Many a time or on few occasions, we might come across pious hypocrisy, in usual and unusual places. And even in ourselves sometimes.
It’s interesting to note, that people are often guilty of what they accuse others of. So if we find ourselves falling into wrong assumptions on the regular, then we need to examine ourselves in that area and make corrections were necessary.
We shouldn’t feel too bad when we are confronted with it. What matters most is what we do with it.
Reminds me of this oldies song that goes:
“Now that we found love, what are we gonna do, with it?”
Now that a flaw or fault has been found, what we going to do about it? Are we going to excuse it, defend it, or cover it up either with ‘good deeds’ or pointing at other people’s faults, just to get people’s attention/focus — and ours for that matter — away from our flaws and faults?
After all, the worst flaw, is when there’s a flaw and the flawed person is deliberately and pretentiously oblivious to the flaw. Same thing with any other thing.
It doesn’t argur well for us to indulge in self-deception, or play ostrich. Not confronting and dealing decisively with our issues does more harm to the person concerned, than to others who are also being deceived.
Now does that mean, if we are confronted with the wrong in others apart from ourselves, we should say and do nothing, because we’re or have also been guilty of such wrong?
Speaking against the wrong and not the person(s) involved will destroy the hold of that wrong on those who hear it.
“Ye shall know the truth, and the truth will make you free” – Jesus Christ
The purpose of confronting our faults is so that we can help others confront theirs, by sharing our transformation journey and struggles with them.
People tend to listen more to what, say for instance, cancer survivors have to say, than they would oncologists or cancer specialist doctors.
Because the survivors have been there, done that and are still doing it or done with it. Survivors have the personal experience of how it feels like to have cancer, because the struggle can’t be anymore real than having to experience it and live with it.
Survivors may not have the knowledge, the technical know-how of the treatment, but they have understanding, of how it feels to go through the treatments. They know the feeling in their body.
So naturally, their perspective and approach will be different but organic. It’s not all pains that can be explained in theory. But a survivor can project it to the understanding of anyone who cares to listen. Others who are experiencing such can also relate and feel less lonely and alone, in their journey towards healing, which probably began when someone was courageous enough to be vulnerable, bare it all, by sharing their story.
There is healing and the beginning of closure, in open sincerity, both personally and collectively.
Be it a flaw, fault, or problems, the motive for speaking makes a huge difference.
There’s a difference between speaking about something and speaking against it. Sometimes we may have to do both.
There’s a difference between speaking against something, and speaking against someone. Speaking against something, stems from true concern for other people’s wellbeing. Speaking against someone stems from hypocrisy — most times.
At the times when we may find ourselves speaking against someone, it’s usually because we believe the person is capable of doing better, yet they deliberately did worse for their personal benefit. Naturally we feel betrayed and wronged when people who are the closest to us, decide to sacrifice our trust and believe in their strength of character, for selfish gains. Therefore out of our hurt and pain, we are more likely to speak against the person than their behaviour, because they chose to associate with bad behaviour knowing it will hurt those they claimed to love.
But generally speaking, we should choose to speak about something, why we are against the said thing and speak to the people, who are for what we are against, from the place of love and understanding.