Hello Wonderful People
From last post, I was writing about parenting of today and how it is deforming the upcoming generation.
It seems easier and more convenient to give money to children in exchange for real commitment and communication.
I understand that today’s world is so fast that it makes it hard to keep track of what happens around us; but if we are willing, we can be partners with our children to build their destinies.
This means you can’t take the high handed, know-it-all approach to parenting.
Parenting takes leadership and leadership is through example of leading yourself, walking the talk and being sincere/honest about your struggles.
My heartfelt thanks goes to those who are pouring the best of themselves into their children, guiding them towards God, helping them to discover and maximize their potentials. You are indeed the true legends of our time, because you are building legacies. Thank you. I pray you reap and enjoy the fruits of your labour, in Jesus Christ name. Amen.
I believe most absentee parents are absent because they are still busy chasing their personal demons — or being chased by their personal demons.
These demons drive their career obsessions — obsession for recognition, money, power, fame. And it’s never enough, at the expense of every other thing or person in their lives.
Such people run scared everytime commitment and communication stares them in the face. This is because they are afraid of what might spill out of them if they open up; since commitment and communication takes opening up — sometimes it takes being honest and vulnerable.
It’s often said, you can’t give what you don’t have. But I think it’s more of, not knowing or willing, than not having. That is, it’s not the absence of love, commitment etc, but the not knowing how to love and commit, or not willing to give what it takes.
After all, we are wired or made for relationships. Therefore we have what it takes to create, nurture and build meaningful relationships.
However, it takes a level of selflessness to have a meaningful relationship.
And since there’s so much talk to focus on self and self only, relationship are now used as means to further the self agenda only. Not caring if the others involved, are heading to hell in a hand basket — unless if there’s more juice to squeeze of them.
At the end of the day, it was all about what to squeeze out of others to further boost self. Therefore, the motto of those who have gotten drunk on self, who worship at the shrine of self is:
What’s in it for me?
Whatever involves personal investment, is of no interest to them.
If that isn’t narcissism, then I don’t know what it is.
Now, does that mean we should not care for ourselves and look out for our best interests?
Of course not.
But the point is: treat others the way you want to be treated, and in the same vein never allow others to treat you like you don’t treat others.
You can go a step further, and treat others the way they desire to be treated.
Okay, so you are like, What? am I to be subject to other people’s desires?
But take for instance, some people don’t mind or don’t care — at least that’s what they say — others making fun of them or discussing their past, or gossiping about them.
Does that give them the permission to gossip and make fun of others?
Well, I say NO!
I recalled watching a show were basically all the host does is mostly to analyze, dissect and talk about others, especially in scandalous circumstances.
Don’t ask me, why I watch the show.
I have asked myself the same question, and I don’t have a coherent answer. Yet.
I don’t want to think I’m probably as guilty as the host, for watching how people are nearly torn apart. But in my defence, I don’t watch it all the time. And the times I do watch, is when I’m trying to make sense of a crazy situation going on.
So, this particular episode was about a man who mentioned an ex during an interview. Apparently, the husband of his ex was not happy about that, so the husband came out and saying he didn’t want the man and some others talking about his wife.
Now, one would expect the man to simply out of respect, take note and not talk about the ex — who happens to be a married woman now — again.
Well no. He too ‘clapped back’ saying no one should tell him what to do or say. If he was asked a question he would answer, regardless of who was involved.
Was that really necessary? Where did mutual respect and consideration for others go to?
What was worse, was that a woman was in support of a woman’s past being talked about like that. That’s definitely a topic for another day.
You might wonder what all these show talk has to do with parenting.
Well, the people involved are parents!!
If the man didn’t care about his ex, could he be considerate towards her children? By not giving school bullies ammunition to torture these children in school or social gatherings?
And we all know how children can be mean to one another.
I don’t know why some people don’t think, before talking. Especially, when they are supposed to be adults — who also happen to have children.
What are they teaching their children?
That it’s okay to say what you want, how and when you want without any thought for who might be hurt?
On a side note: These are things I think feminists should speak against — considering it involves a woman.
Till next time, stay rapturable.