“I’m leaving Brad”, NiAnn said with quiet conviction.
“Praise the Lord”, Ximena declared looking like the true follower of Christ she was, howbeit a little dramatic.
Zoe rolled her eyes. “Come on Ximena. Like seriously?”
“What”, Ximena asked the glaring NiAnn with wide eyed innocence. “Isn’t it good to praise the Lord?”
NiAnn huffed and looked away.
“Well yes, it’s good to praise the Lord”, Zoe replied with a look on face that says I can’t believe I’m having this ridiculous argument with you. “But now isn’t the time to say it out loud!”
Ximena was relishing her cup of herbal tea, as she peered at her fav peers with muted mischief in her sparkling cinnamon eyes. This was an answer to prayer. And she had praised God for granting her request of detoxifying her friend’s life of toxic people. And Brad was one of them. She most certainly wouldn’t mourn about it.
She swallowed her witty comeback with her tea, so NiAnn can spill the tea on what happened.
“So. What happened?” Zoe asked
“Freda is pregnant and Brad’s the father.” NiAnn rubbed her elbow like she normally did when she was upset.
Zoe gasped, “What? Again?”
Ximena merely raised her brows, as she kept sipping her tea. How extraordinary, she thought sarcastically.
“I thought he promised you he was done with her?” Zoe queried.
“He changed his mind again.” NiAnn looked sad but with a new strength that says she would be okay.
Praise God. Ximena thought, as she kept observing her friend.
“I was beginning to feel like the interloper. He may have divorced Freda on paper, but I wish it didn’t take me this long to realize, he’s still married to her in his heart.”
“I’m so sorry, NiA”, a concerned Zoe tried to console her.
“That or he’s just doesn’t want to fully committ to anyone. Be it Freda, me or anyone.” NiAnn continued in quiet contemplation.
“You were right, Ximena. I was his, but he was never mine.”
Ximena softened, “Hey. You know I love you too much to want to be right about something like this. You just need to learn to stay away from complicated people and trying to rescue them.”
“Perhaps you should pursue a career as a Fire Fighter. I hear the men there are hot.” Zoe winked
“Speaking of careers. My e-commerce website has picked up speed. I closed five very profitable deals last night!” NiAnn bounced in her seat with barely concealed excitement, a huge smile on her face and a sparkle in her hazel eyes.
“Praise the Lord!“, Zoe declared in happiness for her friend’s success.
“Hallelujah!” The girls chorused
Three cups click in the air in celebration as the three friends laughed. The laughter of reassurance that where life is, hope abides.
Hello, Wonderfully Made Folks! I know it’s hard on a lot of us, as we are required to stay home and dress like a surgeon, anytime we have a (very important) NEED to go out. But I believe like one heroine says, “this too shall pass”.
Thirty minutes prior to typing this post, I was watching on Instagram, Monique, an Oscar Award winner, boxing in the gym. And she was encouraging us to fight for our health and well-being.
Then I watched a commentary, about a Black soul singer whose name is being snatched from her, by a singing group who happen to be mostly white. I said mostly because they look white to me.
The name they are both dragging is Lady A. What I learnt from this though, is this:
Focusing on growth is good, but you need to PROTECT your brand like it’s worth one trillion. Copyright ©️ and safeguard your works, ideas, name… everything, so if anyone wants to blindside or rob you, they would have to pay dearly for the attempt.
Now I’m race-right/light/good, fighting against race-wrong/evil/dark. My racial ideology consists of more than colour, culture, or location.
But I am aware that racism and racial superiority complex exist and many black people are at the receiving end of having their ideas, works, brand and names stolen from them; and the system seems biased in favour of the thieves.
Then the coup de grace happened, while I was watching a commentary of Kanye & Kim’s current situation. And that just drove me here to speak my mind.
Already, I have been seeing and hearing their names being mentioned with tension, with some folks being too gleeful about it.
Now, when glee is laced with the mention of this couple, you know it is not a jolly time for the couple. I’m not a fan of either, because I can’t relate to their lifestyle, but that doesn’t warrant wishing them ill will, now does it?
Well, according to the commentator (who was sounding too sunny by the way, but I would like to think that’s his natural manner of speaking), Kanye had tweeted that his wife, Kim, is a white supremacist! That among other accusations. (What! On twitter — in public– for goodness sake!)
You know. This is why I tried to encourage us in the first paragraph of this post. Because this stay-at-home pandemic seems to be shaking “things” out of people.
Maybe it’s having to stay indoors all day every day with people you hardly spend time with, that is pushing people to the limit of their endurance. Dr D.K. Olukoya once said, that when people are shaken like a bottle, it’s what is in them that will come out. If nothing is in them, nothing will come out!
The world is going through shaking, and a lot is coming out.
Back to the couple.
So Kim’s reply was that she is considering divorce. Well, my humble opinion is that Kim should consider fighting on Kanye’s turf.
