Christian Musings, Life, Purpose and life's mission, Singles' issues

When You Find Yourself Alone…

What do you do when you find yourself alone? It’s no fun and I can tell you that for free (you can thank me later– or not *smiles*).

It’s not a big deal to be alone. It’s when you notice it, that it becomes an issue. 

It’s worse when you find yourself alone. Because then it’s sudden. It’s like one moment, you had company, next thing you know, you have no company. One moment you relished being alone, the next you wished you had company. And that wish lingers longer stirring in you a yearning you never thought you would feel since you gained your independence or whatever was your be-it-all. 

You find yourself, in a “place” were, being alone is fast becoming less appealing.

These could bring about despair and all sort of negative thoughts/feelings of unworthiness: as issues and insecurities you thought long dead, seems to come alive — in the pit of your stomach.

“What is wrong with me?” You may ask. Well, plenty. 

I’m sorry! But something is indeed wrong with you, for actually thinking something is wrong with you.

Usually, this awareness happens when we want to share a moment or day with someone and we find that those we have around us, are otherwise occupied, simply absent or not exclusive to us.

Often times it becomes awkward for us, when we are at weddings, family gatherings, friends hang out(or in), and we seem to be the one of the few unattached person in the mix…. No matter how non chalant you want to be, it will still be….awkward, because it’s hard to act indifferent with people who really know you. Before you know it, you find yourself avoiding events and gatherings with people who know you too well.

When loneliness hits the hardest or you are painfully aware you are alone, is when you get home and it’s no longer as warm and welcoming as it used to be. Instead of you feeling at home, you feel like you just walked into an empty shelter, that leaves you feeling emotionally discontent and vulnerably.

At that point, you know it’s your need for companionship that can no longer be ignored. 

However, finding a companion takes a lot of thoughtful resolutions and commitments. So while you work out the details to having a companion for keeps, there are few things to do that will help you prepare:

…you have much to give which is why you feel lonely…

  • Begin a humanitarian journey. Which of the societal ills or needs are you most passionate about?  That’s your niche. Find a reputable Foundation or NGO to assist and work with. There’s always an NGO for whatever you feel needs to change for the better.But if you can’t find one around, start one. However, reputable NGOs welcome enthusiastically, any one willing to volunteer. Trust me. 
  • Hobbies, New or Old

There’s something very therapeutic when you’re into any form of art or vocation.

Your creative side comes alive and sparks life into areas of your being that promotes wholesome and oneness.

Arts and vocation just has a way of putting you together. You feel found and alive. It encourages you to be purposeful. It promotes emotional stability, because you find that arts helps filter your emotions, sieving through your emotions soothingly as the negative is separated from the positive, as opposed to the jumbled  mess you where before emotionally.

It builds the desire to have a more organised and settled lifestyle, both internally and externally.

In the culture I was born into, we are encouraged to learn a trade, a craft, handiwork or vocation — no matter what we desire to have as a career.

The believe was one day you will retire and it’s the trade, craft or vocation you have learnt, that would sustain you when the job is over.

A career is seen as non replicable at a small scale, but a vocation can be practiced with little, or no capital.

Although, some school of thought will argue that, it’s best to pursue a career path you can start on your own, people aren’t really listening.

However the focus here is internal self help. You want to be settled and not feel achingly alone.

Join a reputable club for what you like. 

What did you enjoy doing as a child?

Do you still do them, and why?

It’s time to reconnect with your childhood. What were those hobbies that made childhood exciting and memorable? It might be the missing link in your life’s puzzle. Or a reaffirmation of something.

Wholeness:

Sometimes, being more vested in physical, material, career and social media even drains our spirit, leaving an emptiness behind.

Our spirit and soul is what feeds the physical. If you spend more time investing in physical things, you may soon end up bankrupt in other areas of your life.

Wholesness is important to living a healthy lifestyle. All round health is key to enjoying and experiencing life to the fullest.

Meditating on God’s word helps you more than thinking about the next big idea.

Spending quality time with God refills, refuels, renews and energises you to be better….

We will talk more on this some other time. Until then, work on being closer to God.

Shalom🌷🌴🌱

Christian Musings, Jehovah, Life, Poem, Purpose and life's mission, Sanguine thoughts

Wait….

