Entanglements

 Hello, Wonderfully made! I hope we are staying safe and healthy.

From the topic, some of us may already guess what this is about. But just in case you don’t, I will brief you.

Jada Smith suggested that she got “entangled” with another man while she was on a marriage hiatus.

She said this to her husband on her show, where it’s just two people at a table. This time it was her husband and her.

Very interesting.

I don’t like to talk about people especially when they have done what’s wrong — in my view.

However, I want to address the issues surrounding this saga and there are many angles to this story.

In this post, I want to talk about the other man. 

It seems it was the other man who first mentioned the entanglement.

He talked about how it affected him and it turns out he’s releasing a song titled “Entanglement”.

I think he feels rejected. Or dumped. And perhaps used. Whichever it was, I’m sure it doesn’t feel good.

I have yet to watch the interview, August (one of his names) gave. The little I have heard especially from Jada, turned my stomach. As I type this I feel slightly nauseous.

I think he should have expected this though, but for reasons, best known to him and Jada, he’s traumatised by the entanglement. Coupled with the fact that he was going through some issues that may need a psychologist to fix. Apparently, he and she chose to handle it in-house since rumour has it he’s somewhat a family friend. They got closer and the rest is still unfolding.

Again I believe part of what ails the man is The sting of rejection. 

Apparently, he assumed they would become a couple. That, or he later realised he had become too emotionally attached to her and whatever did happen between them, that he is now suffering withdrawal syndrome or is it symptoms?

Either or, he’s so pained or miffed about it, that could no longer keep it to himself: that something happened between him and a married woman during her marital break time. 

To all and sundry, let’s take these lessons:

• Do not get entangled — at all. If you do, you will feel trapped. Actually, you will be trapped. So if you cherish your freedom, anything that isn’t clear and concise, just steer clear. 
• Steer clear of a romantic interest who is married! Really, you can’t win. Rather, it will do you in. You will be sucked into all their issues that extends to their children and spouse. Besides, karma is not extinct. Do to others what you want to be done to you and this warning wouldn’t be necessary. 
• Respect other people’s feelings and relationships. I’m talking of those “they” are in relationships with or married to and the children.
• Respect yourself. If you have a proper value structure. There are troubles that you skip by because you refuse to demean yourself in any way.
• Seek help in the appropriate places from trained professionals. It is way too easy to become infatuated to the person who is trying to help you. And next thing you know, you have built a castle or city in the sky featuring that person as your partner. By the time you realise they either see you as a sibling or their child, you are already emotionally entangled, if not mentally also. A professional knows how to assist you, without leaving you worse than they met you. 
• Maintain emotional distance. You don’t want to get entangled? Don’t get emotionally involved. This pandemic has reinforced some traditions that kept people from starting something they should not have began, to start with. There are cultures that had what I will call gender segregation. Women had their quarters, so did men. They only mixed in supervised circumstances. Even at social gatherings, women sat on one side while men sat at the other. In such arrangements, temptations are minimal with little or no opportunity to yield. Keep physical and emotional distance from the opposite gender, that isn’t in your nuclear family.

The ripple effect of this entanglement saga is far-reaching. Like an octopus with many tentacles.

I will be back to post my perspective on the other angles.

Stay safe, stay healthy in your body, soul and spirit.

Shalom!

https://puttingmyfeetinthedirt.com/2020/07/01/july-writing-prompts-2/ 2. City in the Sky, 5. The Sting of Rejection

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I’m Back?

Hello Amazing people! How have you been holding up and holding the fort of this vast blogging community?

 I have missed been here. And it’s not because I have nothing to say, but because I felt overwhelmed by other things going on in my life, so much so that it demanded my full attention. I ended up feeling too exhausted to come here, much less write anything.

Generally speaking? I can say it’s a woman’s thing. Pardon me, fellow women who can’t relate. I’m happy for you. Truly.

 If something is off in any area of our lives, we try to shoulder everything at the same time — pointlessly so — because we start running on fumes then we burn out and something slips out of our hands. And we hope against hope, that it’s not something breakable that will shatter to smitterings at our tired feet, while we look on with a dazed tired look.

We dare not try to pack up the mess we unwittingly created, otherwise something else might fall from us and crash — again.

At that point, we are too tired to scream, so all we want to do is kick off our shoes, find a place to curl up and have a good cry.

The result of outward things slipping and falling, are reflections of things falling apart on the inside of us. So instead of us to do the sensible deed, of properly handling the issues before they get out of hand, we decide to play ostrich — avoiding a situation by getting overtly involved in other things, until we can no longer get involved in anything.

When I say anything, I mean anything! We don’t want to get out bed. We binge on food, movies or anything else. Personal grooming? What’s dat? It’s gone out of the window. We end up looking and behaving as messy as we feel. Aren’t those signs of depression? Oh well. Crap happens.

I didn’t get that off my rocker — this time. But still, I felt angry and weary. 

I did binge on food and a Zee World TV series. Pretty healthy food though, I think?

The series was Jodha Akbar. Pretty gripping after about the 10th episode. I will tell you more about that later.

Now back to things slipping and shattering to smithereens at tired feet.

It could be a marriage hitting the rocks — God forbid! It could be a relationship gone south. A business or career nose diving or plummeting. A child in trouble or troubled, or both. Family brouhaha. These are fragile precious things that must not slip, but unfortunately sometimes they do.

In mine case, I slipped from the gathering of the brethren, blogging, personal spiritual exercises. For months. I think it’s because they reminded me — painfully so — what I don’t have, yet, that I believe I should have had eons ago. 

I felt, ‘Who was I fooling? My enemies lives suck (not mine, thank you!)’ 

It‘s a feeling I fall into from time to time, until God picks me up and keeps me moving.

I don’t feel 100% optimistic yet, but by God’s grace I’m getting more stable by the day.

I just pray that everything falls into the rightful place in my life, soon. 

More specifically, I pray that ‘the lines fall unto me in pleasant places‘, according to Psalms 16, so that I will be ‘comforted on every side’ according to Psalm 71. 

It is well🌴Shalom🌿