When I say fight here’s what I mean:
Kanye: My wife is a white supremacist etc…
Kim: Hey husband!😲 Take that back! That isn’t funny😐
See? That’s fighting. Since he’s decided to publicly accuse her, then she should publicly reply him. Like they are having a private argument/conversation gone public. Politeness is required and easy to do, because typing your thoughts and response, is slower than a verbal response. Written words can be edited for better understanding and communication, but no spoken words.
Running away and not addressing what he has tweeted, puts a stamp of credibility to his accusations.
I understand that it hurts because a husband is supposed to be his wife’s cover, confidant, mentor, friend, and supportive critique (not public!) among other things.
However, I don’t know what has been brewing behind closed doors. But whatever the case may or may not be, don’t/shouldn’t they have a marriage counsellor in their corner, they can talk to anytime talking to each other, is not working?
I had to give you a preview of what I had fed on before reaching this couple’s issue. Because I think that is what inspired the theme fight, in this post.
It was Nelson Mandela who said, “Speak to a man in a language he understands, and it goes to his head. Speak to a man in his own language, and it goes to his heart.”
Obviously, speaking to Kanye’s head might be out of the question for Kim. But I think she ought to fight, by speaking to his heart in his own language.
At this moment, he’s speaking twitter. Good. Then have a conversation with and engage him on twitter.
I heard she’s a lawyer now. It’s time to use those skills to defend herself in the court of public opinion and bring her husband to heel.
I guess it’s for the best, she have a “Red Table Talk” kind of conversation, with her husband on twitter.
She needs to politely ask him to prove his accusations and if he can’t or his accusations are found to be untrue, she must firmly and respectfully demand he gives her a public twitter apology — since that’s where it became public.
Fight Kim, but don’t run away by getting a divorce.
Stay safe and healthy!
Hello, Wonderfully made! I hope we are staying safe and healthy.
From the topic, some of us may already guess what this is about. But just in case you don’t, I will brief you.
Jada Smith suggested that she got “entangled” with another man while she was on a marriage hiatus.
She said this to her husband on her show, where it’s just two people at a table. This time it was her husband and her.
I don’t like to talk about people especially when they have done what’s wrong — in my view.
However, I want to address the issues surrounding this saga and there are many angles to this story.
In this post, I want to talk about the other man.
It seems it was the other man who first mentioned the entanglement.
He talked about how it affected him and it turns out he’s releasing a song titled “Entanglement”.
I think he feels rejected. Or dumped. And perhaps used. Whichever it was, I’m sure it doesn’t feel good.
I have yet to watch the interview, August (one of his names) gave. The little I have heard especially from Jada, turned my stomach. As I type this I feel slightly nauseous.
I think he should have expected this though, but for reasons, best known to him and Jada, he’s traumatised by the entanglement. Coupled with the fact that he was going through some issues that may need a psychologist to fix. Apparently, he and she chose to handle it in-house since rumour has it he’s somewhat a family friend. They got closer and the rest is still unfolding.
Again I believe part of what ails the man is The sting of rejection.
Apparently, he assumed they would become a couple. That, or he later realised he had become too emotionally attached to her and whatever did happen between them, that he is now suffering withdrawal syndrome or is it symptoms?
Either or, he’s so pained or miffed about it, that could no longer keep it to himself: that something happened between him and a married woman during her marital break time.
To all and sundry, let’s take these lessons:
- Do not get entangled — at all. If you do, you will feel trapped. Actually, you will be trapped. So if you cherish your freedom, anything that isn’t clear and concise, just steer clear.
- Steer clear of a romantic interest who is married! Really, you can’t win. Rather, it will do you in. You will be sucked into all their issues that extends to their children and spouse. Besides, karma is not extinct. Do to others what you want to be done to you and this warning wouldn’t be necessary.
- Respect other people’s feelings and relationships. I’m talking of those “they” are in relationships with or married to and the children.
- Respect yourself. If you have a proper value structure. There are troubles that you skip by because you refuse to demean yourself in any way.
- Seek help in the appropriate places from trained professionals. It is way too easy to become infatuated to the person who is trying to help you. And next thing you know, you have built a castle or city in the sky featuring that person as your partner. By the time you realise they either see you as a sibling or their child, you are already emotionally entangled, if not mentally also. A professional knows how to assist you, without leaving you worse than they met you.
- Maintain emotional distance. You don’t want to get entangled? Don’t get emotionally involved. This pandemic has reinforced some traditions that kept people from starting something they should not have began, to start with. There are cultures that had what I will call gender segregation. Women had their quarters, so did men. They only mixed in supervised circumstances. Even at social gatherings, women sat on one side while men sat at the other. In such arrangements, temptations are minimal with little or no opportunity to yield. Keep physical and emotional distance from the opposite gender, that isn’t in your nuclear family.
The ripple effect of this entanglement saga is far-reaching. Like an octopus with many tentacles.
I will be back to post my perspective on the other angles.
Stay safe, stay healthy in your body, soul and spirit.
Listen to the most recent episode of my podcast: Know God, Know Love. https://anchor.fm/ade-ade78/episodes/Know-God–Know-Love-eadh69