not go there either. Children always have an inclination to be or do in multiples, what we are doing — even in private. Because children are wired to do or copy what you are doing whether they see you do it, or not.

So if you have planted a seed you don’t want to reap, you had better uproot it. Because whatever is planted comes back hundred fold. If that scares you, then change your ways.

My conclusion for this segment, is if you want loving and disciplined children, then you need to be loving and disciplined. Show them how, with your actions, then allow them to interpret your demonstrations in their own understanding. As long as they are not committing a crime or sin, it fine to be flexible.

I recall reading a post, or a quote by a well-known billionaire. He was reported to have said, he likes giving difficult jobs to lazy people, because they find easy ways to do the job. 

Understand that everyone is a unique person on their own. Therefore don’t force your children to do the right thing, your own way only. If you do, you will squash their creativity, their ability to think independently; sort through challenges without external influence and be confident enough to take decisions on their own. 

Love and discipline means nothing if you can’t teach children to stand alone with God. 

Till next time, stay rapturable. 

Shalom!🌍🏞

Christian Musings, Singles' issues, Uncategorized

Why Singles are Still “Single”. Part 3

Hi Everyone! How’s the mid-week treating you? Mid-week sometimes puts us in a sober reflection, especially if you have yet to accomplish what you wanted done for the week. Procrastination begins to lose steam at this point. It’s like been in August and you remember all you told yourself you were going to do for the year — which you haven’t done.

But don’t be discouraged, just start already! The week isn’t over until it’s over. You’re not alone. Some of us just have to battle through some issues before we get anything done. But the point is when we work at something good, we get it done, so let’s not give up now. We can do all things, through Christ who strengthens us or through Christ who is our strength; depending on what Bible version you are reading.

Okay! That been said, let get into the topic.

Based on my observation, I realized that ours is a very busy and ‘happening’ generation. There’s a lot to do, so much you can accomplish and achieve. We aren’t necessarily the generation of ‘contentment’. We ask ourselves, or rather say to ourselves, “I mean, why should I be content, when it’s within my reach to have more, achieve more?” So we get sucked into the spirit of ambition, and walk/work almost trance-like towards our goal. We fail to see other good, important aspects of life and living along the way; you know, aspects like marriage and family. Unless of course, if we think these will take us faster with ease, to where we are — more often than not — obsessed to get to. Which means a lot of people who are in a relationship or married, are there for the wrong reasons or on wrong, misguided impressions, as the case may be. This of course is no news. A lot of people have, from time memorial been getting married for the wrong reasons. The difference now, is that the wrong reasons differ from generation to generation, depending on the central theme/focus of each generation. And ours is, unfortunately not an exception. You will think by now, we would know it’s better, to learn from history. 

But perhaps that’s the problem. We believe we not only know better than previous generations, but we think we are better. So we find ourselves, repeating their mistakes or getting the same negative outcomes they had.

Marriage is no longer considered an achievement or success. If you are single and successful you are the man or a superwoman, according to the standard of today’s world, anyway. So more often than not, marriage is placed on the back burner. By the time some people deem themselves ready — if ever– to get married, they might not readily find someone on their level and they might grow desperate. Because most singles think of marriage when they are lonely and they need companionship. Once desperation sets in however, that’s the beginning of the end.

Most times, desperation sets in because, some of us have had opportunities to love and truly be loved, but we took those opportunities for granted, thinking true love and companionship can wait, there is a career to pursue. So with the I’m not ready excuse, we leave love behind. After success, the accolades, fame, and you begin to feel lonely; all those opportunities you had walked past,  start coming to mind. Especially if you are unfortunate to run into some of those opportunities you walked away from, having dinner, for intance, with their charming spouse and lovely children. It then dawns on you, that you have indeed goofed. And that might make you feel worse than you’re already feeling. At that point anyone who shows any romantic interest in you, is considered God sent, which is most likely not. Then, you might find yourself being a victim of parasitic people, who pretend interest in you just to get their hands on what you have.

It will then seem that what you spent all your life pursuing and eventually acquiring, is now bait or magnet for shallow people whose main occupation is to pretend they are/have, what you are now desperate to have: love and companionship. It would also seem like your success might be an obstacle to finding an honestly genuine person to spend your life with — which isn’t true, but in your desperation, you wouldn’t see that.

Bottom line, as far as I’m concerned, ambition — which requires a level of narrow mindedness — is a disease. Of course my mum disagrees with me. In her opinion, ambition is not a problem but over ambition. Hmph. I hear her. Have you noticed that it’s only the things with addictive qualities, that moves faster than light from mild to excessive? Well, I have noticed. And ambition is addictive. It’s an enemy of contentment, and people have been known to loose morals, decency or any virtue they had before embarking on the journey of ambition, during the journey.

It’s good to be successful and famous and celebrated. But we have to understand that they can’t keep us happy. Therefore, lets not loose focus of the important things of life. They are: God Who also happens to be True Love, righteousnes, true friendship and true companionship. They should never be taken for granted. God said to seek Him when He may be found. Which means there’s a time for everything. A time that something can be found, and that may not be in accordance with your personal timeline.

So I urge us, to key into the timeline of the opportunities that have lasting fulfilling value, when they are presented to you. And not when you want to have them, or think you should have them. Or when the world and other people think and decide, you should have them. Because by then, those opportunities might no longer be available. Second or multiple chances do not come to all, all the time. It called chance for a reason. Opportunities are sometimes like ideas. If you don’t work on an idea and patent it, someone else will! Opportunities, like ideas, cannot be monopolized, they must be utilized, immediately. Snoozing is loosing.

Till next time, stay blessed and focused on the right opportunities of lasting fulfilling value. Shalom.😇