Christian Musings, Life, Purpose and life's mission

Survive and Thrive: The New Resolve…

Happy New Year to you wherever you are!

I know many of us entered this year with tentative hope that there will be a break from last year’s happenings. As we try not to think that the other shoe might drop.

Ironic how many are just grateful they made it. So grateful in fact, that I haven’t heard the popular narratives of “New Year Resolutions”.

Maybe because, people just want a break. And you don’t need a special list for that.

I think people have also come to learn the hard way, that plans can fail, in the most unexpected way anyone can imagine.

I guess, it’s safe to assume that the plan for this year is one word : Survive.

I feel, should anyone mention New Year Resolution, people might actually recoil in angry fear.

This wasn’t the case, for many years until last year’s events reset everything.

It was fashionable to talk about Resolutions as one year closes and another begins.

Now, New Year Resolution is the new elephant in the room, threatening the tentative peace of many. How times have changed!

I will like to say, for many, we have learnt…well, re-learnt honesty, empathy, careful living — rather than the carefree exuberance that has plagued humanity for so long.

I suspect, that we are in some sort of purgatory, naughty corner and whatever it is called in High School.

And until, we get our acts together and acknowledge God as our God and seek righteousness, many will stay in that naughty corner.

The earlier you are repentant the sooner you are released from the naughty corner, leaving behind those who stubbornly want to hold on to there selfish careless inclination to life.

Just in case you’re wondering what the naughty corner is; it’s the virus with it’s different strains and no globally acceptable cure in sight. Rather, vaccines whose side effects make you wonder if there’s any difference between the virus and the vaccine.

If I were you, I would just healthily eat my way into an immune system boost. Further research, in this way of thought will show you what I believe are preventive measures to take.

However, if you trust what organisations of the world are saying than what is right in front of you, then once again, you won’t see nutrition as the way out. Because, it’s not globally recognised.

Well, pray without ceasing. Seek God’s presence and live according to God’s standard. If you still think you don’t have to do that, you have no idea how alone you are.

If you really want to survive and thrive, the Living God through Jesus Christ is the Answer for you and the world today.

Once again, Happy New Year!

January 2021 Writing Prompts
Life, Movies and lessons learnt, Stories

Chronicles of the Crown: The Proposal

“My Lord! I have something of importance to discuss with you”, Empress Indira said almost breathlessly, as she more or less flew into her husband’s rooms.

The emperor who was ready to explode at the reports his closest chiefs were relating to him, calmed considerably at his lovely queen’s voice.

The chiefs who had been fidgeting before, gave a collective but discreet sigh of relief.

 For one, the tense secret meeting was becoming almost unbearable. The emperor was upset — and rightly so. The news wasn’t good news. And they sure weren’t happy about the news, not to mention having the unenviable job of relating it to his Highness. The queen bursting in, was life saving indeed — even if that was out of character.

For two, no matter what the naysayers had to say, Queen Indira was the best thing to happen to the Emperor — and the empire — as far as they were concerned. 

She had a positive influence on the empire and a pleasant effect on the Emperor. Of course the naysayers wouldn’t like her. They had little excuse to overthrow the man. She had done a lot to endear the people to their king.

“You may be excused”, the emperor said to his chiefs, with a slight trace of amusement at his queen’s unusual entrance. 

He can imagine how their daughter will be like — when his queen will allow him to be that close to her for a daughter to be born — fierce and unpredictable, among other things.

He should be concerned because his Indira was usually calm and hardly ruffled. That she bursted into his rooms — of all places — gave him secret delight. That she almost shouted was quite interesting indeed. That she came to him with her concerns, made him feel capable and strong. After all she had been a queen managing her own kingdom before he married her.

The chiefs bowed slightly to him, and gave his queen a respectful bow on their way out, which she returned with an equally respectful nod. 

He looked at her closely. She was unveiled! Her hair was mostly covered, but she always covered her face anytime she was in public. Interesting. 

Not that he blamed her. Some of the men in the kingdom had been openly gawking at her, when she arrived as his new queen few moons back. When he had asked why she began veiling herself, she had told him she didn’t like how some of the men looked at her. Well, he didn’t either, but he would never have veiled her. He would have found a way, to handle the situation. She insisted she wanted to veil herself and he respected her wish.

She was wearing a lovely green dress, white linen veil trimmed with golden thread and yellow stones.

And he liked green.

