Business/Career, Christian Musings, Parenting Series, Purpose and life's mission, Sanguine thoughts

Entrepreneurship: Why?

Hello WondeBeau People!

It’s been long since I have been here — and I know I say that all the time or at least most of the time, so please bear with me. 

Starting a business is very trendy, especially in this fast and sometimes jaw-dropping millennium we find ourselves.

If you are not starting a business, you are mostly seen and regarded as a “lazy coward” — which I must say isn’t mostly true

Starting a business is more in vogue than anything the fashion plate has to offer. Infact, owning a business is the fashion plate.  



I think the — permit me to use this word — craze for owning a business stems from the wanting to be independent, or rather the declaration of independence.

After all, if you start a business, it’s a serious and responsible thing you are doing. And people will commend your folks on how well they’ve raised you, for you to venture out on your own. Even if your folks are unsure of what you’re about but they have a pretty good idea why you are about it, they will be forced to half-heartedly acknowledge that you are indeed doing something noteworthy. But…

I must say, that’s probably the most inspiring trend that has come out of this generation. I mean you can’t really blame our parents for being sceptical.

Their child who has always been getting into one scrap or the other, with parents having to clean up after them, wondering what on earth they’ve done to deserve their ordeal. And half wondering if their past — whatever that may have been — is demanding payment from them through their carefree juvenile of a child.

Then all of a sudden, the child who probably is now a teen or young adult becomes serious — way too serious for comfort and the parents are thinking, “Here we go again!”

Here they are, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Next thing is, “I want to start this business…”

And they’re thinking, “What now. Is s/he doing drugs?

Then they find out — in most cases — that their children has indeed found his/her legal genius. There was never a time they thought their children weren’t geniuses. They simply were geniuses in the wrong.

So most of the time startups had to get support from self and maybe later from the government or NGOs that support new business ventures.

It’s trilling to say, I’m an entrepreneur. Or I’m self-employed.

What does it mean? And most importantly what does it take be an entrepreneur?

Sometimes, starting a business is an avenue to vent your spleen, to release your pent up emotions or to release something that had been suppressed. To show those who think you are nobody, that you will be somebody.

I think that’s a fantastic productive way of fighting the demons — as long as you don’t run out of steam. Or you have plans on how to continue when you run out of steam.

There’s something about starting a business that exposes your weaknesses and flaws.

You need to know how to manage yourself before you can effectively and efficiently manage a business.

Earlier I was presented a question on: How do you define self-management as a lady? (even auto correct is wondering ‘what da hey?’)

Apparently this was asked in a job interview (phenomenal).

I didn’t know how to answer that question because I wasn’t familiar with that word. 

I could have responded by saying, ‘the ability to manage yourself’ and that would have been too cheeky of me. So as I usually handled things I didn’t understand, I shelved it.

The first thing that came to mind was organisation. Being able to coordinate yourself in an organised manner in a way that enhances productivity — no matter what you might be going through and irrespective of your stress level.

Now, it would be nice if that describes me, but it doesn’t — at the moment.

I express how I feel, I don’t manage it — though I’m trying to. 

Now I suspect that if you’re been asked that question in an interview, they want to find out if you can keep your personal life personal, without allowing it spill into your work life, thereby affecting how productive you are. Never crack, or fall apart no matter what. 

In other words, self-management involves your health: Taking sick leave or being physically sluggish at work, could probably be defined by the employer as, not being able to manage your health, thereby affecting your work!

If one has family problems and becomes distracted and lethargic at work, that may be defined as: being unable to control your emotions making logic and reason difficult in the work place!

If you just had your baby (congratulations!) and you need ma/paternity leave and/or extra breaks during work to take care of yourself and your babies, then you may be termed as: being unable to separate work from family/personal matters thereby reducing productivity in the work place!

In other words, whatever keeps you from giving your 100% at work is no business of the company.

What they are asking is, can you keep working per demand irrespective of what may or may not be going on in your life?

I may be overthinking things of course, but I can’t help but think this is a trick question meant to qualify, disqualify or trap an unsuspecting applicant. By the time the would-be employee knows what this is or may be about, it would have been too late to have a say in the matter.

I mean, self-management?! Come on.

Which is probably one of the major reasons why people are overcoming their fear of starting businesses and launching into the world of entrepreneurship, head first.

