Little by little, I had to recoverFrom misshapen realities that hit me like feverish fiascos
Little by little, I am building up what was lostLike the egg nest, I strived to have
Musings of a Sanguine Christian Woman
This site is about sharing my thoughts, views, and discoveries, as a Christian woman.
Little by little, I had to recoverFrom misshapen realities that hit me like feverish fiascos
Little by little, I am building up what was lostLike the egg nest, I strived to have
Little by little, I will recoverThe heart of who I am
Little by little, turbulent tranquillity is giving wayTo tranquillity…beyond bliss
For nearly burying yesterdays
Of the heart of who I am
— the candy cabinet of splashes of indigo and magenta in twilight beyond bliss….
May the faceless faces
Of misshapen realities and stormy nights
Both impressive and ludicrous
Be lost in lava swirls and twin flames forever
I was on youtube watching “Conversations with America”. Bishop T.D. Jakes was the host featuring a group of senior police officers, retired police officers and a psychologist who works with the army on mental health.
The topic was Police Brutality. And the Bishop was asking a lot of questions to understand why it happens and what causes it.
One of the officers said they are not always taught to be human, but to just get the job done.
And the psychologist said, “If you need to be taught to be human, you shouldn’t be hired at all.”
Someone in the comment section highlighted that statement and this response just hit me. I just kept writing. Here it is:
Unfortunately, we all have to “become” human beings. Remember the story of the “Good Samaritan”? All those who ought to know better walked past the wounded man. How many times have we as individuals “walked past”?
There are people who wouldn’t have joined the protest if they still had to go to work or identify with some “fraternity”. But priorities have narrowed down to food, shelter, health and security. Fear of “it could have been me” got many to rush out realising what they have probably been ignoring or not paying adequate attention to and not taking practical steps, toward a society of equity.
That’s why being born again prevails over just being okay, with being a “good person”.
It takes courage and a certain level of God’s anointing to do the right thing, ALWAYS. Especially, when it’s “dangerous”, inconvenient, or when we’re at risk of losing something of value.
Becoming humane is a journey we all need to take with love for the service of God and humanity.
What do you think?
What do you do when you find yourself alone? It’s no fun and I can tell you that for free (you can thank me later– or not *smiles*).
It’s not a big deal to be alone. It’s when you notice it, that it becomes an issue.
It’s worse when you find yourself alone. Because then it’s sudden. It’s like one moment, you had company, next thing you know, you have no company. One moment you relished being alone, the next you wished you had company. And that wish lingers longer stirring in you a yearning you never thought you would feel since you gained your independence or whatever was your be-it-all.
You find yourself, in a “place” were, being alone is fast becoming less appealing.
These could bring about despair and all sort of negative thoughts/feelings of unworthiness: as issues and insecurities you thought long dead, seems to come alive — in the pit of your stomach.
“What is wrong with me?” You may ask. Well, plenty.
I’m sorry! But something is indeed wrong with you, for actually thinking something is wrong with you.
Usually, this awareness happens when we want to share a moment or day with someone and we find that those we have around us, are otherwise occupied, simply absent or not exclusive to us.
Often times it becomes awkward for us, when we are at weddings, family gatherings, friends hang out(or in), and we seem to be the one of the few unattached person in the mix…. No matter how non chalant you want to be, it will still be….awkward, because it’s hard to act indifferent with people who really know you. Before you know it, you find yourself avoiding events and gatherings with people who know you too well.
When loneliness hits the hardest or you are painfully aware you are alone, is when you get home and it’s no longer as warm and welcoming as it used to be. Instead of you feeling at home, you feel like you just walked into an empty shelter, that leaves you feeling emotionally discontent and vulnerably.
At that point, you know it’s your need for companionship that can no longer be ignored.
However, finding a companion takes a lot of thoughtful resolutions and commitments. So while you work out the details to having a companion for keeps, there are few things to do that will help you prepare:
…you have much to give which is why you feel lonely…
There’s something very therapeutic when you’re into any form of art or vocation.
Your creative side comes alive and sparks life into areas of your being that promotes wholesome and oneness.
Arts and vocation just has a way of putting you together. You feel found and alive. It encourages you to be purposeful. It promotes emotional stability, because you find that arts helps filter your emotions, sieving through your emotions soothingly as the negative is separated from the positive, as opposed to the jumbled mess you where before emotionally.
It builds the desire to have a more organised and settled lifestyle, both internally and externally.
In the culture I was born into, we are encouraged to learn a trade, a craft, handiwork or vocation — no matter what we desire to have as a career.