“Have a sit, my Sweet. While you tell me who dared to trouble my queen”, he said as he guided her to a white and gold couch that could easily sit four people.

She smiled. He had always had a way of making her smile or laugh. As he sat at the other end of the couch in his white and gold apparel, he looked very angelic, which further relaxed her as she told him about her estranged cousin’s trouble.

“Please my Lord. Help me find him and extend a hand of friendship to him”, she concluded.

“There’s more, isn’t there?”

She was a bit surprised at his intuition.

“Well yes, it’s a suggestion and a favour I want to ask of you”

“I’m listening”

“Could you please have him wed your sister? I know it might be too much of me to ask. And I don’t want it to seem like I’m taking your generosity for granted, my lord. But my brother needs someone to care and look out for. A good reason to settle and make good use of his talents. He a very good man, a seasoned warrior, loyal, well educated, honest and honourable. You remind me of him, because you two have so much in common. I can vouch for him. He will treat your sister well. Not just because of who she is, but because he has the qualities of a great husband. Your sister will grow and blossom with his care. Your sister needs someone who is gentle, loving and strong. Someone strong enough to protect her, and what is hers, but will not bully her, or abuse the privileges. That someone — if I may be so bold, your Highness — is my brother.”

As she concluded she held her breathe praying he would agree. 

She had come to love her sister-in-law as if she were one of her own sisters. She was gentle, humble, bubbly and delicate. She couldn’t bear for her to be passed as a gift to one of the generals for meritorious service, when in actual fact most of them were too interested in the throne. 

Her gentle sister-in-law will be devastated should she be married to someone whose only interest was her brother’s throne. 

It was indeed urgent to divert his Highness to a more suitable person, who wasn’t covetous — before it was too late.

Her brother-cousin and sister-in-law will make a great pair. Yahweh, please please let my husband agree to this match. The vultures are circling, Father. Especially that aunt of his with her horrid scheming. She wants her son, LORD — her son! To succeed the throne! She’s planning for her son to marry the princess. Hmmph. I wouldn’t be doing this if her son wasn’t cruel and as over ambitious as his mother. Please God help! 

“Fine. Consider it done.”

Indira sucked in her breathe in shock.

 What!! Just like that?!

 Thank you Yahweh! Thank You!

My Lord? Thank you, thank you! I am most grateful.”

She goshed as she grabbed his hand with both of hers, in gratitude.

“There’s something I will like you to do for me, my queen”

“What, my Lord?”

He held her eyes with his, as he kissed her hand.

“Please from now on, call me by my name, Indira”.

Business/Career, Christian Musings, Parenting Series, Purpose and life's mission, Sanguine thoughts

Entrepreneurship: Why?

Hello WondeBeau People!

It’s been long since I have been here — and I know I say that all the time or at least most of the time, so please bear with me. 

Starting a business is very trendy, especially in this fast and sometimes jaw-dropping millennium we find ourselves.

If you are not starting a business, you are mostly seen and regarded as a “lazy coward” — which I must say isn’t mostly true

Starting a business is more in vogue than anything the fashion plate has to offer. Infact, owning a business is the fashion plate.  



I think the — permit me to use this word — craze for owning a business stems from the wanting to be independent, or rather the declaration of independence.

After all, if you start a business, it’s a serious and responsible thing you are doing. And people will commend your folks on how well they’ve raised you, for you to venture out on your own. Even if your folks are unsure of what you’re about but they have a pretty good idea why you are about it, they will be forced to half-heartedly acknowledge that you are indeed doing something noteworthy. But…

I must say, that’s probably the most inspiring trend that has come out of this generation. I mean you can’t really blame our parents for being sceptical.

Their child who has always been getting into one scrap or the other, with parents having to clean up after them, wondering what on earth they’ve done to deserve their ordeal. And half wondering if their past — whatever that may have been — is demanding payment from them through their carefree juvenile of a child.

Then all of a sudden, the child who probably is now a teen or young adult becomes serious — way too serious for comfort and the parents are thinking, “Here we go again!”

Here they are, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Next thing is, “I want to start this business…”

And they’re thinking, “What now. Is s/he doing drugs?

Then they find out — in most cases — that their children has indeed found his/her legal genius. There was never a time they thought their children weren’t geniuses. They simply were geniuses in the wrong.

So most of the time startups had to get support from self and maybe later from the government or NGOs that support new business ventures.

It’s trilling to say, I’m an entrepreneur. Or I’m self-employed.