The other option is becoming less and less of an option. Working for someone else is becoming more unconducive by the day. Some are fortunate to work with companies who are humane and truly care for the overall well-being of their staff, but many don’t have that fortune.

The code word for this millennium is freedom. Having your own business, seems to be the only way to gain your financial independence, while maintaining your freedom of what, when and how you compromise…..

Shalom! 

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Christian Musings, Purpose and life's mission

Crown of Thorns

Hello WonderBeau People.🤗

I’m thrilled to be here. Especially soon after the last post. That is exciting!

I guess I’m beginning to develop a good habit. Keep it up, Girl! I believe high-fiving meself is in order.🙌

The day before, I was musing about how all women are queens, whether they are coronated or not.

However, at different stages in a woman’s life, she wears different types of 👑 crowns.

In case we are not aware, life is beautiful only when we realize life is a battle.

Therefore we must develop a fighting spirit that will enable us to demand our fair share from life because life isn’t fair.

Back to crowns.

When a woman is going through deep-seated pain, that seems too deep to be reached or expressed — not unlike a persistent under skin itch, feeling it but unable to reach it — it affects every area of her life.

Emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, there might be instability or restlessness and it’s likely she develops a bad habit in the midst of all that helpless pain.

A bad habit as a coping mechanism, like temporarily inflicting pain to distract from the existing pain — more like digging underneath one’s feet.

Rumour has it that crowns have some point like teeth in them, that pricks the head of the wearer, so as to remind the crowned of their responsibilities.

That may have something to do with the saying:

Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown.

Of course, if it was smooth on the inside, the crown is likely to slip off at every slight movement.

So I’m also assuming that the teeth in the crown anchor it to the head more firmly.

Apparently, there’s always a discomfort to wearing a crown, no matter how rare, expensive or beautiful it is.

The teeth in a beautiful crown may not be that different from wearing a crown of thorns.

Makes me wonder if there’s a difference between a crown of thorns and a crown with thorns.

Adversity leads to advancement, more often than not.

Jesus Christ was and still is the Word. According to John chapter 1:

1. In the beginning, was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God

2. The same was at the beginning with God

2. All things were made by him, and without him was not anything made that was made.

Had all that prestige, but for him to be the Messiah king he had to live, feel and die like a common man.

For you to lead, you need to feel and live like those you plan to lead. That’s primarily training for leadership.

Jesus Christ became the name above all other names that at the name of Jesus every knee must bow. Of things in heaven, on things in earth and underneath the earth. And that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory of God the Father.

Because Jesus lived among men, he understood what we need to survive in the battlefield of life.

Therefore according to Luke 10:19, Jesus gave us power that nothing shall by any means hurt us.

Everything he suffered was so that through his suffering we might have life abundantly.

The crown of thorns comes before the crown of glory. Otherwise, we are most likely to abuse the power and authority that comes with the crown of glory.

I think the reason great empires fell, was because those at the helm of affairs ruled rather than lead. Therefore they refused to give power to the people. As soon as they fell the power of the empire fell with them.

However, if they had worn the crown of thorns before wearing the crown of glory, they would have understood that the people are the true custodians of power.

There family businesses — especially the ones who are past their 100th birthday– who would name the new CEO or chairperson only after the candidate has successfully worked his/her way up starting from the gate-person, through all the various departments and sections of the company. And maybe that’s why such businesses have not only outlived their founders, they have become greater with each generation.

Some of these companies also have employees whose grandparents had not only worked in the same company but also own shares in the company.

Now if the kings and emperors of times past, had understood, that to live forever, long after they are gone, they had to hand power to the people. And that power will have multiplied in different forms among all the people, then they would have had a history, rather than becoming history — lost in the sands of time

Because Jesus Christ gave us power, now he lives and reigns forever on earth and in our hearts.

Maybe attempts had been made in times past to wipe out Christiandom. But all they succeeded in doing was to make the Gospel of Jesus spread faster.

Now we have the centuries counted as B.C. {Before Christ} and A.D. (After the death of Christ, who is now risen in glory).

There’s a lot to be learnt from Jesus Christ, only if we can open our hearts to him.

Shalom.💚

Note: I wrote this in instalments on different days.

Christian Musings, Movies and lessons learnt

Courage for Today.

