Christian Musings, Life, Parenting Series, Purpose and life's mission, Singles' issues, Stories

Mama’s Advise

“Careful. Don’t catch feelings.” Iré cautioned her daughter.

Emira chuckled. “Feelings aren’t the virus, mama.”

“Don’t be absurd. You know darned well what I’m talking about.” Iré huffed.

Emira sighed.

“Remember, how important your faith is to you. That alone is a deal, marriage, and heart breaker. Unless he’s a Biblical Christian, what brought you together will not hold you together.”

Weekend Writing Prompt #203 – Absurd
Christian Musings, Life, Parenting Series, Purpose and life's mission, Stories

A Call to Rescue and Nurture

Dear Mama, Susie and Janie,

Serving as a missionary on God’s call in Africa has been an adventure

A 👶🏿 wail interrupted Mary’s letter-writing, followed by another👶🏾.

‘Suppose I’ll continue later, Mary thought, as she fed the wee twins she’d recently rescued.

Mary Slessor

Weekend Writing Prompt #197 – Call
Life, Parenting Series, Sanguine thoughts, Singles' issues, Stories

A (Minor?)Breach of Privacy

Dear Diary,

Should it make any marginal difference if I don’t have a New Year Resolution?

“Yes it should”, Crownie’s mother said indignantly over her daughter’s shoulder.

Crownie jumped and shrieked.

Weekend Writing Prompt #190 – Marginal
Christian Musings, Parenting Series, Purpose and life's mission, Stories

Fight, Kim. Not Run (Yet)

Hello, Wonderfully Made Folks! I know it’s hard on a lot of us, as we are required to stay home and dress like a surgeon, anytime we have a (very important) NEED to go out. But I believe like one heroine says, “this too shall pass”.

Thirty minutes prior to typing this post, I was watching on Instagram, Monique, an Oscar Award winner, boxing in the gym. And she was encouraging us to fight for our health and well-being.

Then I watched a commentary, about a Black soul singer whose name is being snatched from her, by a singing group who happen to be mostly white. I said mostly because they look white to me.

The name they are both dragging is Lady A. What I learnt from this though, is this:

Focusing on growth is good, but you need to PROTECT your brand like it’s worth one trillion. Copyright ©️ and safeguard your works, ideas, name… everything, so if anyone wants to blindside or rob you, they would have to pay dearly for the attempt.

Now I’m race-right/light/good, fighting against race-wrong/evil/dark. My racial ideology consists of more than colour, culture, or location.

But I am aware that racism and racial superiority complex exist and many black people are at the receiving end of having their ideas, works, brand and names stolen from them; and the system seems biased in favour of the thieves. 

Then the coup de grace happened, while I was watching a commentary of Kanye & Kim’s current situation. And that just drove me here to speak my mind.

Already, I have been seeing and hearing their names being mentioned with tension, with some folks being too gleeful about it.

Now, when glee is laced with the mention of this couple, you know it is not a jolly time for the couple. I’m not a fan of either, because I can’t relate to their lifestyle, but that doesn’t warrant wishing them ill will, now does it?

Well, according to the commentator (who was sounding too sunny by the way, but I would like to think that’s his natural manner of speaking), Kanye had tweeted that his wife, Kim, is a white supremacist! That among other accusations. (What! On twitter — in public– for goodness sake!)

You know. This is why I tried to encourage us in the first paragraph of this post. Because this stay-at-home pandemic seems to be shaking “things” out of people. 

Maybe it’s having to stay indoors all day every day with people you hardly spend time with, that is pushing people to the limit of their endurance. Dr D.K. Olukoya once said, that when people are shaken like a bottle, it’s what is in them that will come out. If nothing is in them, nothing will come out!

The world is going through shaking, and a lot is coming out.

Back to the couple.

So Kim’s reply was that she is considering divorce. Well, my humble opinion is that Kim should consider fighting on Kanye’s turf.

