Christian Musings, Life, Purpose and life's mission, Sanguine thoughts, Singles' issues

Illusions of Womanhood

Hallo Wonderbeau Everyone! I hope it’s well with your soul?

So I am trying to pick off my musings one by one, not because I have more time, but because I am giving up something (my personal care, at the moment) to write. But currently, I will rather write than brush my teeth. Hopefully, that doesn’t become a habit. 😬 😅

I just read another chapter of a novel from from Notes to Women, an author on this platform, gripping stories she writes, I tell you. I stop over at her “place” on this WordPress “Avenue” to read her latest novel updates, before coming “home” to muse.

Continue reading “Illusions of Womanhood”
Advertisement
Singles' issues, Stories

Crownie’s Chronicles

“Can you imagine?” Crownie asked Meg, in what one can describe as an after-shock.

“One moment I was in an impromptu eye-lock with a handsome Shiekh, the next I was being called to give an impromptu wedding toast to the new couple!”

“You didn’t faint?”

“Wish I did!”

A word prompt to get your creativity flowing this weekend.  How you use the prompt is up to you.  Write a piece of flash fiction, a poem, a chapter for your novel…anything you like.  Or take the challenge below – there are no prizes – it’s not a competition but rather a fun writing exercise. […]

Weekend Writing Prompt #258- Impromptu
Christian Musings, Life, Purpose and life's mission, Sanguine thoughts, Singles' issues

Illusion of Innocence

This has been a long time coming. But now, I really think I must say something. Perhaps, to prevent women from being with someone who “settled” with them, rather than men who love them deeply and really want to be their husbands — for all it’s worth!

Welcome to a new week and month, Wonderbeau people!!! 🤩

It’s exciting to share my thoughts with you again. This may or may not take a while, but here it goes.

So.

Recently, some beautiful weddings happened! And I was grinning 😀 from ear 👂 to ear 👂.

The women had become legends in their fields. They were beautiful, very successful and famous.

They had also being single for so long.

So for those of us who are fans, their weddings were pleasant surprises.

Then of course, you had the folks who just had to find something unnice to say. Namely, their age.

The unspoken “spell” was that, a highly successful woman is less likely to marry her type, if she ever gets to that point.

By her type, I mean a man within her age group, handsome and as successful/rich, if not more successful or richer than herself.

So these recent celebrity weddings, broke that (damn) “spell”. From all accounts, the men were what some would call “high value men”.

Then it hit me.

If this is happening publicly, then a lot of this must be happening everywhere.

If you haven’t noticed, the “norm” was men married younger women, with lesser achievements and much lesser ambition than the men.

Now, I know there are men who prefer their equals in every sense of the word. However, negative narratives tend to trend more, than the positives.

So I was wondering. Are the men in their 30s and 40s, no longer interested in much younger women? If yes, why?

It’s part of the “whys”, I want to share here.

One of the reasons “some” men go for young things is the promise of innocence — something that is noticeably, conspicuously and painfully absent in today’s 18s to 25yr-olds. But I digress.

Now, females are touted to be more intelligent than males of their age. Few men, can handle that reality. The reality of dating or marrying women smarter than them.

Then there is the issue of, familiarity. Both genders of the same age group know one another too well. So there’s no room to sow any wild oats among your “classmates” because, you will not get away with it. We know the hands they are about to deal, before they even lift their hands.

Guess the female classmates know too much, so the males decided to go younger in their dating choices.

Younger women tend to hero worship older men. When I was 15, I had a wish to date a 30 year old man, because he will be more matured, more responsible, less of a playboy and ready to get married.

Now am I glad, that wish never came true. Because I probably would have been played, by a man or men, whose tricks are totally unfamiliar to me, but completely familiar with women their age.

This is why players and egoistic men go for young women. Just as men have the advantage of innocence and naivety of the young women on their side, the young women have the illusion that older men have the means and maturity to make their romantic wishes of happily-ever-after, come true.

Younger women were the clay and the older men were the potters. A lot of this relationships worked because one was the revered “lord of the Manor” while the other was the starry-eyed “student” whose “professor” could do no wrong.

Then things changed. There were a lot more Amber Heard-y younger women, than the gentle, “Yes m’lord” younger women. And men with strict preferences for younger women began to panic. Because some of them have already been in Johnny Depp shoes. Those who haven’t, are watching what is happening or they have friends who have been abused by some cute younger women.

And now, the men are beginning to see their female equals with new eyes. Women they have once scorned for being too much. Too opinionated, too competitive(successful), too “feminist”(not wanting to be subject), too rich, too high maintenance (has good taste), too “old”, and so on.

This must be an epiphany for men, who want younger women for the wrong reasons. They are being served, and they don’t like the meal. The innocence is gone. Their mates seem more innocent than the younger women who “served” them in ways they didn’t bargain for.

