Wake Up 2.0

Hello WonderBeau People! This is to continue from the last post, Wake Up.

Courage.

This is a different cup of tea from faith. Courage has been said to not be the absence of fear, but moving forward inspite the fear and working through the fear. 

Now that you have taken a reflective journey through the change from your past, the next form of action is recovery, not necessarily from the blow of the past, but to recover your dreams and what life took from you.

You may feel too tired to try. You may argue it’s been too long ago, or you are too old, too sick, to ashamed or anything else you might be going through at the moment, to reclaim what your life was.

But inspite all of that, you must try and try hard! Strain your emotional, mental and physical muscles to repossess your dreams, vision, purpose and motivation. Let that be your wake up call: repossession.

You worked too hard to let it all go away just like that! You need to fight back and push back the blur, the fatigue, the procrastination, the fear and the helplessness! Especially the helplessness….! Don’t get me started on that one.

Helplessness is a major energy drainer. It’s like a vacuum cleaner. But instead of sucking into itself the dirt and junk, it sucks in energy, motivation, self-esteem, hope and faith. Push back at the helplessness, that tries to settle every time you try to move and an obstacle comes up.

Now an obstacle isn’t an issue. By now, we are probably used to that. But there are some obstacles that are special in that they are like Goliath. But unlike Goliath though, it’s a loved one who you can’t seem to conquer because you can’t use the usual weapons.

That’s sometimes where the helplessness may stem from mostly. Because these are people you can’t defy because not only do you love them, but they are one or more of the following:

1. They cater for your need.
2. They are your support systems. 
3. They’re an authority over you.

Now when any of the above, are opinionated, bossy and they think you must do as they say, then you are in trouble. 

These people —  who we must respect, even though they make it sooo hard — feel it’s their right to tell you what to do, and when you don’t, Lord help you, because you know the emotional/scriptural blackmail and mental torture is on the way.

Sometimes, you wonder if they realise the harm they’re doing to you. The painful part of this whole over-protective shackled relationship is that you don’t know how to explain what is happening to others. And when you try to, you either sound like a whiner, ungrateful, or a lazy person blaming others for his/her misfortune. Or worse, on those rare occasions someone believes you, they call your “loved” one, cruel, which makes you feel worse, then you begin making excuses for them or even blame yourself. So most times you lie, yes lie to cover for them! 

When someone who believes you is looking in from the outside, they will call what you are in an abusive relationship with a controlling person.

And if you are honest with yourself even if it hurts more, you know they are right! Now instead of shutting them down in defence of your special person, may I humbly suggest you listen to them? 

Remember, you have a challenge that’s hurting you more and more, and you don’t have a strategy to overcome. You had better listen to someone who actually believes you! Because they may have been in your shoes before and now they are free or they’ve found a way to manage the situation with significant progress. That, or they’re therapists. Besides, it’s not like you have a long queue of people waiting to help you the way you need to be helped.

They may say things that hurt, but as long as there suggestions are not sinful or criminal, I don’t see why you shouldn’t try it. Remember we are still talking about courage. 

In one of the posts on this blessed blog, I talked about how you need to develop courage from the scratch for every situation. Which may explain why you can push back in all other areas eyes blazing, but freeze helplessly in one particular area.

The greatest prayer you can pray is, “Jehovah have mercy on me and help me, in the name of Jesus Christ”

Remember “God is our Refuge and Strength a very present help in trouble, therefore will we not fear though the earth be moved….” Psalms 46. Please read that. You will find it to be of great help and comfort to you.

Mostly, our fear of confronting our over-bearing loved ones are:

“What if I hurt their feelings? After all they have been so good to me. I don’t want to seem ungrateful….”

“What if they withdraw their support? What will I do? Where will I go? I have no one else I can turn to and I have nothing! Will I end up in the streets? Will I end up becoming a victim of street horrors on top of all I’m going through? I won’t be able to survive that. But I don’t think I can survive this either….”

What if I offended God with my outburst? How would I redeem myself? God is my only Help I can’t afford to annoy him by offending an authority figure. But I can’t take this anymore… Right. I said that 5years ago, yet here am I. How long is this going to go on….”

“I promised myself and I believe I owe it to them to take care of them. If I leave now, they will be all alone, yet they are unwittingly adding to my misery. Even though they belittle my efforts, I love them too much to leave them all alone without someone trust worthy to replace me….”

Would I ever get out? What a horrible dilemma!”

Whatever the fears are, they’re quite understandable even if they are a bit exaggerated. 

Understand though, that you have to speak and walk and work through those fears. 

You have to push back at their attitude, not at them!  Don’t do it too often, therefore you have to choose what to stamp down your foot for and give a polite but firm,’No!‘ to.