When I say fight here’s what I mean:

Kanye: My wife is a white supremacist etc…

Kim: Hey husband!😲 Take that back! That isn’t funny😐

See? That’s fighting. Since he’s decided to publicly accuse her, then she should publicly reply him. Like they are having a private argument/conversation gone public. Politeness is required and easy to do, because typing your thoughts and response, is slower than a verbal response. Written words can be edited for better understanding and communication, but no spoken words.

Running away and not addressing what he has tweeted, puts a stamp of credibility to his accusations.

I understand that it hurts because a husband is supposed to be his wife’s cover, confidant, mentor, friend, and supportive critique (not public!) among other things.

However, I don’t know what has been brewing behind closed doors. But whatever the case may or may not be, don’t/shouldn’t they have a marriage counsellor in their corner, they can talk to anytime talking to each other, is not working?

I had to give you a preview of what I had fed on before reaching this couple’s issue. Because I think that is what inspired the theme fight, in this post.

It was Nelson Mandela who said, “Speak to a man in a language he understands, and it goes to his head. Speak to a man in his own language, and it goes to his heart.”

Obviously, speaking to Kanye’s head might be out of the question for Kim. But I think she ought to fight, by speaking to his heart in his own language.

At this moment, he’s speaking twitter. Good. Then have a conversation with and engage him on twitter.

I heard she’s a lawyer now. It’s time to use those skills to defend herself in the court of public opinion and bring her husband to heel.

I guess it’s for the best, she have a “Red Table Talk” kind of conversation, with her husband on twitter.

She needs to politely ask him to prove his accusations and if he can’t or his accusations are found to be untrue, she must firmly and respectfully demand he gives her a public twitter apology — since that’s where it became public.

Fight Kim, but don’t run away by getting a divorce. 

Stay safe and healthy!

Shalom!

https://puttingmyfeetinthedirt.com/2020/07/01/july-writing-prompts-2/ #10 Regretful Happenings 

Parenting Series, Poem, Stories

Chronicles of the Crown: The Storm

Indira was in deep thoughts. Not unlike the dark clouds gathering. It looked like it was going to rain. Her first rain in her husband’s empire. 

The wind breezed through the palace, stirring her red-gold hair and her clothes as she lounged on a plush couch. Looking at her, with hair gently billowing, it would look like she was the mistress of storm.

Except Indira felt less mistress of anything, though you couldn’t tell just by looking at her.

Brunnie as Indira’s cousin called her, babbled as she toddled to the window couch. 

Indira watched her adopted daughter grunt with determination as she struggled to climb the couch.

Indira smiled as Brunnie knelt on the couch, peering outside longingly as she babbled “Papa” in reference to her husband.

Ah yes, Indira sighed remembering the main subject of her morose thoughts. Her husband.

The man was not listening to her where his safety was concerned.

She looked at her daughter who often made her way to the window watching for her “papa“, whenever he had been out for long. 

If that man made a widow of her with his continuous liaison with the enemy, she doubts she will forgive him — even if he had a beautiful soul.

Beauty flows from the queen’s hair like the threatening of a storma husky male voice whispered.

Indira eyes fluttered open and blinked, as she looked into her husband’s eyes. She didn’t realise she had fallen asleep.

Brunnie babbled in her papa’s arms. As he shifted her to his side, she noticed the sun was out, though the air was still cool. 

As she got up, and hugged him around the neck, she had a relieved smile on her face. 

“You were not worried were you?” He hugged his queen’s waist. 

“I was. Was that a poem?” Indira asked in amusement.

“It was”, he declared with a serious face though his eyes were alight with merriment.

Indira couldn’t help herself. She laughed. 

It’s good to hear her laugh. The king thought, as he smiled.

https://puttingmyfeetinthedirt.com/2020/06/01/june-2020-writing-prompts/ #8.A Hint of rain 


Life, Parenting Series

A Daughter’s Hero, A Father’s Legacy.

Hello Beautiful People! I hope you are keeping safe and sound.

21st June was Father’s Day. 

