Christian Musings, Sanguine thoughts, Singles' issues

Beauty Within

Hello Everyone!

I was reading Isaiah 53 until I halted at verse 2. Now, that doesn’t seem long, but it was talking about the Messiah, in a way I had not read before.

Verse two, halted me to a point I had to write what came to mind.

“”For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he had no form nor comeliness and when we shall see him there is no beauty that we should desire him

What?! Are they implying that Jesus was not handsome?!

Not only that. That verse emphasised that he was not desirable to look upon either — beauty wise.

Then I smiled wryly.

Maybe that was why women were not beating down his door for marriage.

I imagined he must have been comfortable and safe for the women — after all if I read this verse right — Jesus wasn’t a hottie.

But he had a heart of gold; prepared to die for mankind to be saved, and then demonstrated the love, that a married couple should have for each other — how a husband should love his wife and how a wife should relate to her husband — though he was never married.

Then I thought of how women will not find a man attractive because he’s not that attractive. And how women could often miss out, on being with a good man, like Jesus who may not have been beautiful, comely, attractive.

I just wonder, “How many Jesus-like men do we have, that single women are missing out on?!”

This is a sore subject for a lot of women. They miss out on the right kind of man because they are looking for the right kind of look, rather than looking at the heart of the man — his ability and willingness to love, to cherish, guide, befriend and protect.

Most times we just befriend them and make ourselves the matchmaker; deciding who is good or not good enough for him, without thinking we could be that woman.

Why befriend a man you can’t marry?

Why befriend him? Especially if you know that he wants more than friendship with you?

I know you have to pray and ask for God’s direction, but make sure, that you are not throwing away something good because he does not look hot enough.

We usually can sense a good man when we see him. Make your choice! Do not play with a man’s feelings.

And don’t stand in the way.

Don’t be the gatekeeper standing in the way, to scrutinize any woman that might be the woman, you have refused to be, for him.

Be woman enough, to make your decision and stand with it — even if and when you have to stand alone.

Stay safe, stay healthy and SHALOM 🍋

Advertisement
Christian Musings, Parenting Series, Purpose and life's mission, Stories

Fight, Kim. Not Run (Yet)

Hello, Wonderfully Made Folks! I know it’s hard on a lot of us, as we are required to stay home and dress like a surgeon, anytime we have a (very important) NEED to go out. But I believe like one heroine says, “this too shall pass”.

Thirty minutes prior to typing this post, I was watching on Instagram, Monique, an Oscar Award winner, boxing in the gym. And she was encouraging us to fight for our health and well-being.

Then I watched a commentary, about a Black soul singer whose name is being snatched from her, by a singing group who happen to be mostly white. I said mostly because they look white to me.

The name they are both dragging is Lady A. What I learnt from this though, is this:

Focusing on growth is good, but you need to PROTECT your brand like it’s worth one trillion. Copyright ©️ and safeguard your works, ideas, name… everything, so if anyone wants to blindside or rob you, they would have to pay dearly for the attempt.

Now I’m race-right/light/good, fighting against race-wrong/evil/dark. My racial ideology consists of more than colour, culture, or location.

But I am aware that racism and racial superiority complex exist and many black people are at the receiving end of having their ideas, works, brand and names stolen from them; and the system seems biased in favour of the thieves. 

Then the coup de grace happened, while I was watching a commentary of Kanye & Kim’s current situation. And that just drove me here to speak my mind.

Already, I have been seeing and hearing their names being mentioned with tension, with some folks being too gleeful about it.

Now, when glee is laced with the mention of this couple, you know it is not a jolly time for the couple. I’m not a fan of either, because I can’t relate to their lifestyle, but that doesn’t warrant wishing them ill will, now does it?

Well, according to the commentator (who was sounding too sunny by the way, but I would like to think that’s his natural manner of speaking), Kanye had tweeted that his wife, Kim, is a white supremacist! That among other accusations. (What! On twitter — in public– for goodness sake!)

You know. This is why I tried to encourage us in the first paragraph of this post. Because this stay-at-home pandemic seems to be shaking “things” out of people. 

Maybe it’s having to stay indoors all day every day with people you hardly spend time with, that is pushing people to the limit of their endurance. Dr D.K. Olukoya once said, that when people are shaken like a bottle, it’s what is in them that will come out. If nothing is in them, nothing will come out!