Hi Beautiful People.

I feel tired and overwhelmed and restless.

I feel tired of being too tired to be who I wanted to be — who I want to be.

Having plans sometimes is like setting oneself up to fail.

I mean tell me:

What do I do when I make plans and things don’t fall into place because the obstacles were much?

Well, I reverted back to prayers.

Of course, I have always prayed. But there’s praying and there’s praying.

There’s praying in your head and there’s my-heart-is-bleeding-I-can’t-take-this-anymore praying.

Praying with a bleeding heart, is like trying to burst a boil at maturity. It’s painful to touch, much less squeeze and it throbs painfully without being touched.

To leave it on it’s own is not an option, because the pain increases to the point of insomnia.

So you have to clench your teeth against the pain and burst the boil. Once you do, you feel better and relieved.

Sometimes until the pain of where we are stuck in, is greater than the pain of breaking free, we might not pursue true liberty –Paraphrased from the novel “The Last Ten Percent” by Michelle McKinney Hammond

Breaking free can be a Herculean task, but it’s not impossible.

Speaking of Herculean tasks, I recall — not that I have been able to forget — the movie “Hercules” whose lead actor is Dwayne Johnson (I think I might watch it again).

I don’t know if I have written this before, but I believe Dwayne found his true calling in acting. He may have wanted to be a sports man, but his size and skills makes him a better actor as warrior in period/medieval movies.

Back to Hercules.

There are lots of lessons to glean from the movie, but the one that relates most to this particular “muse-ticle” on the issue of pain, is best described by my latest finding on this popular quote:

What doesn’t kill you……

Had. Better. Run!!!!

If you are going through pain I recommend Hercules the movie, featuring Dwayne Johnson — I had to add that, because I don’t know if there are other movie versions.

Hercules had lost enough to kill a man, but when he found the truth about his painful past under …less than congenial circumstances, the truth set him free. And in setting himself free others also gained their freedom right along with him.

No wonder, Jesus Christ said and I quote:

Ye shall know the truth and the truth will make you free.

End quote.

A pastor recently said the word make in that scripture is deliberate and has it’s meaning to the text, but we will talk about that in other muse-letters.

Hercules was legendary for his brute strength and his long strings of victory, but he was running away from a memory.

Which brings me to another point:

To be free from a pain you must gather the courage exclusive for it, because you can’t borrow courage from another experience or victory. You need to begin courage or encourage yourself all over again. Therefore, courage is exclusive.

That’s why we see that many of us are fearless in so many aspects, yet have deep seated phobias in one or more areas of our lives. Phobias we choose to ignore, but they are there waiting — waiting to spring unpleasant surprises on us in our most vulnerable moments.

I wish courage was all encompassing. I really do, because it makes the business of living much easier.

But unfortunately or fortunately, depending on how you see it, courage or encouragement does not work that. And I’m learning that the hard way.

This reminds me of the prophet Elijah — the prophet who called down fire more than once in his day. The prophet who never tasted death. Went straight to heaven alive in heavenly escort of horses and chariots of fire.

I mean, that was some serious wonderment that amazes me every time I think about it.

Yet, the same man who stopped rain and called it down when it suited him. Who escaped arrest many times just by disappearing and appearing wherever and whenever he wanted;

Ran away….. ran away, when a witch threatened him!

Some say God had to call him home earlier than planned, because he allowed himself to be frightened by something less than what he had crushed in the past.

The explanation I have for that is: his courage failed him or he lost courage.

This leads me to believe that courage is food we need to injest daily, to be able to withstand unforseen threats that may distabilize us.

Courage is food we need to learn how to feed ourselves with i.e personal encouragement.

We can’t leave our encouragement in the hands of others. Because it’s not always, we can have someone around us to encourage us. Like Dwayne Johnson’s character in Hercules had.

When we depend on yesterday’s meal to sustain us, we would soon faint.

The same applies to courage.

Shalom🌿💚🌴

Christian Musings

101 Posts on WordPress

Hello Beautiful People!

How’s life?

When I saw in my notification box that I have 100 posts, I looked back at when wordpress was like an exclusive club of intelligent people and I wished I was part of them.

Well, I am now — sort of. But it’s not such a mirage anymore.

I never liked writing, but I loved to read and talk. Well, it’s actually read or talk. If I wasn’t reading, I was talking.