A bittersweet day for a girl who has lost her first earthly hero. As it’s rightly said, a girl’s hero is her father. 

However, like Elisha having to watch Prophet Elijah his mentor, a man he called My Father, “charioted” up to Heaven; all I am left with, is the Mantle that flutters down as I begin to feel my father’s absence. That, and all the memories.

The memories of tough discipline, gentle instructions, his listening patient ears, as I nearly chatter his ears off… By the way? If my father didn’t loose his handsome ears for all my yakking, then no one can loose theirs for listening to others. Just said, I should put that out there.

I learnt the art of listening (eventually) because my father listened to me.

Because of that, I tried to do as he instructed, because I didn’t want to displease the only one after God who understood me.

It was a journey for him, because as a child I remember him, saying he didn’t understand me, usually, after I have been caught in an indiscretion. He would scold me. Then he gets real quiet, as if he was trying to solve the great mystery behind my behaviour. And then, like he was speaking to himself, he would say, “I can’t just understand…”

And I would feel sad and then resolve to not worry my daddy again. Which unfortunately, never happened.

Eventually, he began to understand me, and he began to teach me on what to do.

My dad is an angel. 

I adore my daddy and I miss him. I suspect I always will.

Now, his Mantel has rested right on the floor in front of me.

I just need to pick up my courage and the Mantle to cross the Jordan river….

Shalom.


Business/Career, Christian Musings, Parenting Series, Purpose and life's mission, Sanguine thoughts

Entrepreneurship: Why?

Hello WondeBeau People!

It’s been long since I have been here — and I know I say that all the time or at least most of the time, so please bear with me. 

Starting a business is very trendy, especially in this fast and sometimes jaw-dropping millennium we find ourselves.

If you are not starting a business, you are mostly seen and regarded as a “lazy coward” — which I must say isn’t mostly true

Starting a business is more in vogue than anything the fashion plate has to offer. Infact, owning a business is the fashion plate.  



I think the — permit me to use this word — craze for owning a business stems from the wanting to be independent, or rather the declaration of independence.

After all, if you start a business, it’s a serious and responsible thing you are doing. And people will commend your folks on how well they’ve raised you, for you to venture out on your own. Even if your folks are unsure of what you’re about but they have a pretty good idea why you are about it, they will be forced to half-heartedly acknowledge that you are indeed doing something noteworthy. But…

I must say, that’s probably the most inspiring trend that has come out of this generation. I mean you can’t really blame our parents for being sceptical.

Their child who has always been getting into one scrap or the other, with parents having to clean up after them, wondering what on earth they’ve done to deserve their ordeal. And half wondering if their past — whatever that may have been — is demanding payment from them through their carefree juvenile of a child.

Then all of a sudden, the child who probably is now a teen or young adult becomes serious — way too serious for comfort and the parents are thinking, “Here we go again!”

Here they are, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Next thing is, “I want to start this business…”

And they’re thinking, “What now. Is s/he doing drugs?

Then they find out — in most cases — that their children has indeed found his/her legal genius. There was never a time they thought their children weren’t geniuses. They simply were geniuses in the wrong.

So most of the time startups had to get support from self and maybe later from the government or NGOs that support new business ventures.

It’s trilling to say, I’m an entrepreneur. Or I’m self-employed.

What does it mean? And most importantly what does it take be an entrepreneur?

Sometimes, starting a business is an avenue to vent your spleen, to release your pent up emotions or to release something that had been suppressed. To show those who think you are nobody, that you will be somebody.

I think that’s a fantastic productive way of fighting the demons — as long as you don’t run out of steam. Or you have plans on how to continue when you run out of steam.

There’s something about starting a business that exposes your weaknesses and flaws.

You need to know how to manage yourself before you can effectively and efficiently manage a business.

Earlier I was presented a question on: How do you define self-management as a lady? (even auto correct is wondering ‘what da hey?’)

Apparently this was asked in a job interview (phenomenal).

I didn’t know how to answer that question because I wasn’t familiar with that word. 