The world is going through shaking, and a lot is coming out.

Back to the couple.

So Kim’s reply was that she is considering divorce. Well, my humble opinion is that Kim should consider fighting on Kanye’s turf.

When I say fight here’s what I mean:

Kanye: My wife is a white supremacist etc…

Kim: Hey husband!😲 Take that back! That isn’t funny😐

See? That’s fighting. Since he’s decided to publicly accuse her, then she should publicly reply him. Like they are having a private argument/conversation gone public. Politeness is required and easy to do, because typing your thoughts and response, is slower than a verbal response. Written words can be edited for better understanding and communication, but no spoken words.

Running away and not addressing what he has tweeted, puts a stamp of credibility to his accusations.

I understand that it hurts because a husband is supposed to be his wife’s cover, confidant, mentor, friend, and supportive critique (not public!) among other things.

However, I don’t know what has been brewing behind closed doors. But whatever the case may or may not be, don’t/shouldn’t they have a marriage counsellor in their corner, they can talk to anytime talking to each other, is not working?

I had to give you a preview of what I had fed on before reaching this couple’s issue. Because I think that is what inspired the theme fight, in this post.

It was Nelson Mandela who said, “Speak to a man in a language he understands, and it goes to his head. Speak to a man in his own language, and it goes to his heart.”

Obviously, speaking to Kanye’s head might be out of the question for Kim. But I think she ought to fight, by speaking to his heart in his own language.

At this moment, he’s speaking twitter. Good. Then have a conversation with and engage him on twitter.

I heard she’s a lawyer now. It’s time to use those skills to defend herself in the court of public opinion and bring her husband to heel.

I guess it’s for the best, she have a “Red Table Talk” kind of conversation, with her husband on twitter.

She needs to politely ask him to prove his accusations and if he can’t or his accusations are found to be untrue, she must firmly and respectfully demand he gives her a public twitter apology — since that’s where it became public.

Fight Kim, but don’t run away by getting a divorce. 

Stay safe and healthy!

Shalom!

https://puttingmyfeetinthedirt.com/2020/07/01/july-writing-prompts-2/ #10 Regretful Happenings 

Christian Musings, Life

Entanglements

 Hello, Wonderfully made! I hope we are staying safe and healthy.

From the topic, some of us may already guess what this is about. But just in case you don’t, I will brief you.

Jada Smith suggested that she got “entangled” with another man while she was on a marriage hiatus.

She said this to her husband on her show, where it’s just two people at a table. This time it was her husband and her.

Very interesting.

I don’t like to talk about people especially when they have done what’s wrong — in my view.

However, I want to address the issues surrounding this saga and there are many angles to this story.

In this post, I want to talk about the other man. 

It seems it was the other man who first mentioned the entanglement.

He talked about how it affected him and it turns out he’s releasing a song titled “Entanglement”.

I think he feels rejected. Or dumped. And perhaps used. Whichever it was, I’m sure it doesn’t feel good.

I have yet to watch the interview, August (one of his names) gave. The little I have heard especially from Jada, turned my stomach. As I type this I feel slightly nauseous.

I think he should have expected this though, but for reasons, best known to him and Jada, he’s traumatised by the entanglement. Coupled with the fact that he was going through some issues that may need a psychologist to fix. Apparently, he and she chose to handle it in-house since rumour has it he’s somewhat a family friend. They got closer and the rest is still unfolding.

Again I believe part of what ails the man is The sting of rejection. 

Apparently, he assumed they would become a couple. That, or he later realised he had become too emotionally attached to her and whatever did happen between them, that he is now suffering withdrawal syndrome or is it symptoms?

Either or, he’s so pained or miffed about it, that could no longer keep it to himself: that something happened between him and a married woman during her marital break time. 