 What to do

Without understanding

A risky business

Froth by desperation

To do something
Anything for the sake of busyness

For to do nothing

 While waiting out obscurity

Is unthinkable

At times, we run

From the past

Or the present

And at times 

Ourselves

Addicted to action

Work, busyness

To escape

What may be living with us

As a haunting shadow

But if we wait

And brave the quiet

To confront our thoughts

Our deeds

We would begin

To see

To experience

Through the troubled waters

Of life or our soul

Our true expression

Our true shape and state

Becomes clearer

And then…

Calmness 

Through the clarity

After the storm

I want to stop running

From myself

So I can be free

From the storm within

What if I drown

But what if I don’t

As long as I have Jesus

As my anchor

I cannot sink

With Christ in my vessel

I smile 

With peace

At the storm

via Your Daily Word Prompt – Clarify -September 6, 2019

Christian Musings

Entrepreneurship: The Reality

Hello wonderful people!

Recently I have had a fascination for TED talks on YouTube, and I must say I have learnt a lot, on different topics.

Most recently, I watched a TED on entrepreneurs and the reality they hardly discuss or talk about.

Of course, the speaker is an entrepreneur talking from experience.

He talked about being lonely, depressed and most times flat broke. But when asked by friends and family how his business was going, he said,

“I will grin while gritting my teeth and say, ‘Great!’ “

The word great is usually a cuss word replacement, used mostly when we have put in our best into a project, and something upsets it so much, we might have to start all over again.

And we are already tired.

In the spirit of being positive even when we feel anything but, we throw our arms up and mutter, “Great!” — even when we are swearing on the inside.

Because, the first step into starting a business, or being an entrepreneur — as it’s called these days — that first step is motivation, hence the rise in motivational speaking and speakers.

More than 50% of most seminars are spent on motivational speaking. And what do they talk about? Power of Positive Thinking.

And the Bible says, “As a man thinketh in his heart so is he.”

Of course, you also must talk positive especially when you don’t feel like!

You must think and speak and act positively, especially when things are not going well.

And in the face of disappointment, stress, and possible depression, it is hard.

At some point I ask myself… not at some point.

I have been asking myself, if I’m being positive in my words or am I lying to myself and others?

You are likely to get assistance even if it’s encouragement, when you say things as they are, not as you wish them to be.

For a Christian entrepreneur, it’s harder to be ‘honest‘ with your feeling because, it could mean you don’t have faith.

After all, faith is still evidence of things not seen.

I’m apparently going to ask my pastor the difference between lying and speaking faith. It’s been long overdue.

I don’t know about you, but when I speak faith, I feel like a bloody liar.

And just so you know, I loathe lying and deception in any shape or form.

So imagine how I feel when I say what isn’t true, even when I’m biblically justified.

One one hand, when I’m asked, “How are you?” And I reply in tired exasperation, “Not good!”, I panick that I might have sent back my Angel of blessing, who was about to hand me a reward of faith.

Then I start to ask for forgiveness on unbelief. Praying that God restores what I have lost or what I might have lost as a result of not speaking faith.

On the other hand, when I’m asked, ” So how’s business? “. And I reply, “Great“, haven’t I shot myself in the leg, by saying the opposite of reality?

You know, it’s easy to speak positively when asked about personal matters. After all, you don’t want people knowing how you really are.

But with business, it’s different because, business is not personal!

Business is about serving others goods and services for profit. Nothing personal about that, except for the profit of course, which you wouldn’t be getting, without talking to people about what you are offering.

Saying the opposite of reality, could mean the loss of prospect or a lead, investor, or any other form of assistance.

Because if you’re great, then it could be interpreted as you needing no one for anything, therefore hardly anyone will be offering to help. After all, you are great, right?

So what I sometimes do is say the truth while still speaking faith. Therefore I reply with a prayer.

Something like, ” I’m fine, in Jesus name”

However, God just hinted me now that, in order not to come off sounding like a delusional religious fanatic to people who are not in my faith, I could say something like, “Thank you for asking, I’m praying for better.”

You get the idea?

To a non-christian, prayer is the last resort when you are at the point of giving up.

To them, why pray when you have a brain to think and the ability to work?

I think people will hear what you are not saying or asking, than what you’re saying.

Not to mention, your response being uncommon and unusual.

Its like a verbal business card. It will get people thinking because of your unique choice of words, they won’t be able to forget you easily, because your words left an impression.

They might want to know you better, to hear more from you. They will talk about you to someone else. It could be an, “I met an interesting person today…..”

Even if they don’t need your services at that moment, someone they discussed you with or someone present there might actually need your services and patronise you.

One the most powerful prayers a Christian can pray is,

O God! Give me a mouth and a wisdom, in the name of Jesus Christ. “

You will know, when you say and do the right thing when you don’t know how to respond or what to do.

Shalom🤗