The believe was one day you will retire and it’s the trade, craft or vocation you have learnt, that would sustain you when the job is over.
A career is seen as non replicable at a small scale, but a vocation can be practiced with little, or no capital.
Although, some school of thought will argue that, it’s best to pursue a career path you can start on your own, people aren’t really listening.
However the focus here is internal self help. You want to be settled and not feel achingly alone.
Join a reputable club for what you like.
What did you enjoy doing as a child?
Do you still do them, and why?
It’s time to reconnect with your childhood. What were those hobbies that made childhood exciting and memorable? It might be the missing link in your life’s puzzle. Or a reaffirmation of something.
Sometimes, being more vested in physical, material, career and social media even drains our spirit, leaving an emptiness behind.
Our spirit and soul is what feeds the physical. If you spend more time investing in physical things, you may soon end up bankrupt in other areas of your life.
Wholesness is important to living a healthy lifestyle. All round health is key to enjoying and experiencing life to the fullest.
Meditating on God’s word helps you more than thinking about the next big idea.
Spending quality time with God refills, refuels, renews and energises you to be better….
We will talk more on this some other time. Until then, work on being closer to God.
What to do
A risky business
Froth by desperation
To do something
Anything for the sake of busyness
For to do nothing
While waiting out obscurity
At times, we run
From the past
Or the present
And at times
Addicted to action
What may be living with us
As a haunting shadow
But if we wait
And brave the quiet
To confront our thoughts
We would begin
Through the troubled waters
Of life or our soul
Our true expression
Our true shape and state
Through the clarity
After the storm
I want to stop running
So I can be free
From the storm within
What if I drown
But what if I don’t
As long as I have Jesus
As my anchor
I cannot sink
With Christ in my vessel
At the storm
What do we do about people who twist the truth and insult those who point it out?
As a Christian a lot is expected of you in God’s Kingdom and in relating with others for the development of all.
Some people who I’m beginning to think are trying to create hype, are always verbally attacking anyone whose expression and interpretation contradicts their own.
Hard as I try understanding people whose lives aren’t that sterling, but think it’s their duty to impose corrections filled with faults on everybody else, sounds hilarious, except I’m not laughing.
Reading the Bible is a study in mystery that I think someone should write a book on.
The Word of God is a living breathing Word, powerful enough to make flesh.
It’s a cleanser, purifier, transformer, healer, comforter, shelter, edifier and so much more.
It is also a double edged sword and a mirror.
And if you think too highly of yourself, you are likely to see only what you want to see in the mirror-like sword and then point it against others.
Your reason or should I say motive for reading the Bible is more important than the reading itself — God forgive me if saying that is a sin.
Because you read your motives into what you are reading. Therefore if you are looking to justify yourself in what is wrong, you will likely find an example that may seem to agree with you.
The right way to read God’s Word is to have the motive to right your ways to God’s satisfaction. Anything less than that is no different from reading history or the law.
God’s Word is HIStory. If we want something different from that then we should write our own story.
Plagiarism is still a crime, I believe.
Reading into God’s Word what isn’t there is no different from plagiarism.
The last statement of the Bible in the Book of Revelations is clear on how God feels about twisting HIS Truth.
It’s save and wise even, not to get it twisted.
Another year is gone
I’m still all alone
Says a popular song
Without the family I crave
The life I prayed for
Is not what I have
Despair struggles to get in,
While I barely can shut it out
Makes the heart weary
I’m not afraid of getting older
But I feel shame for not having
My dream fulfilled
When will my reflection show
Who I’m inside
Feeling too weak
To be frustrated
Feeling too tired to be tired
But my Redeemer is strong
The Lord of hosts
Is His name
And I know He’s fighting for me
To hold my peace
Is all I’m required
Seems like a chore
Heal me Oh Lord
And I shall be healed
Safe me and I shall be saved
Hello WondeBeau People!
It’s been long since I have been here — and I know I say that all the time or at least most of the time, so please bear with me.
Starting a business is very trendy, especially in this fast and sometimes jaw-dropping millennium we find ourselves.
If you are not starting a business, you are mostly seen and regarded as a “lazy coward” — which I must say isn’t mostly true
Starting a business is more in vogue than anything the fashion plate has to offer. Infact, owning a business is the fashion plate.
I think the — permit me to use this word — craze for owning a business stems from the wanting to be independent, or rather the declaration of independence.