To all and sundry, let’s take these lessons:

  • Do not get entangled — at all. If you do, you will feel trapped. Actually, you will be trapped. So if you cherish your freedom, anything that isn’t clear and concise, just steer clear. 
  • Steer clear of a romantic interest who is married! Really, you can’t win. Rather, it will do you in. You will be sucked into all their issues that extends to their children and spouse. Besides, karma is not extinct. Do to others what you want to be done to you and this warning wouldn’t be necessary. 
  • Respect other people’s feelings and relationships. I’m talking of those “they” are in relationships with or married to and the children.
  • Respect yourself. If you have a proper value structure. There are troubles that you skip by because you refuse to demean yourself in any way.
  • Seek help in the appropriate places from trained professionals. It is way too easy to become infatuated to the person who is trying to help you. And next thing you know, you have built a castle or city in the sky featuring that person as your partner. By the time you realise they either see you as a sibling or their child, you are already emotionally entangled, if not mentally also. A professional knows how to assist you, without leaving you worse than they met you. 
  • Maintain emotional distance. You don’t want to get entangled? Don’t get emotionally involved. This pandemic has reinforced some traditions that kept people from starting something they should not have began, to start with. There are cultures that had what I will call gender segregation. Women had their quarters, so did men. They only mixed in supervised circumstances. Even at social gatherings, women sat on one side while men sat at the other. In such arrangements, temptations are minimal with little or no opportunity to yield. Keep physical and emotional distance from the opposite gender, that isn’t in your nuclear family.

The ripple effect of this entanglement saga is far-reaching. Like an octopus with many tentacles.

I will be back to post my perspective on the other angles.

Stay safe, stay healthy in your body, soul and spirit.

Shalom!

https://puttingmyfeetinthedirt.com/2020/07/01/july-writing-prompts-2/ 2. City in the Sky, 5. The Sting of Rejection

Christian Musings, Jehovah, Life, Purpose and life's mission

Are we Humane Beings?

I was on youtube watching “Conversations with America”. Bishop T.D. Jakes was the host featuring a group of senior police officers, retired police officers and a psychologist who works with the army on mental health.

The topic was Police Brutality. And the Bishop was asking a lot of questions to understand why it happens and what causes it.

One of the officers said they are not always taught to be human, but to just get the job done.

And the psychologist said, “If you need to be taught to be human, you shouldn’t be hired at all.”

Someone in the comment section highlighted that statement and this response just hit me. I just kept writing. Here it is:

Unfortunately, we all have to “become” human beings. Remember the story of the “Good Samaritan”? All those who ought to know better walked past the wounded man. How many times have we as individuals “walked past”?

There are people who wouldn’t have joined the protest if they still had to go to work or identify with some “fraternity”. But priorities have narrowed down to food, shelter, health and security. Fear of “it could have been me” got many to rush out realising what they have probably been ignoring or not paying adequate attention to and not taking practical steps, toward a society of equity.

That’s why being born again prevails over just being okay, with being a “good person”. 

It takes courage and a certain level of God’s anointing to do the right thing, ALWAYS. Especially, when it’s “dangerous”, inconvenient, or when we’re at risk of losing something of value.

Becoming humane is a journey we all need to take with love for the service of God and humanity.

What do you think?

Life, Parenting Series

A Daughter’s Hero, A Father’s Legacy.

Hello Beautiful People! I hope you are keeping safe and sound.

21st June was Father’s Day. 

A bittersweet day for a girl who has lost her first earthly hero. As it’s rightly said, a girl’s hero is her father. 

However, like Elisha having to watch Prophet Elijah his mentor, a man he called My Father, “charioted” up to Heaven; all I am left with, is the Mantle that flutters down as I begin to feel my father’s absence. That, and all the memories.

The memories of tough discipline, gentle instructions, his listening patient ears, as I nearly chatter his ears off… By the way? If my father didn’t loose his handsome ears for all my yakking, then no one can loose theirs for listening to others. Just said, I should put that out there.

I learnt the art of listening (eventually) because my father listened to me.

Because of that, I tried to do as he instructed, because I didn’t want to displease the only one after God who understood me.

It was a journey for him, because as a child I remember him, saying he didn’t understand me, usually, after I have been caught in an indiscretion. He would scold me. Then he gets real quiet, as if he was trying to solve the great mystery behind my behaviour. And then, like he was speaking to himself, he would say, “I can’t just understand…”

And I would feel sad and then resolve to not worry my daddy again. Which unfortunately, never happened.

Eventually, he began to understand me, and he began to teach me on what to do.

My dad is an angel. 

I adore my daddy and I miss him. I suspect I always will.