I could have responded by saying, ‘the ability to manage yourself’ and that would have been too cheeky of me. So as I usually handled things I didn’t understand, I shelved it.

The first thing that came to mind was organisation. Being able to coordinate yourself in an organised manner in a way that enhances productivity — no matter what you might be going through and irrespective of your stress level.

Now, it would be nice if that describes me, but it doesn’t — at the moment.

I express how I feel, I don’t manage it — though I’m trying to. 

Now I suspect that if you’re been asked that question in an interview, they want to find out if you can keep your personal life personal, without allowing it spill into your work life, thereby affecting how productive you are. Never crack, or fall apart no matter what. 

In other words, self-management involves your health: Taking sick leave or being physically sluggish at work, could probably be defined by the employer as, not being able to manage your health, thereby affecting your work!

If one has family problems and becomes distracted and lethargic at work, that may be defined as: being unable to control your emotions making logic and reason difficult in the work place!

If you just had your baby (congratulations!) and you need ma/paternity leave and/or extra breaks during work to take care of yourself and your babies, then you may be termed as: being unable to separate work from family/personal matters thereby reducing productivity in the work place!

In other words, whatever keeps you from giving your 100% at work is no business of the company.

What they are asking is, can you keep working per demand irrespective of what may or may not be going on in your life?

I may be overthinking things of course, but I can’t help but think this is a trick question meant to qualify, disqualify or trap an unsuspecting applicant. By the time the would-be employee knows what this is or may be about, it would have been too late to have a say in the matter.

I mean, self-management?! Come on.

Which is probably one of the major reasons why people are overcoming their fear of starting businesses and launching into the world of entrepreneurship, head first.

The other option is becoming less and less of an option. Working for someone else is becoming more unconducive by the day. Some are fortunate to work with companies who are humane and truly care for the overall well-being of their staff, but many don’t have that fortune.

The code word for this millennium is freedom. Having your own business, seems to be the only way to gain your financial independence, while maintaining your freedom of what, when and how you compromise…..

Shalom! 

Christian Musings, Parenting Series, Purpose and life's mission

Millenial Parenting 2.0

Hello Wonderful People 

From last post, I was writing about parenting of today and how it is deforming the upcoming generation. 

It seems easier and more convenient to give money to children in exchange for real commitment and communication.

I understand that today’s world is so fast that it makes it hard to keep track of what happens around us; but if we are willing, we can be partners with our children to build their destinies. 

This means you can’t take the high handed, know-it-all approach to parenting. 

Parenting takes leadership and leadership is through example of leading yourself, walking the talk and being sincere/honest about your struggles. 

My heartfelt thanks goes to those who are pouring the best of themselves into their children, guiding them towards God, helping them to discover and maximize their potentials. You are indeed the true legends of our time, because you are building legacies. Thank you. I pray you reap and enjoy the fruits of your labour, in Jesus Christ name. Amen. 

I believe most absentee parents are absent because they are still busy chasing their personal demons — or being chased by their personal demons. 

These demons drive their career obsessions —  obsession for recognition, money, power, fame. And it’s never enough, at the expense of every other thing or person in their lives. 

Such people run scared everytime commitment and communication stares them in the face. This is because they are afraid of what might spill out of them if they open up; since commitment and communication takes opening up — sometimes it takes being honest and  vulnerable.

It’s often said, you can’t give what you don’t have. But I think it’s more of, not knowing or willing, than not having. That is, it’s not the absence of love, commitment etc, but the not knowing how to love and commit, or not willing to give what it takes.

After all, we are wired or made for relationships. Therefore we have what it takes to create, nurture and build meaningful relationships. 

However, it takes a level of selflessness to have a meaningful relationship. 

And since there’s so much talk to focus on self and self only, relationship are now used as means to further the self agenda only.  Not caring if the others involved, are heading to hell in a hand basket — unless if there’s more juice to squeeze of them. 