What does it mean? And most importantly what does it take be an entrepreneur?

Sometimes, starting a business is an avenue to vent your spleen, to release your pent up emotions or to release something that had been suppressed. To show those who think you are nobody, that you will be somebody.

I think that’s a fantastic productive way of fighting the demons — as long as you don’t run out of steam. Or you have plans on how to continue when you run out of steam.

There’s something about starting a business that exposes your weaknesses and flaws.

You need to know how to manage yourself before you can effectively and efficiently manage a business.

Earlier I was presented a question on: How do you define self-management as a lady? (even auto correct is wondering ‘what da hey?’)

Apparently this was asked in a job interview (phenomenal).

I didn’t know how to answer that question because I wasn’t familiar with that word. 

I could have responded by saying, ‘the ability to manage yourself’ and that would have been too cheeky of me. So as I usually handled things I didn’t understand, I shelved it.

The first thing that came to mind was organisation. Being able to coordinate yourself in an organised manner in a way that enhances productivity — no matter what you might be going through and irrespective of your stress level.

Now, it would be nice if that describes me, but it doesn’t — at the moment.

I express how I feel, I don’t manage it — though I’m trying to. 

Now I suspect that if you’re been asked that question in an interview, they want to find out if you can keep your personal life personal, without allowing it spill into your work life, thereby affecting how productive you are. Never crack, or fall apart no matter what. 

In other words, self-management involves your health: Taking sick leave or being physically sluggish at work, could probably be defined by the employer as, not being able to manage your health, thereby affecting your work!

If one has family problems and becomes distracted and lethargic at work, that may be defined as: being unable to control your emotions making logic and reason difficult in the work place!

If you just had your baby (congratulations!) and you need ma/paternity leave and/or extra breaks during work to take care of yourself and your babies, then you may be termed as: being unable to separate work from family/personal matters thereby reducing productivity in the work place!

In other words, whatever keeps you from giving your 100% at work is no business of the company.

What they are asking is, can you keep working per demand irrespective of what may or may not be going on in your life?

I may be overthinking things of course, but I can’t help but think this is a trick question meant to qualify, disqualify or trap an unsuspecting applicant. By the time the would-be employee knows what this is or may be about, it would have been too late to have a say in the matter.

I mean, self-management?! Come on.

Which is probably one of the major reasons why people are overcoming their fear of starting businesses and launching into the world of entrepreneurship, head first.

The other option is becoming less and less of an option. Working for someone else is becoming more unconducive by the day. Some are fortunate to work with companies who are humane and truly care for the overall well-being of their staff, but many don’t have that fortune.

The code word for this millennium is freedom. Having your own business, seems to be the only way to gain your financial independence, while maintaining your freedom of what, when and how you compromise…..

Shalom! 

Christian Musings, Purpose and life's mission

Crown of Thorns

Hello WonderBeau People.πŸ€—

I’m thrilled to be here. Especially soon after the last post. That is exciting!

I guess I’m beginning to develop a good habit. Keep it up, Girl! I believe high-fiving meself is in order.πŸ™Œ

The day before, I was musing about how all women are queens, whether they are coronated or not.

However, at different stages in a woman’s life, she wears different types of πŸ‘‘ crowns.

In case we are not aware, life is beautiful only when we realize life is a battle.

Therefore we must develop a fighting spirit that will enable us to demand our fair share from life because life isn’t fair.

Back to crowns.

When a woman is going through deep-seated pain, that seems too deep to be reached or expressed — not unlike a persistent under skin itch, feeling it but unable to reach it — it affects every area of her life.

Emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, there might be instability or restlessness and it’s likely she develops a bad habit in the midst of all that helpless pain.

A bad habit as a coping mechanism, like temporarily inflicting pain to distract from the existing pain — more like digging underneath one’s feet.

Rumour has it that crowns have some point like teeth in them, that pricks the head of the wearer, so as to remind the crowned of their responsibilities.

That may have something to do with the saying:

Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown.

Of course, if it was smooth on the inside, the crown is likely to slip off at every slight movement.

So I’m also assuming that the teeth in the crown anchor it to the head more firmly.

Apparently, there’s always a discomfort to wearing a crown, no matter how rare, expensive or beautiful it is.

The teeth in a beautiful crown may not be that different from wearing a crown of thorns.

Makes me wonder if there’s a difference between a crown of thorns and a crown with thorns.

Adversity leads to advancement, more often than not.