After all, if you start a business, it’s a serious and responsible thing you are doing. And people will commend your folks on how well they’ve raised you, for you to venture out on your own. Even if your folks are unsure of what you’re about but they have a pretty good idea why you are about it, they will be forced to half-heartedly acknowledge that you are indeed doing something noteworthy. But…
I must say, that’s probably the most inspiring trend that has come out of this generation. I mean you can’t really blame our parents for being sceptical.
Their child who has always been getting into one scrap or the other, with parents having to clean up after them, wondering what on earth they’ve done to deserve their ordeal. And half wondering if their past — whatever that may have been — is demanding payment from them through their carefree juvenile of a child.
Then all of a sudden, the child who probably is now a teen or young adult becomes serious — way too serious for comfort and the parents are thinking, “Here we go again!”
Here they are, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Next thing is, “I want to start this business…”
And they’re thinking, “What now. Is s/he doing drugs?
Then they find out — in most cases — that their children has indeed found his/her legal genius. There was never a time they thought their children weren’t geniuses. They simply were geniuses in the wrong.
So most of the time startups had to get support from self and maybe later from the government or NGOs that support new business ventures.
It’s trilling to say, I’m an entrepreneur. Or I’m self-employed.
What does it mean? And most importantly what does it take be an entrepreneur?
Sometimes, starting a business is an avenue to vent your spleen, to release your pent up emotions or to release something that had been suppressed. To show those who think you are nobody, that you will be somebody.
I think that’s a fantastic productive way of fighting the demons — as long as you don’t run out of steam. Or you have plans on how to continue when you run out of steam.
There’s something about starting a business that exposes your weaknesses and flaws.
You need to know how to manage yourself before you can effectively and efficiently manage a business.
Earlier I was presented a question on: How do you define self-management as a lady? (even auto correct is wondering ‘what da hey?’)
Apparently this was asked in a job interview (phenomenal).
I didn’t know how to answer that question because I wasn’t familiar with that word.
I could have responded by saying, ‘the ability to manage yourself’ and that would have been too cheeky of me. So as I usually handled things I didn’t understand, I shelved it.
The first thing that came to mind was organisation. Being able to coordinate yourself in an organised manner in a way that enhances productivity — no matter what you might be going through and irrespective of your stress level.
Now, it would be nice if that describes me, but it doesn’t — at the moment.
I express how I feel, I don’t manage it — though I’m trying to.
Now I suspect that if you’re been asked that question in an interview, they want to find out if you can keep your personal life personal, without allowing it spill into your work life, thereby affecting how productive you are. Never crack, or fall apart no matter what.
In other words, self-management involves your health: Taking sick leave or being physically sluggish at work, could probably be defined by the employer as, not being able to manage your health, thereby affecting your work!
If one has family problems and becomes distracted and lethargic at work, that may be defined as: being unable to control your emotions making logic and reason difficult in the work place!
If you just had your baby (congratulations!) and you need ma/paternity leave and/or extra breaks during work to take care of yourself and your babies, then you may be termed as: being unable to separate work from family/personal matters thereby reducing productivity in the work place!
In other words, whatever keeps you from giving your 100% at work is no business of the company.
What they are asking is, can you keep working per demand irrespective of what may or may not be going on in your life?
I may be overthinking things of course, but I can’t help but think this is a trick question meant to qualify, disqualify or trap an unsuspecting applicant. By the time the would-be employee knows what this is or may be about, it would have been too late to have a say in the matter.
I mean, self-management?! Come on.
Which is probably one of the major reasons why people are overcoming their fear of starting businesses and launching into the world of entrepreneurship, head first.
The other option is becoming less and less of an option. Working for someone else is becoming more unconducive by the day. Some are fortunate to work with companies who are humane and truly care for the overall well-being of their staff, but many don’t have that fortune.
The code word for this millennium is freedom. Having your own business, seems to be the only way to gain your financial independence, while maintaining your freedom of what, when and how you compromise…..
Hello wonderful people!
Recently I have had a fascination for TED talks on YouTube, and I must say I have learnt a lot, on different topics.
Most recently, I watched a TED on entrepreneurs and the reality they hardly discuss or talk about.
Of course, the speaker is an entrepreneur talking from experience.
He talked about being lonely, depressed and most times flat broke. But when asked by friends and family how his business was going, he said,
“I will grin while gritting my teeth and say, ‘Great!’ “
The word great is usually a cuss word replacement, used mostly when we have put in our best into a project, and something upsets it so much, we might have to start all over again.
And we are already tired.
In the spirit of being positive even when we feel anything but, we throw our arms up and mutter, “Great!” — even when we are swearing on the inside.