Now I don’t have much opportunities to talk. Because well, to talk, you actually need someone who is willing to listen.

I don’t have that, always. I understand. Everyone has their lives to live. But it doesn’t solve my need to be heard, so what to do?

Then I hardly go out. So I don’t have many opportunities to reach out to those who want to listen.

So I was stuck with entertaining myself with reading and watching fiction — sometimes non-fiction.

I felt so lonely and sometimes when I was so stressed and tired, I felt unloved.

I hear people say things like, “You need to get off social media and connect to ‘real’ people!”

Then I thought, are they saying people on social media are fake, as in ‘unreal’?

I didn’t believe that, of course. Because before social media we have heard of, met or even connected with fake people that some of us began to wonder if we or the ‘fakees’ are the aliens.

Either we were the humans in a fake planet or we were the aliens who dropped in a strange human world.

Therefore blaming the internet for the emergence of unreal people, is just ridiculous.

Another thing is, what if you have tried to connect with people physically and it didn’t work? What do you do then? You find other ways to connect with people. And the internet is the ‘place’ for that.

The internet had provided outlets for me. I have ‘met’ interesting people from different places.

And we have connected in ways I can’t even connect with my folks.

I suppose being anonymous or ‘far away’ helps you unwind, relax and open up.

I still haven’t found that person or group of people I can call my tribe, but I’m not lonely again.

Thanks mostly to God for giving me outlets to express myself in writing, fashion, reading, praying, singing and so on.

Writing is the one that surprises me the most.

I thought you simply had to love writing and be a genius to be a writer.

I have learnt that sometimes you just had to be yourself to be a writer.

You just have to be tired of silence, to be tired of hearing yourself speak, to be a writer.

If you have a journal or diary then you are a writer.

Your life is more than enough to write about — no matter how boring you think it is.

Forget about whether you can be articulate in writing.

Forget about not knowing how to put the right words together.

Forget about who would or wouldn’t like what you want to write.

If you want to write, then you must write. Period. No what ifs.

I took the courage to let my thoughts find expression, and I’m loving it.

I have lots to write about, but I’m thankful for what I can write, when I can write. It’s far better than not writing at all.

I still don’t like to write, but I love how writing makes me feel : Free, Unburdened, Unfettered, Unchain.

I think everyone should be a writer in whatever way you choose to.

This writing journey has encouraged and enboldened me to try out other things I don’t feel I can do, but I think I can do, or I want to do.

In fact, I’m at risk of adding too much to my plate of activities.

I restraining myself a bit, to focus, master and enjoy all I’m doing presently — one major endeavour at a time.

There’s no need to stress myself out.

Focus,

De-stress,

Stay calm,

Stay rapturable.

Be blessed. Shalom.🌿🌴💚

Christian Musings, Life, Purpose and life's mission, Sanguine thoughts

Delayed? 

In one of my previous posts, I talked about getting older and age being, not just a number.

Since belated is used with birthdays, I decided to talk about birthdays — that was until I checked the definition and I was embarrassed at how I have abused that word.

It means “delayed”.

So all the times I thought I was doing something extra by adding belated to birthday 🎊 messages, I have in essence being saying “Happy delayed birthday?!😳🙄

I know I’m a character. But this? I don’t know what to think. (Lord, let it not be aging. Amen. )

In my defence though, belated sounds cute. Like an extra, double whammy happy, to a birthday.

Speaking of birthdays. Having birthdays was fun, when we were adolescents and early teens.

We couldn’t wait to be grownups. Now we are, and some of us wish we weren’t. Because there are lots of things that are still belated, in goals and achievements.

Some of us could do without the reminder of one more year gone by, without something befitting our age, to boast of.

Quite disheartening.

I felt bad when someone asked me when, I was going to have a birthday party. I felt bad but I tried to laugh it off. I spoke a word of faith concerning the matter. And I’m believing God for a miracle.

What are your delays and what are you doing about them?

One of mine is using this blog as my voice, since I don’t seem to have many people seeking my opinion. I wish I had began earlier.

So many things that could have been done earlier, but haven’t began.

But with God nothing shall be impossible.

I believe that word.

Shalom. 🌎

via Your Daily Word Prompt – Belated – August 6th, 2018

Christian Musings

Sea Sick, Land Love! 

