love – Musings of a Sanguine Christian Woman

Christian Musings, Life, Purpose and life's mission, Sanguine thoughts, Singles' issues

Illusions of Womanhood

May 18, 2022Jul 25, 2022 Ade-Oluwa

Hallo Wonderbeau Everyone! I hope it’s well with your soul?

So I am trying to pick off my musings one by one, not because I have more time, but because I am giving up something (my personal care, at the moment) to write. But currently, I will rather write than brush my teeth. Hopefully, that doesn’t become a habit. 😬 😅

I just read another chapter of a novel from from Notes to Women, an author on this platform, gripping stories she writes, I tell you. I stop over at her “place” on this WordPress “Avenue” to read her latest novel updates, before coming “home” to muse.

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Christian Musings, Life, Purpose and life's mission, Sanguine thoughts, Singles' issues

Illusion of Innocence

May 2, 2022May 2, 2022 Ade-Oluwa

This has been a long time coming. But now, I really think I must say something. Perhaps, to prevent women from being with someone who “settled” with them, rather than men who love them deeply and really want to be their husbands — for all it’s worth!

Welcome to a new week and month, Wonderbeau people!!! 🤩

It’s exciting to share my thoughts with you again. This may or may not take a while, but here it goes.

So.

Recently, some beautiful weddings happened! And I was grinning 😀 from ear 👂 to ear 👂.

The women had become legends in their fields. They were beautiful, very successful and famous.

They had also being single for so long.

So for those of us who are fans, their weddings were pleasant surprises.

Then of course, you had the folks who just had to find something unnice to say. Namely, their age.

The unspoken “spell” was that, a highly successful woman is less likely to marry her type, if she ever gets to that point.

By her type, I mean a man within her age group, handsome and as successful/rich, if not more successful or richer than herself.

So these recent celebrity weddings, broke that (damn) “spell”. From all accounts, the men were what some would call “high value men”.

Then it hit me.

If this is happening publicly, then a lot of this must be happening everywhere.

If you haven’t noticed, the “norm” was men married younger women, with lesser achievements and much lesser ambition than the men.

Now, I know there are men who prefer their equals in every sense of the word. However, negative narratives tend to trend more, than the positives.

So I was wondering. Are the men in their 30s and 40s, no longer interested in much younger women? If yes, why?

It’s part of the “whys”, I want to share here.

One of the reasons “some” men go for young things is the promise of innocence — something that is noticeably, conspicuously and painfully absent in today’s 18s to 25yr-olds. But I digress.

Now, females are touted to be more intelligent than males of their age. Few men, can handle that reality. The reality of dating or marrying women smarter than them.

Then there is the issue of, familiarity. Both genders of the same age group know one another too well. So there’s no room to sow any wild oats among your “classmates” because, you will not get away with it. We know the hands they are about to deal, before they even lift their hands.

Guess the female classmates know too much, so the males decided to go younger in their dating choices.

Younger women tend to hero worship older men. When I was 15, I had a wish to date a 30 year old man, because he will be more matured, more responsible, less of a playboy and ready to get married.

Now am I glad, that wish never came true. Because I probably would have been played, by a man or men, whose tricks are totally unfamiliar to me, but completely familiar with women their age.

This is why players and egoistic men go for young women. Just as men have the advantage of innocence and naivety of the young women on their side, the young women have the illusion that older men have the means and maturity to make their romantic wishes of happily-ever-after, come true.

Younger women were the clay and the older men were the potters. A lot of this relationships worked because one was the revered “lord of the Manor” while the other was the starry-eyed “student” whose “professor” could do no wrong.

Then things changed. There were a lot more Amber Heard-y younger women, than the gentle, “Yes m’lord” younger women. And men with strict preferences for younger women began to panic. Because some of them have already been in Johnny Depp shoes. Those who haven’t, are watching what is happening or they have friends who have been abused by some cute younger women.

And now, the men are beginning to see their female equals with new eyes. Women they have once scorned for being too much. Too opinionated, too competitive(successful), too “feminist”(not wanting to be subject), too rich, too high maintenance (has good taste), too “old”, and so on.

This must be an epiphany for men, who want younger women for the wrong reasons. They are being served, and they don’t like the meal. The innocence is gone. Their mates seem more innocent than the younger women who “served” them in ways they didn’t bargain for.

Now, I am miffed. Because I was beginning to fantasise about marrying a younger man. Yes. And why not? Priyanka Chopra and Meghan Markle are a bit older in age than their husbands, so what the heck?

Ironic, how both Priyanka and Meghan had a lot of bad press. I wonder why. One can only hope, it wasn’t because they “dared” to marry rich eligible bachelors who are younger than them! One can only hope. But even if it was. Millennial women grow more beautiful but “thicker” skin as they age. So what’s “bad press” gotta do with it?

Now that our classmates seem to be coming home to roost, I think we would like to know where the “hey” they have been. Because, they are not getting any welcome anything from me.

If you’re going to consider your “classmates” make sure it’s not one of those who had scorned you and gone after your younger sisters’ classmates.

You deserve better than a “burnt-out dude”. You didn’t wait this long to have the “left overs” of your younger ones. That is a humongous insult, upon monumental injury.

Do. Not. Settle. With. Anyone, who didn’t see you as a first option.

You have come this far. Pray that God connects you with the right man who will see you as all he’s ever wanted and all he will ever want, in a loving and cherishing way.

I know the wait has been long. But hold on. Don’t give up. Don’t compromise. Don’t settle with less.

Believe and trust God for the best, and God in His mercy will fulfill the good desires of our hearts in accordance to His will, in the might name of Jesus Christ.

Hold on…Your full scale laughter is closer to you than you think. Stay close to God and hold your peace. 🌺💐🍇

Stories

Chronicles of the Crown: A Husband’s Appeal.

Feb 13, 2022 Ade-Oluwa

“I’m sorry, Indira”, King Sergie said with remorse, as he exerted his muscles in trying to hold open the door his wife was trying to shut in his face.

Indira glowered at him. Of recent, her loving husband had capriciously shut her out!

“Unhand this door, your Highness“, Indira fumed.

“Pray, allow me explain, Indira.”

Weekend Writing Prompt #248 – Capricious

Christian Musings, Life, Parenting Series, Purpose and life's mission, Singles' issues, Stories

Mama’s Advise

Apr 3, 2021Apr 3, 2021 Ade-Oluwa

“Careful. Don’t catch feelings.” Iré cautioned her daughter.

Emira chuckled. “Feelings aren’t the virus, mama.”

“Don’t be absurd. You know darned well what I’m talking about.” Iré huffed.

Emira sighed.

“Remember, how important your faith is to you. That alone is a deal, marriage, and heart breaker. Unless he’s a Biblical Christian, what brought you together will not hold you together.”

Weekend Writing Prompt #203 – Absurd

Stories

Mesmerising Vista

Mar 14, 2021 Ade-Oluwa

The King watched with unveiled passion, the enchanting vista of his queen Indira, belly dancing for him to the music she made from shaking her bangles, anklets, hip belt…