Because, the first step into starting a business, or being an entrepreneur — as it’s called these days — that first step is motivation, hence the rise in motivational speaking and speakers.
More than 50% of most seminars are spent on motivational speaking. And what do they talk about? Power of Positive Thinking.
And the Bible says, “As a man thinketh in his heart so is he.”
Of course, you also must talk positive especially when you don’t feel like!
You must think and speak and act positively, especially when things are not going well.
And in the face of disappointment, stress, and possible depression, it is hard.
At some point I ask myself… not at some point.
I have been asking myself, if I’m being positive in my words or am I lying to myself and others?
You are likely to get assistance even if it’s encouragement, when you say things as they are, not as you wish them to be.
For a Christian entrepreneur, it’s harder to be ‘honest‘ with your feeling because, it could mean you don’t have faith.
After all, faith is still evidence of things not seen.
I’m apparently going to ask my pastor the difference between lying and speaking faith. It’s been long overdue.
I don’t know about you, but when I speak faith, I feel like a bloody liar.
And just so you know, I loathe lying and deception in any shape or form.
So imagine how I feel when I say what isn’t true, even when I’m biblically justified.
One one hand, when I’m asked, “How are you?” And I reply in tired exasperation, “Not good!”, I panick that I might have sent back my Angel of blessing, who was about to hand me a reward of faith.
Then I start to ask for forgiveness on unbelief. Praying that God restores what I have lost or what I might have lost as a result of not speaking faith.
On the other hand, when I’m asked, ” So how’s business? “. And I reply, “Great“, haven’t I shot myself in the leg, by saying the opposite of reality?
You know, it’s easy to speak positively when asked about personal matters. After all, you don’t want people knowing how you really are.
But with business, it’s different because, business is not personal!
Business is about serving others goods and services for profit. Nothing personal about that, except for the profit of course, which you wouldn’t be getting, without talking to people about what you are offering.
Saying the opposite of reality, could mean the loss of prospect or a lead, investor, or any other form of assistance.
Because if you’re great, then it could be interpreted as you needing no one for anything, therefore hardly anyone will be offering to help. After all, you are great, right?
So what I sometimes do is say the truth while still speaking faith. Therefore I reply with a prayer.
Something like, ” I’m fine, in Jesus name”
However, God just hinted me now that, in order not to come off sounding like a delusional religious fanatic to people who are not in my faith, I could say something like, “Thank you for asking, I’m praying for better.”
You get the idea?
To a non-christian, prayer is the last resort when you are at the point of giving up.
To them, why pray when you have a brain to think and the ability to work?
I think people will hear what you are not saying or asking, than what you’re saying.
Not to mention, your response being uncommon and unusual.
Its like a verbal business card. It will get people thinking because of your unique choice of words, they won’t be able to forget you easily, because your words left an impression.
They might want to know you better, to hear more from you. They will talk about you to someone else. It could be an, “I met an interesting person today…..”
Even if they don’t need your services at that moment, someone they discussed you with or someone present there might actually need your services and patronise you.
One the most powerful prayers a Christian can pray is,
“O God! Give me a mouth and a wisdom, in the name of Jesus Christ. “
You will know, when you say and do the right thing when you don’t know how to respond or what to do.
In one of my previous posts, I talked about getting older and age being, not just a number.
Since belated is used with birthdays, I decided to talk about birthdays — that was until I checked the definition and I was embarrassed at how I have abused that word.
It means “delayed”.
So all the times I thought I was doing something extra by adding belated to birthday 🎊 messages, I have in essence being saying “Happy delayed birthday” ?!😳🙄
I know I’m a character. But this? I don’t know what to think. (Lord, let it not be aging. Amen. )
In my defence though, belated sounds cute. Like an extra, double whammy happy, to a birthday.
Speaking of birthdays. Having birthdays was fun, when we were adolescents and early teens.
We couldn’t wait to be grownups. Now we are, and some of us wish we weren’t. Because there are lots of things that are still belated, in goals and achievements.
Some of us could do without the reminder of one more year gone by, without something befitting our age, to boast of.
I felt bad when someone asked me when, I was going to have a birthday party. I felt bad but I tried to laugh it off. I spoke a word of faith concerning the matter. And I’m believing God for a miracle.
What are your delays and what are you doing about them?
One of mine is using this blog as my voice, since I don’t seem to have many people seeking my opinion. I wish I had began earlier.
So many things that could have been done earlier, but haven’t began.
But with God nothing shall be impossible.
I believe that word.