Push back with strategic wisdom. You don’t want to cut off your nose to spite your face. Be diplomatically assertive. Yes, there will be times you will be so upset you want to scream — and you probably should, so you don’t loose your mind — but do it in moderation.

Insist on the your basic need for privacy. Don’t let them walk all over you. You might not get a positive response the first time, you don’t allow them to invade your privacy. But they will get the message and eventually back off, because inspite your politeness they can hear your scream of frustration and hurt, even though your voice was low. They won’t want that fraying restraint to let loose, so they will see reason, eventually. Remember to say “thank you” when they do oblige you. 

Know that you may not gain your independence in one fell swoop. But be grateful for what little airspace you have. Enjoy that little freedom and make profitable use of it to seek freedom in other areas. More like invest that freedom to afford you more freedom. Don’t waste small freedom on frivolities. Ooooh, I know it tempting. And I have misused the little freedom I have had on a few occasions, but I the end of the day. It isn’t worth it, because freedom is an opportunity, a ticket to do better. Freedom is also an open check.

I read a question once that quite deep: 

If a wealthy relative gives you some money for a month and then tells you that whatever is left of that money at the end of that month is what you will be given every month for the rest of your life! What will you do? Think about it!

I know you are loosing patience because, well, you are not getting younger and life seems to be passing by. But impatience can ruin things, so make haste slowly.

This gives you a chance to establish yourself one step at a time. By the time you are reasonable established you will be confident enough to stand on your own in other areas you are still dependent. 

• GRATEFULNESS

Remember to look back to see how far you have come. That way you will know how much you have to be grateful for. Be grateful that things aren’t worse. And they could have been!

Be grateful for where you are. Thank God for what you have. Look around you and thank God for what you have access to — even if it isn’t yours.

I listened to a speaker who said every night he writes 50 things he’s thankful to God for. And he began that practice when he could barely cater for his family. Fifty things! 

I doubt anyone will do that and not sleep better at night. Such a practice resets your mind for the best, that enables you to have a clearer mind, which in turn generates ideas for productive growth. It increases faith and renews hope that all will be well.

I remember the first few days I tried it. By the time I got to thankfulness number 50, I had about 10 more points, to be grateful for.

Gratefulness helps you to enjoy where you are on the way to where you are going.

Its an eye-opener to the opportunities that are available to you where you are. The privileges and the advantages you do have will become more visible to you. 

Gratefulness leads to discovery. It helps you to be content even as you aspire and work towards making your good dreams come true.

I must say that contentment does not keep you in one spot, but resigned acceptance or accepting defeat does.

Contentment is fulfillment in transition. It’s being at peace with what you have. But I believe what inspires contentment the most, is the knowledge of who you are and Whose you are. The knowing that who you are is independent and therefore isn’t defined by what you are or what you have, is what inspires contentment.

Contentment keeps you grounded in your principles. That is, it stabilises your character and personality. It establishes and makes you deeply rooted in character, good principles and high moral standards.

Therefore, contented people cannot be bought. Infact, they don’t have a price. They don’t change along with their circumstances. No wonder the Bible says, “Contentment with Godliness is of great gain”

When you are contented, you are mostly fearless — especially where material wealth is concerned.

Contentment is peace within in the midst of the storms of life…..

Shalom🌴

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The Encounter

“Sherie? Is that you?” Sheryl removed her limited edition sun glasses to be sure she wasn’t seeing things.

Sherie had been her friend and business partner. Until Sherie disappeared with her investment and Sheryl’s fiance.

That was two years ago. And she couldn’t believe she was seeing her again.

“Hello Sheryl. Long time.” Sherie looked around nervously as if seeking for an escape.

Sheryl snorted a laugh, “Yeah. Long time indeed.”

As Sherie made to dash away, Sheryl blocked her with an, “Oh no you don’t Cherie. You owe me an explanation, Mademoiselle. Or is it ‘Madam’ now?”

“Look Sheryl I don’t want trouble —”

“Really? Your actions in times past contradicts that. Where is my money?”

“I don’t have it.”

“What?!”

“You know what? Lawyer up, Sherie. Because you going to hear from me soon”, Sheryl said as she wore her sunglasses again.

Sheryl walked to her husband’s limousine as the suited guard opened the door for her to climb in.

“Hello Beautiful”, her husband said with a loving smile.

His smile helped calm her upset feeling a bit.

“Hello Dear”, She replied with a small smile.

“What’s wrong?” Her husband, Christian asked with concern.

“I stumbled into someone from my past who betrayed my trust”

“I’m sorry, dear”, Christian was sympathetic, as he rubbed her back to calm and comfort her.