Jesus Christ was and still is the Word. According to John chapter 1:

1. In the beginning, was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God

2. The same was at the beginning with God

2. All things were made by him, and without him was not anything made that was made.

Had all that prestige, but for him to be the Messiah king he had to live, feel and die like a common man.

For you to lead, you need to feel and live like those you plan to lead. That’s primarily training for leadership.

Jesus Christ became the name above all other names that at the name of Jesus every knee must bow. Of things in heaven, on things in earth and underneath the earth. And that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory of God the Father.

Because Jesus lived among men, he understood what we need to survive in the battlefield of life.

Therefore according to Luke 10:19, Jesus gave us power that nothing shall by any means hurt us.

Everything he suffered was so that through his suffering we might have life abundantly.

The crown of thorns comes before the crown of glory. Otherwise, we are most likely to abuse the power and authority that comes with the crown of glory.

I think the reason great empires fell, was because those at the helm of affairs ruled rather than lead. Therefore they refused to give power to the people. As soon as they fell the power of the empire fell with them.

However, if they had worn the crown of thorns before wearing the crown of glory, they would have understood that the people are the true custodians of power.

There family businesses — especially the ones who are past their 100th birthday– who would name the new CEO or chairperson only after the candidate has successfully worked his/her way up starting from the gate-person, through all the various departments and sections of the company. And maybe that’s why such businesses have not only outlived their founders, they have become greater with each generation.

Some of these companies also have employees whose grandparents had not only worked in the same company but also own shares in the company.

Now if the kings and emperors of times past, had understood, that to live forever, long after they are gone, they had to hand power to the people. And that power will have multiplied in different forms among all the people, then they would have had a history, rather than becoming history — lost in the sands of time

Because Jesus Christ gave us power, now he lives and reigns forever on earth and in our hearts.

Maybe attempts had been made in times past to wipe out Christiandom. But all they succeeded in doing was to make the Gospel of Jesus spread faster.

Now we have the centuries counted as B.C. {Before Christ} and A.D. (After the death of Christ, who is now risen in glory).

There’s a lot to be learnt from Jesus Christ, only if we can open our hearts to him.

Shalom.πŸ’š

Note: I wrote this in instalments on different days.

Christian Musings, Movies and lessons learnt

Courage for Today.

Hi Beautiful People.

I feel tired and overwhelmed and restless.

I feel tired of being too tired to be who I wanted to be — who I want to be.

Having plans sometimes is like setting oneself up to fail.

I mean tell me:

What do I do when I make plans and things don’t fall into place because the obstacles were much?

Well, I reverted back to prayers.

Of course, I have always prayed. But there’s praying and there’s praying.

There’s praying in your head and there’s my-heart-is-bleeding-I-can’t-take-this-anymore praying.

Praying with a bleeding heart, is like trying to burst a boil at maturity. It’s painful to touch, much less squeeze and it throbs painfully without being touched.

To leave it on it’s own is not an option, because the pain increases to the point of insomnia.

So you have to clench your teeth against the pain and burst the boil. Once you do, you feel better and relieved.

Sometimes until the pain of where we are stuck in, is greater than the pain of breaking free, we might not pursue true liberty –Paraphrased from the novel “The Last Ten Percent” by Michelle McKinney Hammond

Breaking free can be a Herculean task, but it’s not impossible.

Speaking of Herculean tasks, I recall — not that I have been able to forget — the movie “Hercules” whose lead actor is Dwayne Johnson (I think I might watch it again).

I don’t know if I have written this before, but I believe Dwayne found his true calling in acting. He may have wanted to be a sports man, but his size and skills makes him a better actor as warrior in period/medieval movies.

Back to Hercules.

There are lots of lessons to glean from the movie, but the one that relates most to this particular “muse-ticle” on the issue of pain, is best described by my latest finding on this popular quote:

What doesn’t kill you……

Had. Better. Run!!!!

If you are going through pain I recommend Hercules the movie, featuring Dwayne Johnson — I had to add that, because I don’t know if there are other movie versions.

Hercules had lost enough to kill a man, but when he found the truth about his painful past under …less than congenial circumstances, the truth set him free. And in setting himself free others also gained their freedom right along with him.

No wonder, Jesus Christ said and I quote:

Ye shall know the truth and the truth will make you free.

End quote.

A pastor recently said the word make in that scripture is deliberate and has it’s meaning to the text, but we will talk about that in other muse-letters.