At the end of the day, it was all about what to squeeze out of others to further boost self. Therefore, the motto of those who have gotten drunk on self,  who worship at the shrine of self is: 

What’s in it for me?

 Whatever involves personal investment, is of no interest to them. 

If that isn’t narcissism, then I don’t know what it is. 

Now, does that mean we should not care for ourselves and look out for our best interests?

Of course not. 

But the point is: treat others the way you want to be treated, and in the same vein never allow others to treat you like you don’t treat others. 

You can go a step further, and treat others the way they desire to be treated. 

Okay, so you are like, What? am I to be subject to other people’s desires? 

Well, no. 

But take for instance, some people don’t mind or don’t care  — at least that’s what they say — others making fun of them or discussing their past, or gossiping about them. 

Does that give them the permission to gossip and make fun of others?

Well, I say NO! 

I recalled watching a show were basically all the host does is mostly to analyze, dissect and talk about others, especially in scandalous circumstances. 

Don’t ask me, why I watch the show. 

I have asked myself the same question, and I don’t have a coherent answer. Yet. 

I don’t want to think I’m probably as guilty as the host, for watching how people are nearly torn apart. But in my defence, I don’t watch it all the time. And the times I do watch, is when I’m trying to make sense of a crazy situation going on. 

So, this particular episode was about a man who mentioned an ex during an interview. Apparently, the husband of his ex was not happy about that, so the husband came out and saying he didn’t want the man and some others talking about his wife. 

Now, one would expect the man to simply out of respect, take note and not talk about the ex — who happens to be a married woman now — again. 

Well no. He too ‘clapped back’ saying no one should tell him what to do or say. If he was asked a question he would answer, regardless of who was involved.

My questions:

Was that really necessary? Where did mutual respect and consideration for others go to? 

What was worse, was that a woman was in support of a woman’s past being talked about like that. That’s definitely a topic for another day. 

You might wonder what all these show talk has to do with parenting. 

Well, the people involved are parents!!

If the man didn’t care about his ex, could he be considerate towards her children? By not giving school bullies ammunition to torture these children in school or social gatherings? 

And we all know how children can be mean to one another. 

I don’t know why some people don’t think, before talking. Especially, when they are supposed to be adults — who also happen to have children. 

What are they teaching their children? 

That it’s okay to say what you want, how and when you want without any thought for who might be hurt? 

On a side note: These are things I think feminists should speak against — considering it involves a woman. 

Till next time, stay rapturable.

Shalom 💜🌎💚

Christian Musings, Parenting Series, Purpose and life's mission

Millenial Parenting

Hello WonderBeau People! 

In my last post, I asked what topic you would like me to post about. 

After a whatsapp chat with a reader, the reader asked that I write a piece on absentee parents. 

A large part of the chat was about how unrestrained children are these days and the role the parents of today are playing or not playing as the case may be. 

Real parenting seems to have deteriorated over time. 

I will tell you what I mean. 

While I was growing up, children my age were popularly referred to as children of now-a-days. 

That reference was of a derogatory nature, followed with a huge world-weary sigh of long-suffering tolerance. 

And if, our elders were not too tired of our shenanigans, they would launch into comparisons between their time and these days. 

They would go back memory lane of how they dared not think, much less do, what we children did way too easily for — or should I say against — the comfort of their strict upbringing. 

If someone had told me, I would find myself saying the same thing our parents and their parents were saying about my age group, as adolescents, I would have argued the point. But here am I thinking “children and teens of these days”. But I digress. 

In our grandparents’ days, theirs was mostly communal parenting.

They often recalled how they couldn’t get away with anything even if they tried — and try they did. But they always got caught, sooner than later, because there were eyes everywhere. And someone was bound to report a misdemeanor to the family of the miscreant. 

Isn’t that the grandchild of so and so?” An observing elder would muse to the neighbour.

Elder 2 will squint their eagle eyes  and say, “Sure is.”

Before, the cocky lad or lass gets home, an itinerary of their escapades has been given to the family. 