Now, I am miffed. Because I was beginning to fantasise about marrying a younger man. Yes. And why not? Priyanka Chopra and Meghan Markle are a bit older in age than their husbands, so what the heck?

Ironic, how both Priyanka and Meghan had a lot of bad press. I wonder why. One can only hope, it wasn’t because they “dared” to marry rich eligible bachelors who are younger than them! One can only hope. But even if it was. Millennial women grow more beautiful but “thicker” skin as they age. So what’s “bad press” gotta do with it?

Now that our classmates seem to be coming home to roost, I think we would like to know where the “hey” they have been. Because, they are not getting any welcome anything from me.

If you’re going to consider your “classmates” make sure it’s not one of those who had scorned you and gone after your younger sisters’ classmates.

You deserve better than a “burnt-out dude”. You didn’t wait this long to have the “left overs” of your younger ones. That is a humongous insult, upon monumental injury.

Do. Not. Settle. With. Anyone, who didn’t see you as a first option.

You have come this far. Pray that God connects you with the right man who will see you as all he’s ever wanted and all he will ever want, in a loving and cherishing way.

I know the wait has been long. But hold on. Don’t give up. Don’t compromise. Don’t settle with less.

Believe and trust God for the best, and God in His mercy will fulfill the good desires of our hearts in accordance to His will, in the might name of Jesus Christ.

Hold on…Your full scale laughter is closer to you than you think. Stay close to God and hold your peace. 🌺💐🍇

Christian Musings, Jehovah, Life, Poem, Purpose and life's mission, Singles' issues

I Wish…I Hope…I Warn

I wish I’m that person you turn to for succour…after God

I wish I am that person you see, that light up your world …after God

I wish I’m that person that makes your heart glad___

I wish I’m that person__

_that is an out-of-this-world experience…

An aroma, essence like the Heavenly brew…

Because its a brew so Heavenly it exceeds your expectations…

You can only find me, if your Heavenly senses are sharpened…enlightened.

Without your Heavenly senses

You will wonder…

Like the woman at the well

Who had wondered from man to man

Seeking…

Seeking who to quench her thirst…

Knowing it was a man who had the key of wisdom🔑

To unlock the mystery of her need

Knowing not what man it was, she wondered still

Until she came to the 8th Man…

JESUS CHRIST

And she knew that her search was over…

For she was led to the spring from within

From whence cometh, water that quenches thirst forever…

She need not seek for nor fetch from wells…

That leave her wanting…

Do not wait too long

To find your own Heavenly brew…

Who knows?

It might be given to another…

More…worthy…than you

As it was with Vashti

Who was replaced by Esther…

Sharpen your Heavenly senses and hasten your search

That it might be said of you…

“The Heavenly brew exceeded his expectations.”

February 2022 Writing Prompts Week 1 (February 1-7) – The heavenly brew exceeded his expectations.
Christian Musings, Movies and lessons learnt, Singles' issues

There’s Always Better

I was musing about so many things and it was about men staying or not staying being made to be women’s responsibility.

Or let me put it this way.

A woman being told or rather taught over the years, that she is responsible for how a man behaves, if he stays or not in a relationship.

This kind of thinking or mindset has made women vulnerable to a lot of terrible decisions, situations and outcomes.

A woman who thinks that keeping ‘her’ man, and a man staying in a relationship, not staying in a marriage or a man not straying, is dependent on how submissive and how well-behaved she is, how she pampers the man how much of herself she gives up. Such women are in danger of getting into a relationship with any man. Afterall, it is alleged that it’s their responsibility, what the man does or doesn’t do, so any man will do.

Then I thought about the movie I had watched recently it’s called “Raisin in the Sun”. A woman went to a store to buy apples. As she checked the apples she found the apples were bad. Then she asked,

Could you please get me better apples and I know you have better apples in your store apart from the ones you have displayed.”
And the man said something about not making the apples and all of that but he will check. As he was heading into the inner part of the store to get her better apples, another lady comes in and she asks if she could have a basket of apples from your inner store and he readily agrees.

When he came back for the previous customer he gave her what was worse than what she saw on display.

And she was like,

“Am I paying for the worms too?”

Then the attendant replied, “That’s what we have. If you don’t want it you can leave.”

She was like, “You know what? I am not buying them. There’s is a better store.”

I think the word that got me then was there is a better store.

How many times have we women picked the wrong people to be with because we did not think there was any better anywhere?

We thought if we could not find the best of what we wanted from a place — a particular place — then we can’t find good anywhere else.

Now some people would have just swallowed their dignity and bought the bad apples for bragging rights of “I got my apples from an exclusive store“.