Hercules was legendary for his brute strength and his long strings of victory, but he was running away from a memory.

Which brings me to another point:

To be free from a pain you must gather the courage exclusive for it, because you can’t borrow courage from another experience or victory. You need to begin courage or encourage yourself all over again. Therefore, courage is exclusive.

That’s why we see that many of us are fearless in so many aspects, yet have deep seated phobias in one or more areas of our lives. Phobias we choose to ignore, but they are there waiting — waiting to spring unpleasant surprises on us in our most vulnerable moments.

I wish courage was all encompassing. I really do, because it makes the business of living much easier.

But unfortunately or fortunately, depending on how you see it, courage or encouragement does not work that. And I’m learning that the hard way.

This reminds me of the prophet Elijah — the prophet who called down fire more than once in his day. The prophet who never tasted death. Went straight to heaven alive in heavenly escort of horses and chariots of fire.

I mean, that was some serious wonderment that amazes me every time I think about it.

Yet, the same man who stopped rain and called it down when it suited him. Who escaped arrest many times just by disappearing and appearing wherever and whenever he wanted;

Ran away….. ran away, when a witch threatened him!

Some say God had to call him home earlier than planned, because he allowed himself to be frightened by something less than what he had crushed in the past.

The explanation I have for that is: his courage failed him or he lost courage.

This leads me to believe that courage is food we need to injest daily, to be able to withstand unforseen threats that may distabilize us.

Courage is food we need to learn how to feed ourselves with i.e personal encouragement.

We can’t leave our encouragement in the hands of others. Because it’s not always, we can have someone around us to encourage us. Like Dwayne Johnson’s character in Hercules had.

When we depend on yesterday’s meal to sustain us, we would soon faint.

The same applies to courage.

ShalomπŸŒΏπŸ’šπŸŒ΄

Christian Musings

New Year, New Hope

Hello and Happy New Year Wonderful people.

Whatever 2018 was or wasn’t for you, I hope you can move on and try to do things differently in areas that didn’t pan out well.

Despite and inspite of the prophetic outlook, I feel hopeful, more motivated.

Of course, I felt almost the ‘same way’ this time last year. I’m not gonna think about that.

Yes, I am thankful to God for all that came up last year and I was a part of.

I’m thankful for all God has done for me. I’m thankful for the miracle of life.

I was hoping for something…. more….

Like a massive income, investments, a chance to maximise my potential, a change of environment, travel opportunities, education and maybe ‘the man’πŸ˜‰.

I hate it when people say you are the captain of your destiny. Usually, it’s those who ‘have it all’ and they have gotten a teensy bit self-assured about their own abilities, that they assume that if things aren’t working out for you, it’s because you are not doing anything to better yourself.

It’s easy to be hopeful and keep working towards your dreams when you don’t have some people calling you a loser.

Of course they are too posh to call you loser. They will simply talk about their successes and how they did it (some won’t tell you how).

Here you are, wide open emotionally, thinking how you can upgrade your method of trying to succeed. Then they start highlighting your inadequacies, as if you were not aware of them. Then they begin to compare and contrast.

I don’t know about you, but when some people do that to me, I want to climb to highest mountain and give a blood-curdling war cry.

I’m done questioning God about my worth, thank God for that!

I pray that God should forgive me:

For questioning His love every time I’m told I’m unlovable.

For questioning my worth as a human being, anytime someone questions/rues my existence to my face.

For questioning my bright future anytime someone who, didn’t make me treats me like antiquity.

Never will I allow others to make me doubt God because they doubt everything about me.

I don’t know about you, but this 2019 onward, I choose to believe what God whispers in my subconscious :

That I am loved.

I’m worth dying for.

I am precious.

I’m beautifully made

I’m a wonder.

, rather than listen to loud disapproval of others towards me.

Shalom People and remember to be a blessing unto others.πŸ€—

Christian Musings

101 Posts on WordPress

Hello Beautiful People!

How’s life?

When I saw in my notification box that I have 100 posts, I looked back at when wordpress was like an exclusive club of intelligent people and I wished I was part of them.

Well, I am now — sort of. But it’s not such a mirage anymore.

I never liked writing, but I loved to read and talk. Well, it’s actually read or talk. If I wasn’t reading, I was talking.

Now I don’t have much opportunities to talk. Because well, to talk, you actually need someone who is willing to listen.

I don’t have that, always. I understand. Everyone has their lives to live. But it doesn’t solve my need to be heard, so what to do?