“Very well, my little cherry. If I tell you a story will you allow me to rest?” Empress Indira wearily asked her barely one year old plump and sassy princess.

The only response she got was more bouncy squeals of delight.

Indira laughed inspite herself. She was tired. Being the ruler queen of one kingdom and the queen wife of an emperor, was tasking — if one took one’s responsibilities seriously, that is.

Presently, her little one was gnawing at the emerald on her veil.

She sighed. She should have known that when BrunFreid was quiet, she was up to something.

Just as she was about to scold the little princess, her princess cousin wandered in.

Her beautiful cousin — who has spent most of her life touring the world on business — prefered the sea to land, hence her interest in any family affair that involves travelling on water. Which is why she was surprised by her cousin’s visit to her new home.

‘Greetings Brunnie, enjoying a late evening repast? Emerald? Only the best for her little highness’, Indira’s cousin teased.

‘Her name is BrunFreid, MayRose.’, Indira corrected.

‘But what sort of name is that?’

“It’s the name given her by her parents — coined from her parents’ names — when they gifted her to me to raise and to comfort me after Carlos’ death…. You already know the story.”

“Aye. But I find it hard to understand why a mother will give up her child. Especially when she’s a warrior queen with a warrior king as husband.”,  MayRose wondered as she tried to pull the emerald from Brunnie’s stubborn gums.

“I suspect it’s gratitude for helping them secure their relationship and to secure the heiress-apparent to the thrones, if her parents can’t manage to give her siblings to share the burden of kingdom leadership”, Indira mused as her daughter protested the lose of her gums’ gem, while MayRose cheered in victory.

“You are hopeless, May“, Indira chuckled.

“Since when did it become hopeless to cheer in victory?” May asked with a straight face.

“Since when the conquered is a child” Indira replied.

The cousins burst into giggles. As the conquered tried to take a stand, while her nursemaid hovered near by.

“Tell me, about your travels, May.”

“It’s being an adventure. Too much of it, I fear. For I’m sea weary at the moment. The storms — praying your ship does not fall apart.” May paused as she took a healthy drink of fruit juice.

“The good side of it is the feeling you get at sea, like you have a different world all to yourself. A sense of freedom. Then when you dock, the feeling of mingling with different kinds of people with languages and cultures different from yours”, May thought aloud.

“How is the emperor with Brun, I’ra?”

“Those two? They like each other. He likes children and she thinks he’s the best thing after her favourite fruit. She’s grins at him everytime.”

“You jest.” May said in amazement.

“Indeed not”

“Intriguing. What about you?” May queried seriously.

What about me?” Indira wondered.

“Aye You. Madame Queen. Do you like your husband?” May persisted.

“Yes.” Indira replied a bit shyly.

“Hmmm. And what do you intend to do about it?” May queried.

“Nothing really. Except take my time and let our relationship grow naturally”, Indira mused.

“So, what do you think of my brother-in-law?”, The Empress asked as she recalled how smitten the king — ruling with his emperor brother  — was of her cousin when she arrived.

“Nothing”, drawled May hesitantly as she wondered were Indira was headed with her line of questioning.

“Well, I was wondering since you are sea sick, you might consider him as someone you could start a family with”, Indira suggested.

“You don’t say, Malika”, May drawled as her eyes lightened with amused understanding.

“And what happens to him when I get land sick?”, May asked in rhetoric.

Indira didn’t know how to respond to that. She simply worried if her cousin will ever settle in love.

She looked into her cousin’s jade eyes, conveying her thoughts and her cousin looked back at her with an answering thought,

“Soon my friend. I will consider him. But like you, If it is to be, it has to be natural and I will not  be hastened.”

“Well, I found this cobbled walk-way beside the sea, I think we should all take a walk.” Princess MayRose suggest as she got up and adjusted her hooded bejewelled dress.

“Excellent. It would seem you have been spying on my husband’s lands”, Indira teased as she pulled her veil over her face in preparation to leave her palace. She had to. This was not her father’s kingdom where it was forbidden to look at the women of the royal family. Here the high ranking officers could look, and she did not like the way some of them gawked at her. Hence, the veil.

“I was touring, not spying. There is a distinct difference, I believe”, May replied as she walked with her cousin while the Empress entourage preceded and followed in orderly procession.