But how does that serve you in the end if the apples are terrible, full of worms and then you paid a premium for it; when you didn’t think you could get any better anywhere else?

But this character believed she could get better and she did!

Now it was not in a store but it was like a grocery stand and the fruits there were beautiful, colourful, fresh…..

She could pick from the best. What I got from there is that there are better.

There are other stores. That is what I got from the above described.

How many women have settled because the man was high-priced with every woman’s quote and unquote ideal man? They did not have the courage to think that there was better somewhere else that — there could be better someone else; because really you could not get what you wanted from a high price store.

Let’s bring it back now to what we women do alot.

We shop for clothes, wardrobe generally speaking. So you go to that store to buy clothes. And its in one of the choicest areas at a high price store and address.

Their cheapest clothes, cost you more than 70% of your salary. The clothes are not even your taste, they don’t fit you, they don’t size you. They look so drab. So to your own eyes anyway they are ugly. You can’t believe anyone would actually buy that.

People want that dress, it is some people’s dream dress it’s just not yours. Which is why you should ask yourself why you should buy the dress, but out of pride and because we don’t want to look like we don’t have money especially when the attendants in the store are looking down their noses at you.

They are probably thinking, “Look at the way she is dressed. Does she even think she can afford a dress like this?” They are already looking down on you and you want to prove to them that, “Yes I can afford it!” So against better judgement, against wise internal council, you whip out your credit card or your atm card and you make a purchase of a dress you don’t like; with an exorbitant amount you cannot afford and then of course you feel better when the eyes of the sales attendant lights up and all of a sudden they recognise you, they see you–

And that is how a lot of women pick their husbands high-priced, famous, well known, from a great family background, costing them more than they can afford to give of themselves — cost anybody more than they should be able to give of themselves. Leaving them emotionally bankrupt for the rest of their lives, just so that they can show everyone that they can have a great catch, they can snag a great man, that everybody wants for themselves.

A lot of us where we go to stores to buy clothes When we step into a place that cost more than we can afford, for a dress that is not our taste. The sane thing to do, the sensible thing to do if we were thinking straight is to say to ourselves that, “Well I cannot afford this dress. And even if I can afford it, it’s not my style. Aaaand I don’t like how I’m being treated here.”

So you get out and find a better store. A better store where you will find amazing clothes. The kind of clothes you like, your taste. You feel like you could buy out the whole store and its would not do any major damage to your salary and you go to the store. A store where they are probably having their spring cleaning. You’re like, “I can’t believe this!” while there are amazing clothes that you like. You’re wondering, “For these clothes to be this cheap are they original? Are they new or second hand?”

But even before you can ask that question you can see the brand tag on the cloth for you to know that this clothes are new.

You are like, “O ye store. Where have you been all my life?” You know? And then you get to meet new people the environment, the ambience is just welcoming and soothing. And then you get to meet people who are picking clothes right along with you.

You are able to meet amazing people when you start a conversation and then you agree on a lot of things while you’re picking clothes and you even help others to pick the right clothes for them because they ask you.

You could have missed all that, if you had stayed where you were not really wanted. Where someone thought without them your life was nothing and then you didn’t get enough courage to find better.

You could have missed, someone who is all of so many wonderful things, but treat you like their own life is better because you are in it. And they come with family, they come with friends that take an instant liking to you.

Treat you very well and say, “You know what? If this man does something you don’t like report him to me and I will shape him up! Look you are the best thing that happened to this man and he is much happier, much relaxed with you in his life. We can’t afford to lose you!”

They have more prestige and much more standing in the society, than who you were willing to settle with.

Why have a trophy husband when you can have the best, that the only cost you have to pay is you being you? You don’t have to exert yourself. You are appreciated for the you, that even you hardly appreciates.

If you don’t get anything out of all I have written so far, please get this:

There’s always better. Never settle.

There’s a difference between settling and contentment.

When you choose what you need above what you want, it’s contentment.

When you choose brand over quality, or you choose “popular” over your needs, then you are settling.

Hope for better and seek for the best.

Shalom!

Christian Musings, Life, Parenting Series, Purpose and life's mission, Singles' issues, Stories

Mama’s Advise

“Careful. Don’t catch feelings.” Iré cautioned her daughter.

Emira chuckled. “Feelings aren’t the virus, mama.”

“Don’t be absurd. You know darned well what I’m talking about.” Iré huffed.

Emira sighed.

“Remember, how important your faith is to you. That alone is a deal, marriage, and heart breaker. Unless he’s a Biblical Christian, what brought you together will not hold you together.”

Weekend Writing Prompt #203 – Absurd
Christian Musings, Life, Purpose and life's mission, Singles' issues, Stories

Emira and Friends

It was a video call with her friends on their TGIF girls’ date night.

“Where did you say, you’re again, Emira?”

