Christian Musings

I’m Back?

Hello Amazing people! How have you been holding up and holding the fort of this vast blogging community?

 I have missed been here. And it’s not because I have nothing to say, but because I felt overwhelmed by other things going on in my life, so much so that it demanded my full attention. I ended up feeling too exhausted to come here, much less write anything.

Generally speaking? I can say it’s a woman’s thing. Pardon me, fellow women who can’t relate. I’m happy for you. Truly.

 If something is off in any area of our lives, we try to shoulder everything at the same time — pointlessly so — because we start running on fumes then we burn out and something slips out of our hands. And we hope against hope, that it’s not something breakable that will shatter to smitterings at our tired feet, while we look on with a dazed tired look.

We dare not try to pack up the mess we unwittingly created, otherwise something else might fall from us and crash — again.

At that point, we are too tired to scream, so all we want to do is kick off our shoes, find a place to curl up and have a good cry.

The result of outward things slipping and falling, are reflections of things falling apart on the inside of us. So instead of us to do the sensible deed, of properly handling the issues before they get out of hand, we decide to play ostrich — avoiding a situation by getting overtly involved in other things, until we can no longer get involved in anything.

When I say anything, I mean anything! We don’t want to get out bed. We binge on food, movies or anything else. Personal grooming? What’s dat? It’s gone out of the window. We end up looking and behaving as messy as we feel. Aren’t those signs of depression? Oh well. Crap happens.

I didn’t get that off my rocker — this time. But still, I felt angry and weary. 

I did binge on food and a Zee World TV series. Pretty healthy food though, I think?

The series was Jodha Akbar. Pretty gripping after about the 10th episode. I will tell you more about that later.

Now back to things slipping and shattering to smithereens at tired feet.

It could be a marriage hitting the rocks — God forbid! It could be a relationship gone south. A business or career nose diving or plummeting. A child in trouble or troubled, or both. Family brouhaha. These are fragile precious things that must not slip, but unfortunately sometimes they do.

In mine case, I slipped from the gathering of the brethren, blogging, personal spiritual exercises. For months. I think it’s because they reminded me — painfully so — what I don’t have, yet, that I believe I should have had eons ago. 

I felt, ‘Who was I fooling? My enemies lives suck (not mine, thank you!)’ 

Its a feeling I fall into from time to time, until God picks me up and keeps me moving.

I don’t feel 100% optimistic yet, but by God’s grace I’m getting more stable by the day.

I just pray that everything falls into the rightful place in my life, soon. 

More specifically, I pray that ‘the lines fall unto me in pleasant places‘, according to Psalms 16, so that I will be ‘comforted on every side’ according to Psalm 71. 

It is well🌴Shalom🌿

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