With a few clever questions, the truth or the lies have been discovered to chagrin of the youngster. Disciplinary actions are swiftly taken, of course. 

Apparently, in a system like that, you were forced to behave and act accordingly. Otherwise, there will be immediate consequences. 

People assisted one another back then. Communities came together to help individuals and nuclear families to stand on their feet. There was more of inter-dependence than independence. Those were the days when trade by batter was how they lived and the means of exchange. 

Having money was not a strong desire, but belonging to a community

Belonging to a community, was how you grew, how you have security, how you survived — like a herd. 

You were protected because everyone was looking out for you and others. People had and covered one another’s backs, because all they had was one another. 

Since farming and animal husbandry were the major occupations, they had barn raisings. Were a community would come and assist in building a house and barn for a family. They made a community party.

It would seem that animals know how to live better than us these days, because we don’t move in herds…sorry…community anymore.

It’s all about me, myself, and I country. Commitment issues are flying around all over the place and no wonder. We never really learned the essence of being committed to were one has chosen to belong. 

Even basic friendship sucks these days. You hear people say, you can be out of touch with someone for years and if you reconnect like you never parted ways then *that* was friendship. 

Can you believe such hogwash? I couldn’t believe my eyes when I first read it on social media — yep — social media, of all places. I felt sick to my stomach after reading that. I just couldn’t digest it. It was that bad. Horrible, in fact.

My first thought was, who took it upon themselves to check up on the other all those years the “friends” were incommunicado?

How can you even call someone your friend when you have no idea what they’re doing or how they are doing? 

Like I said, the evolution of friendship in today’s world is sickening. Is it any coincidence that suicide rate is high? And people who were supposed to be their “friends” cannot account for why they committed suicide? How awful is that? 

They say suicide rate is high these days, because there was a time when it was so low, it was a rarity. And why not? The community knew who was who, because in most cases they cared. They check up on their neighbours. You couldn’t be lonely even if you tried, because your community won’t allow you. That was real community service — not the one related to jail sentence. And if, if someone does take their life, people will be able to tell why. And then, it’s mostly because the victim refuses to accept or ask for help — not because there was no one available or willing to help! 

Interesting how community and communication has so much in common just by looking at them. There’s a certain kind of intimacy that accompanies real community and communication. 

Now we have neither communication nor community. We have deliberately lost them. What is worse, is that we don’t seem to care. 

From what I have observed, it’s tough on two parents trying to raise one child. I can’t imagine how it’s like for single parents. 

Which is why a lot of parents depend heavily on the schools and the government to take some of the burdens away. 

But a lot of today’s parents are depending too much on others to raise their ward. 

I can’t seem to understand how some parents can bare to ship their babies off to boarding schools. I understand late teens having to go because of distance of the school that most matches the teens’ personality, but unfortunately the reasons are more… cold than that. 

Mostly, it has more to do with the parents’ convenience than it is in the children’s geniune best interest. The parents are too busy, the children are too rowdy, they are getting in the way, and whatever else you can think of as excuses. 

Then they come for holidays — that is if  their parents allow them to come home for holidays and they are not shipped off somewhere else until schools resume. If they do come home, once the children get on their nerves, the next thing they’re thinking about, is sending them to summer camps.

Now, I think summer/holiday camps are necessary for teens development and social skills. But what bothers me, is that some parents don’t send their wards to holiday camps for the children’s sake. They do it because, it’s easier for them that their children are not around them. 

So you have many people who don’t know their children and children not knowing their parents, at all. 

Children who feel unwanted, tolerated and are wondering where/were they belong because they never had a real family. 

At this point, someone like me begins to wonder why people bother to have children, when they are: unwilling to be part of their lives, unwilling to invest mentally, emotionally and spiritually into the children’s lives?! 

I don’t understand. Don’t we have enough orphans in the world already? Must we have more children who can’t even enjoy the physical presence of their parents? All they get from their parents is money, money and more money…….

To be continued. 

 Stay rapturable. Shalom.💎💜