“You know, I don’t think I will ever ask her. But what will be her excuse for robbing me?”

“There’s will never be a good enough reason or excuse for betrayal such as that. She did what she did based on who she was. That has little or nothing to do with you, Baby. So don’t take it personal.”

“Thanks Love. I’m not taking it personal. Which is why I’m suing her.”

“Good”

“So what’s for dinner?” Sheryl asked her besotted husband.

“Well, that depends on you, my love. Goodness forbid I order the chefs to prepare something that isn’t your current craving.” He said with a twinkle in his eyes as her cradled her slight baby bump.

“Oh you!”, She said as they both laughed.

via Your Daily Word Prompt – Trust – June 11, 2019

Entrepreneurship: Why?

Hello WondeBeau People!

It’s been long since I have been here — and I know I say that all the time or at least most of the time, so please bear with me. 

Starting a business is very trendy, especially in this fast and sometimes jaw-dropping millennium we find ourselves.

If you are not starting a business, you are mostly seen and regarded as a “lazy coward” — which I must say isn’t mostly true

Starting a business is more in vogue than anything the fashion plate has to offer. Infact, owning a business is the fashion plate.  

I think the — permit me to use this word — craze for owning a business stems from the wanting to be independent, or rather the declaration of independence.

After all, if you start a business, it’s a serious and responsible thing you are doing. And people will commend your folks on how well they’ve raised you, for you to venture out on your own. Even if your folks are unsure of what you’re about but they have a pretty good idea why you are about it, they will be forced to half-heartedly acknowledge that you are indeed doing something noteworthy. But…

I must say, that’s probably the most inspiring trend that has come out of this generation. I mean you can’t really blame our parents for being sceptical.

Their child who has always been getting into one scrap or the other, with parents having to clean up after them, wondering what on earth they’ve done to deserve their ordeal. And half wondering if their past — whatever that may have been — is demanding payment from them through their carefree juvenile of a child.

Then all of a sudden, the child who probably is now a teen or young adult becomes serious — way too serious for comfort and the parents are thinking, “Here we go again!”

Here they are, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Next thing is, “I want to start this business…”

And they’re thinking, “What now. Is s/he doing drugs?

Then they find out — in most cases — that their children has indeed found his/her legal genius. There was never a time they thought their children weren’t geniuses. They simply were geniuses in the wrong.

So most of the time startups had to get support from self and maybe later from the government or NGOs that support new business ventures.

It’s trilling to say, I’m an entrepreneur. Or I’m self-employed.

What does it mean? And most importantly what does it take be an entrepreneur?

Sometimes, starting a business is an avenue to vent your spleen, to release your pent up emotions or to release something that had been suppressed. To show those who think you are nobody, that you will be somebody.

I think that’s a fantastic productive way of fighting the demons — as long as you don’t run out of steam. Or you have plans on how to continue when you run out of steam.

There’s something about starting a business that exposes your weaknesses and flaws.

You need to know how to manage yourself before you can effectively and efficiently manage a business.

Earlier I was presented a question on: How do you define self-management as a lady? (even auto correct is wondering ‘what da hey?’)

Apparently this was asked in a job interview (phenomenal).

I didn’t know how to answer that question because I wasn’t familiar with that word. 

I could have responded by saying, ‘the ability to manage yourself’ and that would have been too cheeky of me. So as I usually handled things I didn’t understand, I shelved it.

The first thing that came to mind was organisation. Being able to coordinate yourself in an organised manner in a way that enhances productivity — no matter what you might be going through and irrespective of your stress level.

Now, it would be nice if that describes me, but it doesn’t — at the moment.

I express how I feel, I don’t manage it — though I’m trying to. 

Now I suspect that if you’re been asked that question in an interview, they want to find out if you can keep your personal life personal, without allowing it spill into your work life, thereby affecting how productive you are. Never crack, or fall apart no matter what. 

In other words, self-management involves your health: Taking sick leave or being physically sluggish at work, could probably be defined by the employer as, not being able to manage your health, thereby affecting your work!

If one has family problems and becomes distracted and lethargic at work, that may be defined as: being unable to control your emotions making logic and reason difficult in the work place!

If you just had your baby (congratulations!) and you need ma/paternity leave and/or extra breaks during work to take care of yourself and your babies, then you may be termed as: being unable to separate work from family/personal matters thereby reducing productivity in the work place!

In other words, whatever keeps you from giving your 100% at work is no business of the company.

What they are asking is, can you keep working per demand irrespective of what may or may not be going on in your life?