“India.”

“What are you doing yonder?”

“Work related favour.”

“Any hot guys yet?”

Her deputy.

“Ye-ah. And nope, don’t wanna jaw ’bout it.”

Weekend Writing Prompt #202 – Yonder
Life, Parenting Series, Sanguine thoughts, Singles' issues, Stories

A (Minor?)Breach of Privacy

Dear Diary,

Should it make any marginal difference if I don’t have a New Year Resolution?

“Yes it should”, Crownie’s mother said indignantly over her daughter’s shoulder.

Crownie jumped and shrieked.

Weekend Writing Prompt #190 – Marginal
Christian Musings, Sanguine thoughts, Singles' issues

Beauty Within

Hello Everyone!

I was reading Isaiah 53 until I halted at verse 2. Now, that doesn’t seem long, but it was talking about the Messiah, in a way I had not read before.

Verse two, halted me to a point I had to write what came to mind.

“”For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he had no form nor comeliness and when we shall see him there is no beauty that we should desire him

What?! Are they implying that Jesus was not handsome?!

Not only that. That verse emphasised that he was not desirable to look upon either — beauty wise.

Then I smiled wryly.

Maybe that was why women were not beating down his door for marriage.

I imagined he must have been comfortable and safe for the women — after all if I read this verse right — Jesus wasn’t a hottie.

But he had a heart of gold; prepared to die for mankind to be saved, and then demonstrated the love, that a married couple should have for each other — how a husband should love his wife and how a wife should relate to her husband — though he was never married.

Then I thought of how women will not find a man attractive because he’s not that attractive. And how women could often miss out, on being with a good man, like Jesus who may not have been beautiful, comely, attractive.

I just wonder, “How many Jesus-like men do we have, that single women are missing out on?!”

This is a sore subject for a lot of women. They miss out on the right kind of man because they are looking for the right kind of look, rather than looking at the heart of the man — his ability and willingness to love, to cherish, guide, befriend and protect.

Most times we just befriend them and make ourselves the matchmaker; deciding who is good or not good enough for him, without thinking we could be that woman.

Why befriend a man you can’t marry?

Why befriend him? Especially if you know that he wants more than friendship with you?

I know you have to pray and ask for God’s direction, but make sure, that you are not throwing away something good because he does not look hot enough.

We usually can sense a good man when we see him. Make your choice! Do not play with a man’s feelings.

And don’t stand in the way.

Don’t be the gatekeeper standing in the way, to scrutinize any woman that might be the woman, you have refused to be, for him.

Be woman enough, to make your decision and stand with it — even if and when you have to stand alone.

Stay safe, stay healthy and SHALOM 🍋

Christian Musings, Purpose and life's mission, Singles' issues, Stories

The Meeting

Emira observed her deputy with her side-eye. 

Though she didn’t want to admit it even to herself, He was a whistling wonder.

From his well-defined facial structure to his slim build that she didn’t need anyone to tell her was a well-muscled build. 

However, it was his eyes that were most compelling. Dark with a hint of gold, when it caught the light at a certain angle.

 Like now.

His eyes were saying nothing but everything.

Emira sighed inside. She supposes she was her mother’s daughter. She has a thing for eyes and she learnt from her mama how to read them.

“Or what do you think?” General Tailap asked her.

Oh. My. God. 

Did she just blank out on the conversation?! Wonderful.

She shook her head ruefully, “I am sorry, Uncle. But I was lost in thought. Could you repeat what you said?”

Or what do you think?” General Tailap looked serious even as his eyes danced in merriment. Suggesting he knew why she was distracted.

Emira nearly rolled her eyes at him, “No Uncle. The statement that led to that!” 

If you can recall how the bandit that got away looks, we could send some soldiers after him.” A soothing but intense male voice drawled beside her.

There ought to be a law against that kind of voice. O God help me. Emira prayed.

She took a deep breath to clear her head. “Thank you, Colonel. We would send soldiers after him alright. But it will be to lead us to the bandits’ associates in town. The soldiers have to be plainly clothed, of course. Dressed like peasants and probably even pretending to hawk some wares.”

The General looked excited. “Excellent idea, Emira. Though you have yet to describe him.”

He wore a yellow bandana. Bald, slightly reddish skin. Tall, slim and pretty, you know a bit more feminine facial features.”

“Interesting,” The Colonel said.

“You can describe that to our military artist, to draw. That way our men’s search will be easier.” General Tailap suggested.

“Great. So when do I get to meet this artist?” Emira asked.

“You are sitting next to him.” Uncle Tailap said.

What! This is dangerous. I need to complain to my mama ASAP. 


August Writing Prompt #15 He wore a yellow bandana #20 He was a whistling wonder #29 Saying nothing but everything