A clash of steel sounded ahead as spears were crossed to stop an orderly from moving any further towards the procession.

Her head maid approached, bowed and said, “A message from His Highness, my Queen.”

“Tell the orderly to approach and tell me the message”,  Empress Indira ordered.

“My Queen, His Highness requests your presence at the cobbled walkway beside the sea, if you desire to see the shipment you requested as they are unloaded”, the orderly said with head bowed.

“Is my lord Emperor there?” Indira asked.

“Yes indeed, your Highness”, replied the orderly.

“Very well. Tell my lord, I’m on my way there, and I would very much like to see the cargo.” replied the Empress.

“Yes, your Highness” the orderly said as he ran towards his horse and rode off.

“Perfect timing, I must say, cousin.” May said.

“Indeed, May” Indira replied with a bit of excitement.

Because she was adamant to walk on her own feet, it took a bit of time to get there.

It looked quite foggy over the endless looking sea. Walking on the cobblestone felt like she was walking on a ship. Another thinking spot, Indira thought.

Or meeting spot, as she sighted her husband around the descending curve leading to the shore.

“Greetings, my fair queen” Her husband said as he smiled and greeted with a slight bow.

“Greetings, my king. Your day faired well I hope? ” Indira said with a smile.

“My day fairs much better after seeing you”, The Emperor replied as he gazed into his wife’s eyes.

MayRose gave a delicate snort of amusement, as she witnessed the interaction between her cousin and her husband.

The Emperor glanced her way, gave a slight bow and said,

“Greetings, Princess. I hope you are already enjoying your stay here?”

“I am. Thank you, your Highness. I’m honoured by your hospitality”, May replied with a slight bow of her own.

The Emperor smiled with a, “Shall we? ”

“Aye”, the cousins replied in unison and smiled at each other as they walked excitedly the surprisingly beautiful shore towards the boxed treasures of far off lands being delivered on the shore.
https://scvincent.com/2018/07/19/thursday-photo-prompt-summit-writephoto/  #writephoto

Christian Musings, Life

Interdependence

There’s an African proverb that says, “A lone 🌲 tree cannot make a forest.”

This talks about a unity of purpose, to make things happen.

It’s often said, that no one is an island. We are not created to stand alone in everything. We’re made to collaborate, to form relationships.

Life is about collaboration. You can buy, only because someone is selling. You have shelter because someone was willing to build. You have a business because someone needs your services and is willing to patronise you. You have a job because someone needs your skills and is willing to hire you. You need others and others need you as well. It is co-dependence and inter-dependence. No one can truly do anything, all by themselves. We’re not just built that way.

Life is meant to be shared, and there’s love in sharing.

Does that mean we should hitch our wagon to just anyone’s?

No, of course not.

But we should not make the mistake of going the high road of not needing anybody. We can choose who to associate with. We simply have to choose wisely. We need to choose people who can help us grow and who we can help grow. That’s how a forest works.

Choosing the wrong company or choosing to remain in wrong company is like, trying to grow under a huge tree. The huge tree might seem like a shield from the harsh realities of life, but in the real sense, its preventing the trees under it from getting adequate nutrition directly from the elements, for proper growth. Neither will they have deep roots, because the roots of the huge tree will not only absorb most of the earth’s nutrients, but it will not give space for any tree under it or it’s immediate environs to take root.

Have you ever seen a tree growing under a huge tree, become as big as that tree? Trees growing under huge trees are limited to living in the shadows of the huge tree.

There’s a time to “get thee out from among them”, so that you can grow to your highest potential. But you still need thr right people to make that happen.

However, don’t let the absence of help or assistance stop you from venturing out on your own. It only takes one step of faith at a time. It is well.

Shalom. 🌎

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/forest/

Christian Musings, Life, Purpose and life's mission, Sanguine thoughts

Mentor

Wow!

Mentor!

I find that word scary, actually. I mean, I understand it’s importance in life and development. But I will like to say, mentoring is not for everyone. Especially, if you are not confident enough to know your mind and do what you believe is right, when everyone — including your mentor — sees what you plan on doing as mission impossible.

I’m very touchy about someone telling me what I must do. I find the ‘must do’ vibe, a bit controlling and maybe manipulative.