I may be overthinking things of course, but I can’t help but think this is a trick question meant to qualify, disqualify or trap an unsuspecting applicant. By the time the would-be employee knows what this is or may be about, it would have been too late to have a say in the matter.

I mean, self-management?! Come on.

Which is probably one of the major reasons why people are overcoming their fear of starting businesses and launching into the world of entrepreneurship, head first.

The other option is becoming less and less of an option. Working for someone else is becoming more unconducive by the day. Some are fortunate to work with companies who are humane and truly care for the overall well-being of their staff, but many don’t have that fortune.

The code word for this millennium is freedom. Having your own business, seems to be the only way to gain your financial independence, while maintaining your freedom of what, when and how you compromise…..

Shalom! 

Entrepreneurship: The Reality

Hello wonderful people!

Recently I have had a fascination for TED talks on YouTube, and I must say I have learnt a lot, on different topics.

Most recently, I watched a TED on entrepreneurs and the reality they hardly discuss or talk about.

Of course, the speaker is an entrepreneur talking from experience.

He talked about being lonely, depressed and most times flat broke. But when asked by friends and family how his business was going, he said,

“I will grin while gritting my teeth and say, ‘Great!’ “

The word great is usually a cuss word replacement, used mostly when we have put in our best into a project, and something upsets it so much, we might have to start all over again.

And we are already tired.

In the spirit of being positive even when we feel anything but, we throw our arms up and mutter, “Great!” — even when we are swearing on the inside.

Because, the first step into starting a business, or being an entrepreneur — as it’s called these days — that first step is motivation, hence the rise in motivational speaking and speakers.

More than 50% of most seminars are spent on motivational speaking. And what do they talk about? Power of Positive Thinking.

And the Bible says, “As a man thinketh in his heart so is he.”

Of course, you also must talk positive especially when you don’t feel like!

You must think and speak and act positively, especially when things are not going well.

And in the face of disappointment, stress, and possible depression, it is hard.

At some point I ask myself… not at some point.

I have been asking myself, if I’m being positive in my words or am I lying to myself and others?

You are likely to get assistance even if it’s encouragement, when you say things as they are, not as you wish them to be.

For a Christian entrepreneur, it’s harder to be ‘honest‘ with your feeling because, it could mean you don’t have faith.

After all, faith is still evidence of things not seen.

I’m apparently going to ask my pastor the difference between lying and speaking faith. It’s been long overdue.

I don’t know about you, but when I speak faith, I feel like a bloody liar.

And just so you know, I loathe lying and deception in any shape or form.

So imagine how I feel when I say what isn’t true, even when I’m biblically justified.

One one hand, when I’m asked, “How are you?” And I reply in tired exasperation, “Not good!”, I panick that I might have sent back my Angel of blessing, who was about to hand me a reward of faith.

Then I start to ask for forgiveness on unbelief. Praying that God restores what I have lost or what I might have lost as a result of not speaking faith.

On the other hand, when I’m asked, ” So how’s business? “. And I reply, “Great“, haven’t I shot myself in the leg, by saying the opposite of reality?

You know, it’s easy to speak positively when asked about personal matters. After all, you don’t want people knowing how you really are.

But with business, it’s different because, business is not personal!

Business is about serving others goods and services for profit. Nothing personal about that, except for the profit of course, which you wouldn’t be getting, without talking to people about what you are offering.

Saying the opposite of reality, could mean the loss of prospect or a lead, investor, or any other form of assistance.

Because if you’re great, then it could be interpreted as you needing no one for anything, therefore hardly anyone will be offering to help. After all, you are great, right?

So what I sometimes do is say the truth while still speaking faith. Therefore I reply with a prayer.

Something like, ” I’m fine, in Jesus name”

However, God just hinted me now that, in order not to come off sounding like a delusional religious fanatic to people who are not in my faith, I could say something like, “Thank you for asking, I’m praying for better.”

You get the idea?

To a non-christian, prayer is the last resort when you are at the point of giving up.

To them, why pray when you have a brain to think and the ability to work?

I think people will hear what you are not saying or asking, than what you’re saying.

Not to mention, your response being uncommon and unusual.

Its like a verbal business card. It will get people thinking because of your unique choice of words, they won’t be able to forget you easily, because your words left an impression.

They might want to know you better, to hear more from you. They will talk about you to someone else. It could be an, “I met an interesting person today…..”

Even if they don’t need your services at that moment, someone they discussed you with or someone present there might actually need your services and patronise you.

One the most powerful prayers a Christian can pray is,

“O God! Give me a mouth and a wisdom, in the name of Jesus Christ. “

You will know, when you say and do the right thing when you don’t know how to respond or what to do.

Shalom🤗