Entanglement 2

Hello Wonderfully Made💐 

In case you have been expecting me to finish the angles on the entanglement saga, I’m sorry. 

I have been tensed with finishing some projects.

I haven’t finished them, but I need to untangle this entanglement as much possible from observation and perspective, so we can learn.

First, I want to say that Jada Pinkett’s entanglement is more common than we would like to admit.

As I kept pondering on the issue,  scriptures kept popping into my mind.

“…let he that thinks he standeth, take heed lest he falls”

Never think you’re too old, too experienced, too matured or too whatever, to fall. If you don’t put measures in place to prevent entanglements and maintain the security of your boundaries, you will fall prey to an entanglement.

I managed to watch the Red Table Talk she had with her husband on this issue — the whole 12mins or so.

She got involved with another man, while she was on her marital break-time and it so happens that she more or less decided to take a snack. A snack that is now giving her family a bellyache. How is it that women take a bite and just about everybody else is affected? Kinda like Eve and her ill-fated snack.

She mentioned she was feeling suffocated in the marriage and she just needed that break. I just wonder if she can breathe easy, now that the world knows what she called her business. 

Therein lies the problem. When you think what you do with yourself and who you do it with is your business, you don’t think of consequences or your reputation and those you love. 

Hindsight they say is 2020 and boy, what a year! 

  I can’t imagine having to explain such an occurrence. Because I am accountable God, my loved ones, my parents, my legacy, the body of Christ, and myself. I represent them in more ways than one. Anything, I do can either cast a bad shade or good light on all I stand for.

  When you think freedom is doing what you want, anytime you want, with whomever you want, however, you want; then you are in for a life with no reputation. You just move from famous to infamous.

If that doesn’t matter to you, then  may I ask, where is your conscience? I hope we still recall what a conscience is because if we don’t then we certainly deserve what this virus has done to us.

This issue reminded me that again, maturity is not ageing. Maturity is being accountable and answerable to others. It’s sticking to doing what is right at all times.

Now if you must take a break, you want to make sure you don’t get into trouble. Some say Will isn’t faithful either. Maybe. Maybe not. If he’s been unfaithful he’s keeping it well under wraps. 

Now the very idea of an open “marriage” is an insult to the institution. Marriage is not a club but an institution established by God. 

And there’s this issue of Alcina saying he got permission from Will to date Jada. I don’t quite know what to make of that. But hey, men have been known to use their wives as bargaining chips. Some have gambled away their wives. Some have pimped their wives. 

It’s therefore not unlikely that Will gave permission to another man his son’s age, I presume, to have a relationship with his wife. 

But as far as I know, no man will come out and admit to such a disgusting “deal” now would they? 

What the other man did not realise and I guess he has now after the fact, is the husband has the advantage of previous knowledge that should he decide to reel his wife back to his side, he could do it with considerable ease. No matter how good she may have felt with the other man and how suffocated she felt with her husband.

As he said at that Table, he’s working on winning her back. Which makes me wonder. If as he implied, he was done with her why did he want her back? Is it because he had a rethink? Is it because he couldn’t stand that she found happiness with someone else? Or he didn’t imagine her happiness will be found with someone as opposed to something.

He may have been joking about being done with her. But there’s this saying in South-West Nigeria that, you glean truth from humour. 

Honestly, I wish Dr. Phil will jump on this one. You know with all three of them who are involved.

I rest it here for now.

Take care.

Shalom!

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Entanglements

 Hello, Wonderfully made! I hope we are staying safe and healthy.

From the topic, some of us may already guess what this is about. But just in case you don’t, I will brief you.

Jada Smith suggested that she got “entangled” with another man while she was on a marriage hiatus.

She said this to her husband on her show, where it’s just two people at a table. This time it was her husband and her.

Very interesting.

I don’t like to talk about people especially when they have done what’s wrong — in my view.

However, I want to address the issues surrounding this saga and there are many angles to this story.

In this post, I want to talk about the other man. 

It seems it was the other man who first mentioned the entanglement.

He talked about how it affected him and it turns out he’s releasing a song titled “Entanglement”.

I think he feels rejected. Or dumped. And perhaps used. Whichever it was, I’m sure it doesn’t feel good.

I have yet to watch the interview, August (one of his names) gave. The little I have heard especially from Jada, turned my stomach. As I type this I feel slightly nauseous.

I think he should have expected this though, but for reasons, best known to him and Jada, he’s traumatised by the entanglement. Coupled with the fact that he was going through some issues that may need a psychologist to fix. Apparently, he and she chose to handle it in-house since rumour has it he’s somewhat a family friend. They got closer and the rest is still unfolding.

Again I believe part of what ails the man is The sting of rejection. 

Apparently, he assumed they would become a couple. That, or he later realised he had become too emotionally attached to her and whatever did happen between them, that he is now suffering withdrawal syndrome or is it symptoms?

Either or, he’s so pained or miffed about it, that could no longer keep it to himself: that something happened between him and a married woman during her marital break time. 

To all and sundry, let’s take these lessons:

• Do not get entangled — at all. If you do, you will feel trapped. Actually, you will be trapped. So if you cherish your freedom, anything that isn’t clear and concise, just steer clear. 
• Steer clear of a romantic interest who is married! Really, you can’t win. Rather, it will do you in. You will be sucked into all their issues that extends to their children and spouse. Besides, karma is not extinct. Do to others what you want to be done to you and this warning wouldn’t be necessary. 
• Respect other people’s feelings and relationships. I’m talking of those “they” are in relationships with or married to and the children.
• Respect yourself. If you have a proper value structure. There are troubles that you skip by because you refuse to demean yourself in any way.
• Seek help in the appropriate places from trained professionals. It is way too easy to become infatuated to the person who is trying to help you. And next thing you know, you have built a castle or city in the sky featuring that person as your partner. By the time you realise they either see you as a sibling or their child, you are already emotionally entangled, if not mentally also. A professional knows how to assist you, without leaving you worse than they met you. 
• Maintain emotional distance. You don’t want to get entangled? Don’t get emotionally involved. This pandemic has reinforced some traditions that kept people from starting something they should not have began, to start with. There are cultures that had what I will call gender segregation. Women had their quarters, so did men. They only mixed in supervised circumstances. Even at social gatherings, women sat on one side while men sat at the other. In such arrangements, temptations are minimal with little or no opportunity to yield. Keep physical and emotional distance from the opposite gender, that isn’t in your nuclear family.

The ripple effect of this entanglement saga is far-reaching. Like an octopus with many tentacles.

I will be back to post my perspective on the other angles.

Stay safe, stay healthy in your body, soul and spirit.

Shalom!

https://puttingmyfeetinthedirt.com/2020/07/01/july-writing-prompts-2/ 2. City in the Sky, 5. The Sting of Rejection