Feel free to correct me, if you believe I don’t know what the heck I’m talking about.

I think a mentor should be like a psychologist. Listening, giving gentle prompts until you find the answer yourself. A guide, a friend.

Mentor sounds to me like lecturer, as opposed to compassionate teacher, who helps you understand and apply what you understand.

Interestingly, the dictionary meaning of mentor are: guide, advisor, teacher, counsellor. So why am I opposed to it?

Well, I think it’s probably because I haven’t met the right person or I’m not disciplined enough to handle the position of a mentee. I have had few admirable big-sister kind of women come into my life, but I end up pushing them away or avoiding them.

For one, they end up giving me assignments. Very good thing. But I don’t like assignments, because of the time limit attached to it. So I end up running away. I can’t help but feel bad about all the other reasons I don’t have a mentor or an active mentor. I prefer to use the word friend than mentor. The tone and vibe I get from the word mentor sounds like sitting in a stifling classroom, getting stiff instructions and ultimatums to either shape up or be punished.

What a mentor really means is part of my definition of friendship.

So I think I will settle with friendship.

With a wry smile on my face, it just occurred to me that maybe the reason, why I have had a hard time finding and keeping friends, is because I was seeking mentorship in friendship.

I’m beginning to understand why having a friend seemed like a tall order. But in my defence, I was mentoring those I thought were my friends; even if I didn’t know, that was what I was doing. I thought I was advising them. They probably ran away from me, because of my advice.

But is there something wrong with guiding, advising, counselling someone you care for and expecting the same in return?

Am I confused or expecting too much?

Shalom 🌿

via Mentor

Christian Musings, Purpose and life's mission, Sanguine thoughts

Highs ‘n’ Lows

Hello Beautiful people 🤗 I got carried away by the surge of activities that, I only just got the chance to write, even though the tide is low now — meaning I’m oh so sleepy.

I 🤔 think part of being a sanguine, is being tidal, which means we could be extremists more often than we care to count.

I have always been a bit too controlled by emotions and feelings. Most times, I don’t do what is needed to be done because I don’t ‘feel‘ like it. But I’m learning that being a woman-adult entails, doing what I ought to be doing when and how it ought to be done. As opposed to doing things when and how I want or feel like.

It’s not easy, I tell you — to go against your feelings everyday. It’s a tug of war between my wants and right things to do. It’s so exhausting and tiring, that I end up going with my feelings most times. Unhealthy, I know. But I’m taking baby steps.

Whenever I have this surge of energy or emotions, I cut through my to-do list like hot knife through butter. But when the tide decreases, I have to force myself to work.

Feelings, emotions, among other things are tidal, which is why purpose, aspirations and goals are very important. Without aspirations, goals and purpose, we just get carried away with the tides of emotions, that more often than not, leads to nowhere. Purpose helps us control emotions. Passion in purpose overpower anything that may stand in it’s way.

I have learnt to take advantage of my tides and actually preempt it and plan for it. I use the surges in my life to get things done. Kinda like using the temporary light, that the fireworks 🎆 provides, for something memorable before the sparks evaporate.

I embrace my tides, but I’m working on controlling them.

When the tides are low, I ignite passion of purpose, to propel me forward. I choose to do the urgent and important things during the lows.

I do the important but not urgent projects when the tides are high. I get things done better and faster.

All these comes from understanding myself, loving and accepting who I’m; learning more about me and working towards a better edition of myself, on a regular basis. It’s an adventurous journey, because you never really know what the unpredictable nature of life, will show you about yourself.

So many people fall apart, because they think self discovery is a destination and once they know enough about themselves to be successful in their endeavours, they believe that’s all there is to it. Then the changes of life happens and they react in a way, they feel is alien to their nature. They could go into denial about it, but eventually they are like, “I don’t recognise myself anymore.” But the truth is, they never fully understood the depth of their being. Nor did they understand that, there will always be more to them than what they think they know.

Understanding that self discovery is a learning process, humbles us. Because we never know, whether what we will find about ourselves, will be pleasant or unpleasant. This also makes us more tolerant, understanding, loving; less judgemental and legalistic towards others. Why? Because when we react negatively in future about…whatever, we need to be loved through the process of revising ourselves to a more positive reaction.

How do you handle your tidal feelings?

Shalom. 🌎

 

via Tide