Christian Musings

Who Should Be a Parent: Demands of Parenting 

He-llo-o Beautiful People of this Global Village! 

Wherever you are from your part of the world, I want to encourage you to;

 make every minute of your day count, like a minute will cost you a quarter of your country’s annual budget. 

From that perspective I believe you know what to do.

On a spiritual note: 

Listening to the Holy Bible, while we do our work outs and chores, helps some of us who have a hard time sitting still long enough to spend quality time reading the scriptures. 

Health Reminder

Drink warm or room temperature water. Swallowing chilled anything congeals the blood.

On fashion:

As a woman, if you are have an athletic build or you have broad shoulders, wear plain and deep coloured tops, with vertical necklines. Then wear bright coloured  prints/patterns/florals as your skirt.

Beauty Tip:

Touch your face only when you want to clean your face or apply skin care. This is mostly for those of us who have break-outs.

I have been posting about millenial parenting recently, and apparently it’s a topic that might span several posts based on the fact that there are different angles to this issue

Parenting is serious business that has to be handled with firm but gentle hands. 

It can be confusing and mind boggling, because you need to have the right balance and flexibility. It’s like doing both extremes at the same time. For example, you can’t be either disciplined or gentle. You need to be both. One can’t be without the other. And to top that, you need to be too much of both, at the same time. 

It’s a message to your children, that you love them too much to let them be undisciplined. It’s like sweetening a bitter medicine they need to swallow so they can live. So they are more likely to take the medicine because it has been sweetened, rather than you having to resort to force feeding. 

Based on this illustration, discipline is needed to live to ones full potential, therefore it’s compulsory to be disciplined. The more disciplined one is, the better chances a person has to be more successful in life. 

It’s easier to live a disciplined life, when a person has been taught that from childhood. It becomes a habit and it stays a habit when the results are outstanding. 

However, the training to be disciplined is very rigorous that more often than not, it breaks the soul or hardens the heart of the trainee. They become distant emotionally. Because discipline demands you ignore your feelings and just get the job done. If that is done often enough, the trainee gets used to not feeling at all. 

In fact, they get to a point were they decide that being emotional is a sign of indiscipline. Lord help whoever marries them in that state. Their spouses who are emotionally active will have a hard time understanding why, someone can be so unfeeling and seem cold. Now, there won’t be a problem if two emotionally distant people marry each other. But, those are rare cases. Who knows? Maybe it’s their soul crying out for a release that attracted them to someone who is highly emotional — without them being aware of what’s going on.

And if their emotions are not awakened before their children come, the children might wonder why one parent is all hugs and kisses, while the other is distant and unfeeling. And then another negative  pattern is forming, because the children will take it personal. They would try to get the attention and please the unresponsive parent who doesn’t seem to love them. And most times they fail and they may turn to rebellion, to the heart break of the loving parent and the silent  disappointment of the distant parent. 

Hence, the call for intense discipline sweetened with lots of love. Love makes the difference on how they decide to apply that discipline. Love is life. 

The Bible says that, if we do all good works, but have no love, then we’ve done nothing. Love coupled with discipline makes great positive impact. Discipline without love makes life a mere routine of dull existence. Love without discipline is life without proper focus. Love helps us identify purpose, but discipline helps us see it through — reach our goal. 

As parents and aspiring parents, we need to understand that parenting is leadership. You lead your children to where/were they need to be. And what that means is, you are as a matter of fact, going to were/where you are leading. In other words, you are being followed, closely by your children, in all you do. 

Now if that scares you, then you need to change your ways. 

Reminds me of a resolution I made recently, concerning who I marry. 

I can understand the good-girl-lovingbad-boy syndrome among staunch Christian women. I mean I’m going through that phase at the moment. I find myself in my past-mid-20s having a crush — a crush for goodness sakes! — for a guy (and I used the word guy intentionally, for obvious reasons) who is at the other extreme of what I want, not to mention need, in a husband. 

So yeah, I understand too well how one can be attracted to ones opposite or the opposite of what one wants. 

But do I make a lifetime decision based on a crush? No! Absolutely not. And my head is shaking side to side in emphasis. 

Why? Some people may ask, can’t I follow my ‘heart’? Well, the heart can be deceptive and I don’t trust it.

I mean, how can I trust a heart that tells me to do the opposite of what I know is best for me?

If I look at a man or guy and I can’t imagine my unborn son dressing, walking, behaving like him, then he’s not to be considered — at all. 

And this is were a lot of women have missed it and unfortunately still missing it. 

They choose a guy who’s not interested in man-ing up. A guy who’s not ready to be settled, responsible. A guy who is not willing to be a husband and father. They chose him because he’s cute and he has a sexy voice. Ha! 

But of course, the smitten woman will not tell you that, because they know you will drag them to church for deliverance while pleading the blood of Jesus over their befuddled self. All they would say is, “He’s a nice guy and he’s got potential. He just needs someone to help him find his way to the Lord.” Ha

Well, I know all the cute, sexy, nice and potential alone, cannot give me the husband I need and the father my babies need. 

Let’s not forget that when we are shopping for a spouse, we are also shopping for a father/mother for our unborn children.

Enough said. 

So we need to watch were/where we go or are going. If your children can’t go somewhere, then you — yes you! — can not go there either. Children always have an inclination to be or do in multiples, what we are doing — even in private. Because children are wired to do or copy what you are doing whether they see you do it, or not.

So if you have planted a seed you don’t want to reap, you had better uproot it. Because whatever is planted comes back hundred fold. If that scares you, then change your ways.

My conclusion for this segment, is if you want loving and disciplined children, then you need to be loving and disciplined. Show them how, with your actions, then allow them to interpret your demonstrations in their own understanding. As long as they are not committing a crime or sin, it fine to be flexible.

I recall reading a post, or a quote by a well-known billionaire. He was reported to have said, he likes giving difficult jobs to lazy people, because they find easy ways to do the job. 

Understand that everyone is a unique person on their own. Therefore don’t force your children to do the right thing, your own way only. If you do, you will squash their creativity, their ability to think independently; sort through challenges without external influence and be confident enough to take decisions on their own. 

Love and discipline means nothing if you can’t teach children to stand alone with God. 

Till next time, stay rapturable. 

Shalom!🌍🏞

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