Then I hardly go out. So I don’t have many opportunities to reach out to those who want to listen.

So I was stuck with entertaining myself with reading and watching fiction — sometimes non-fiction.

I felt so lonely and sometimes when I was so stressed and tired, I felt unloved.

I hear people say things like, “You need to get off social media and connect to ‘real’ people!”

Then I thought, are they saying people on social media are fake, as in ‘unreal’?

I didn’t believe that, of course. Because before social media we have heard of, met or even connected with fake people that some of us began to wonder if we or the ‘fakees’ are the aliens.

Either we were the humans in a fake planet or we were the aliens who dropped in a strange human world.

Therefore blaming the internet for the emergence of unreal people, is just ridiculous.

Another thing is, what if you have tried to connect with people physically and it didn’t work? What do you do then? You find other ways to connect with people. And the internet is the ‘place’ for that.

The internet had provided outlets for me. I have ‘met’ interesting people from different places.

And we have connected in ways I can’t even connect with my folks.

I suppose being anonymous or ‘far away’ helps you unwind, relax and open up.

I still haven’t found that person or group of people I can call my tribe, but I’m not lonely again.

Thanks mostly to God for giving me outlets to express myself in writing, fashion, reading, praying, singing and so on.

Writing is the one that surprises me the most.

I thought you simply had to love writing and be a genius to be a writer.

I have learnt that sometimes you just had to be yourself to be a writer.

You just have to be tired of silence, to be tired of hearing yourself speak, to be a writer.

If you have a journal or diary then you are a writer.

Your life is more than enough to write about — no matter how boring you think it is.

Forget about whether you can be articulate in writing.

Forget about not knowing how to put the right words together.

Forget about who would or wouldn’t like what you want to write.

If you want to write, then you must write. Period. No what ifs.

I took the courage to let my thoughts find expression, and I’m loving it.

I have lots to write about, but I’m thankful for what I can write, when I can write. It’s far better than not writing at all.

I still don’t like to write, but I love how writing makes me feel : Free, Unburdened, Unfettered, Unchain.

I think everyone should be a writer in whatever way you choose to.

This writing journey has encouraged and enboldened me to try out other things I don’t feel I can do, but I think I can do, or I want to do.

In fact, I’m at risk of adding too much to my plate of activities.

I restraining myself a bit, to focus, master and enjoy all I’m doing presently — one major endeavour at a time.

There’s no need to stress myself out.

Focus,

De-stress,

Stay calm,

Stay rapturable.

Be blessed. Shalom.πŸŒΏπŸŒ΄πŸ’š

Christian Musings

Who Should Be a Parent: Demands of ParentingΒ 

He-llo-o Beautiful People of this Global Village! 

Wherever you are from your part of the world, I want to encourage you to;

 make every minute of your day count, like a minute will cost you a quarter of your country’s annual budget. 

From that perspective I believe you know what to do.

On a spiritual note: 

Listening to the Holy Bible, while we do our work outs and chores, helps some of us who have a hard time sitting still long enough to spend quality time reading the scriptures. 

Health Reminder

Drink warm or room temperature water. Swallowing chilled anything congeals the blood.

On fashion:

As a woman, if you are have an athletic build or you have broad shoulders, wear plain and deep coloured tops, with vertical necklines. Then wear bright coloured  prints/patterns/florals as your skirt.

Beauty Tip:

Touch your face only when you want to clean your face or apply skin care. This is mostly for those of us who have break-outs.

I have been posting about millenial parenting recently, and apparently it’s a topic that might span several posts based on the fact that there are different angles to this issue

Parenting is serious business that has to be handled with firm but gentle hands. 

It can be confusing and mind boggling, because you need to have the right balance and flexibility. It’s like doing both extremes at the same time. For example, you can’t be either disciplined or gentle. You need to be both. One can’t be without the other. And to top that, you need to be too much of both, at the same time. 

It’s a message to your children, that you love them too much to let them be undisciplined. It’s like sweetening a bitter medicine they need to swallow so they can live. So they are more likely to take the medicine because it has been sweetened, rather than you having to resort to force feeding. 

Based on this illustration, discipline is needed to live to ones full potential, therefore it’s compulsory to be disciplined. The more disciplined one is, the better chances a person has to be more successful in life. 

It’s easier to live a disciplined life, when a person has been taught that from childhood. It becomes a habit and it stays a habit when the results are outstanding. 