Now, his Mantel has rested right on the floor in front of me.

I just need to pick up my courage and the Mantle to cross the Jordan river….

Shalom.


Christian Musings, Life, Purpose and life's mission, Singles' issues

When You Find Yourself Alone…

What do you do when you find yourself alone? It’s no fun and I can tell you that for free (you can thank me later– or not *smiles*).

It’s not a big deal to be alone. It’s when you notice it, that it becomes an issue. 

It’s worse when you find yourself alone. Because then it’s sudden. It’s like one moment, you had company, next thing you know, you have no company. One moment you relished being alone, the next you wished you had company. And that wish lingers longer stirring in you a yearning you never thought you would feel since you gained your independence or whatever was your be-it-all. 

You find yourself, in a “place” were, being alone is fast becoming less appealing.

These could bring about despair and all sort of negative thoughts/feelings of unworthiness: as issues and insecurities you thought long dead, seems to come alive — in the pit of your stomach.

“What is wrong with me?” You may ask. Well, plenty. 

I’m sorry! But something is indeed wrong with you, for actually thinking something is wrong with you.

Usually, this awareness happens when we want to share a moment or day with someone and we find that those we have around us, are otherwise occupied, simply absent or not exclusive to us.

Often times it becomes awkward for us, when we are at weddings, family gatherings, friends hang out(or in), and we seem to be the one of the few unattached person in the mix…. No matter how non chalant you want to be, it will still be….awkward, because it’s hard to act indifferent with people who really know you. Before you know it, you find yourself avoiding events and gatherings with people who know you too well.

When loneliness hits the hardest or you are painfully aware you are alone, is when you get home and it’s no longer as warm and welcoming as it used to be. Instead of you feeling at home, you feel like you just walked into an empty shelter, that leaves you feeling emotionally discontent and vulnerably.

At that point, you know it’s your need for companionship that can no longer be ignored. 

However, finding a companion takes a lot of thoughtful resolutions and commitments. So while you work out the details to having a companion for keeps, there are few things to do that will help you prepare:

…you have much to give which is why you feel lonely…

  • Begin a humanitarian journey. Which of the societal ills or needs are you most passionate about?  That’s your niche. Find a reputable Foundation or NGO to assist and work with. There’s always an NGO for whatever you feel needs to change for the better.But if you can’t find one around, start one. However, reputable NGOs welcome enthusiastically, any one willing to volunteer. Trust me. 
  • Hobbies, New or Old

There’s something very therapeutic when you’re into any form of art or vocation.

Your creative side comes alive and sparks life into areas of your being that promotes wholesome and oneness.

Arts and vocation just has a way of putting you together. You feel found and alive. It encourages you to be purposeful. It promotes emotional stability, because you find that arts helps filter your emotions, sieving through your emotions soothingly as the negative is separated from the positive, as opposed to the jumbled  mess you where before emotionally.

It builds the desire to have a more organised and settled lifestyle, both internally and externally.

In the culture I was born into, we are encouraged to learn a trade, a craft, handiwork or vocation — no matter what we desire to have as a career.

The believe was one day you will retire and it’s the trade, craft or vocation you have learnt, that would sustain you when the job is over.

A career is seen as non replicable at a small scale, but a vocation can be practiced with little, or no capital.

Although, some school of thought will argue that, it’s best to pursue a career path you can start on your own, people aren’t really listening.

However the focus here is internal self help. You want to be settled and not feel achingly alone.

Join a reputable club for what you like. 

What did you enjoy doing as a child?

Do you still do them, and why?

It’s time to reconnect with your childhood. What were those hobbies that made childhood exciting and memorable? It might be the missing link in your life’s puzzle. Or a reaffirmation of something.

Wholeness:

Sometimes, being more vested in physical, material, career and social media even drains our spirit, leaving an emptiness behind.

Our spirit and soul is what feeds the physical. If you spend more time investing in physical things, you may soon end up bankrupt in other areas of your life.

Wholesness is important to living a healthy lifestyle. All round health is key to enjoying and experiencing life to the fullest.

Meditating on God’s word helps you more than thinking about the next big idea.

Spending quality time with God refills, refuels, renews and energises you to be better….

We will talk more on this some other time. Until then, work on being closer to God.

Shalom🌷🌴🌱