However, the training to be disciplined is very rigorous that more often than not, it breaks the soul or hardens the heart of the trainee. They become distant emotionally. Because discipline demands you ignore your feelings and just get the job done. If that is done often enough, the trainee gets used to not feeling at all. 

In fact, they get to a point were they decide that being emotional is a sign of indiscipline. Lord help whoever marries them in that state. Their spouses who are emotionally active will have a hard time understanding why, someone can be so unfeeling and seem cold. Now, there won’t be a problem if two emotionally distant people marry each other. But, those are rare cases. Who knows? Maybe it’s their soul crying out for a release that attracted them to someone who is highly emotional — without them being aware of what’s going on.

And if their emotions are not awakened before their children come, the children might wonder why one parent is all hugs and kisses, while the other is distant and unfeeling. And then another negative  pattern is forming, because the children will take it personal. They would try to get the attention and please the unresponsive parent who doesn’t seem to love them. And most times they fail and they may turn to rebellion, to the heart break of the loving parent and the silent  disappointment of the distant parent. 

Hence, the call for intense discipline sweetened with lots of love. Love makes the difference on how they decide to apply that discipline. Love is life. 

The Bible says that, if we do all good works, but have no love, then we’ve done nothing. Love coupled with discipline makes great positive impact. Discipline without love makes life a mere routine of dull existence. Love without discipline is life without proper focus. Love helps us identify purpose, but discipline helps us see it through — reach our goal. 

As parents and aspiring parents, we need to understand that parenting is leadership. You lead your children to where/were they need to be. And what that means is, you are as a matter of fact, going to were/where you are leading. In other words, you are being followed, closely by your children, in all you do. 

Now if that scares you, then you need to change your ways. 

Reminds me of a resolution I made recently, concerning who I marry. 

I can understand the good-girl-lovingbad-boy syndrome among staunch Christian women. I mean I’m going through that phase at the moment. I find myself in my past-mid-20s having a crush — a crush for goodness sakes! — for a guy (and I used the word guy intentionally, for obvious reasons) who is at the other extreme of what I want, not to mention need, in a husband. 

So yeah, I understand too well how one can be attracted to ones opposite or the opposite of what one wants. 

But do I make a lifetime decision based on a crush? No! Absolutely not. And my head is shaking side to side in emphasis. 

Why? Some people may ask, can’t I follow my ‘heart’? Well, the heart can be deceptive and I don’t trust it.

I mean, how can I trust a heart that tells me to do the opposite of what I know is best for me?

If I look at a man or guy and I can’t imagine my unborn son dressing, walking, behaving like him, then he’s not to be considered — at all. 

And this is were a lot of women have missed it and unfortunately still missing it. 

They choose a guy who’s not interested in man-ing up. A guy who’s not ready to be settled, responsible. A guy who is not willing to be a husband and father. They chose him because he’s cute and he has a sexy voice. Ha! 

But of course, the smitten woman will not tell you that, because they know you will drag them to church for deliverance while pleading the blood of Jesus over their befuddled self. All they would say is, “He’s a nice guy and he’s got potential. He just needs someone to help him find his way to the Lord.” Ha

Well, I know all the cute, sexy, nice and potential alone, cannot give me the husband I need and the father my babies need. 

Let’s not forget that when we are shopping for a spouse, we are also shopping for a father/mother for our unborn children.

Enough said. 

So we need to watch were/where we go or are going. If your children can’t go somewhere, then you — yes you! — can not go there either. Children always have an inclination to be or do in multiples, what we are doing — even in private. Because children are wired to do or copy what you are doing whether they see you do it, or not.

So if you have planted a seed you don’t want to reap, you had better uproot it. Because whatever is planted comes back hundred fold. If that scares you, then change your ways.

My conclusion for this segment, is if you want loving and disciplined children, then you need to be loving and disciplined. Show them how, with your actions, then allow them to interpret your demonstrations in their own understanding. As long as they are not committing a crime or sin, it fine to be flexible.

I recall reading a post, or a quote by a well-known billionaire. He was reported to have said, he likes giving difficult jobs to lazy people, because they find easy ways to do the job. 

Understand that everyone is a unique person on their own. Therefore don’t force your children to do the right thing, your own way only. If you do, you will squash their creativity, their ability to think independently; sort through challenges without external influence and be confident enough to take decisions on their own. 

Love and discipline means nothing if you can’t teach children to stand alone with God. 

Till next time, stay rapturable. 

Shalom!🌍🏞

Christian Musings, Parenting Series, Purpose and life's mission

Millenial Parenting 2.0

Hello Wonderful People 

From last post, I was writing about parenting of today and how it is deforming the upcoming generation. 

It seems easier and more convenient to give money to children in exchange for real commitment and communication.

I understand that today’s world is so fast that it makes it hard to keep track of what happens around us; but if we are willing, we can be partners with our children to build their destinies. 

This means you can’t take the high handed, know-it-all approach to parenting. 

Parenting takes leadership and leadership is through example of leading yourself, walking the talk and being sincere/honest about your struggles. 

My heartfelt thanks goes to those who are pouring the best of themselves into their children, guiding them towards God, helping them to discover and maximize their potentials. You are indeed the true legends of our time, because you are building legacies. Thank you. I pray you reap and enjoy the fruits of your labour, in Jesus Christ name. Amen. 

I believe most absentee parents are absent because they are still busy chasing their personal demons — or being chased by their personal demons. 

These demons drive their career obsessions —  obsession for recognition, money, power, fame. And it’s never enough, at the expense of every other thing or person in their lives. 

Such people run scared everytime commitment and communication stares them in the face. This is because they are afraid of what might spill out of them if they open up; since commitment and communication takes opening up — sometimes it takes being honest and  vulnerable.

It’s often said, you can’t give what you don’t have. But I think it’s more of, not knowing or willing, than not having. That is, it’s not the absence of love, commitment etc, but the not knowing how to love and commit, or not willing to give what it takes.

After all, we are wired or made for relationships. Therefore we have what it takes to create, nurture and build meaningful relationships. 

However, it takes a level of selflessness to have a meaningful relationship. 

And since there’s so much talk to focus on self and self only, relationship are now used as means to further the self agenda only.  Not caring if the others involved, are heading to hell in a hand basket — unless if there’s more juice to squeeze of them. 

At the end of the day, it was all about what to squeeze out of others to further boost self. Therefore, the motto of those who have gotten drunk on self,  who worship at the shrine of self is: 

What’s in it for me?

 Whatever involves personal investment, is of no interest to them. 

If that isn’t narcissism, then I don’t know what it is. 

Now, does that mean we should not care for ourselves and look out for our best interests?

Of course not. 

But the point is: treat others the way you want to be treated, and in the same vein never allow others to treat you like you don’t treat others. 

You can go a step further, and treat others the way they desire to be treated. 

Okay, so you are like, What? am I to be subject to other people’s desires? 

Well, no. 

But take for instance, some people don’t mind or don’t care  — at least that’s what they say — others making fun of them or discussing their past, or gossiping about them. 

Does that give them the permission to gossip and make fun of others?

Well, I say NO! 

I recalled watching a show were basically all the host does is mostly to analyze, dissect and talk about others, especially in scandalous circumstances. 

Don’t ask me, why I watch the show. 

I have asked myself the same question, and I don’t have a coherent answer. Yet. 

I don’t want to think I’m probably as guilty as the host, for watching how people are nearly torn apart. But in my defence, I don’t watch it all the time. And the times I do watch, is when I’m trying to make sense of a crazy situation going on. 

So, this particular episode was about a man who mentioned an ex during an interview. Apparently, the husband of his ex was not happy about that, so the husband came out and saying he didn’t want the man and some others talking about his wife. 

Now, one would expect the man to simply out of respect, take note and not talk about the ex — who happens to be a married woman now — again. 

Well no. He too ‘clapped back’ saying no one should tell him what to do or say. If he was asked a question he would answer, regardless of who was involved.

My questions:

Was that really necessary? Where did mutual respect and consideration for others go to? 

What was worse, was that a woman was in support of a woman’s past being talked about like that. That’s definitely a topic for another day. 

You might wonder what all these show talk has to do with parenting. 

Well, the people involved are parents!!

If the man didn’t care about his ex, could he be considerate towards her children? By not giving school bullies ammunition to torture these children in school or social gatherings? 

And we all know how children can be mean to one another. 

I don’t know why some people don’t think, before talking. Especially, when they are supposed to be adults — who also happen to have children. 

What are they teaching their children? 

That it’s okay to say what you want, how and when you want without any thought for who might be hurt? 

On a side note: These are things I think feminists should speak against — considering it involves a woman. 

Till next time, stay rapturable.

Shalom πŸ’œπŸŒŽπŸ’š