Christian Musings, Singles' issues, Uncategorized

Why Singles are Still “Single”. Part 3

Hi Everyone! How’s the mid-week treating you? Mid-week sometimes puts us in a sober reflection, especially if you have yet to accomplish what you wanted done for the week. Procrastination begins to lose steam at this point. It’s like been in August and you remember all you told yourself you were going to do for the year — which you haven’t done.

But don’t be discouraged, just start already! The week isn’t over until it’s over. You’re not alone. Some of us just have to battle through some issues before we get anything done. But the point is when we work at something good, we get it done, so let’s not give up now. We can do all things, through Christ who strengthens us or through Christ who is our strength; depending on what Bible version you are reading.

Okay! That been said, let get into the topic.

Based on my observation, I realized that ours is a very busy and ‘happening’ generation. There’s a lot to do, so much you can accomplish and achieve. We aren’t necessarily the generation of ‘contentment’. We ask ourselves, or rather say to ourselves, “I mean, why should I be content, when it’s within my reach to have more, achieve more?” So we get sucked into the spirit of ambition, and walk/work almost trance-like towards our goal. We fail to see other good, important aspects of life and living along the way; you know, aspects like marriage and family. Unless of course, if we think these will take us faster with ease, to where we are — more often than not — obsessed to get to. Which means a lot of people who are in a relationship or married, are there for the wrong reasons or on wrong, misguided impressions, as the case may be. This of course is no news. A lot of people have, from time memorial been getting married for the wrong reasons. The difference now, is that the wrong reasons differ from generation to generation, depending on the central theme/focus of each generation. And ours is, unfortunately not an exception. You will think by now, we would know it’s better, to learn from history. 

But perhaps that’s the problem. We believe we not only know better than previous generations, but we think we are better. So we find ourselves, repeating their mistakes or getting the same negative outcomes they had.

Marriage is no longer considered an achievement or success. If you are single and successful you are the man or a superwoman, according to the standard of today’s world, anyway. So more often than not, marriage is placed on the back burner. By the time some people deem themselves ready — if ever– to get married, they might not readily find someone on their level and they might grow desperate. Because most singles think of marriage when they are lonely and they need companionship. Once desperation sets in however, that’s the beginning of the end.

Most times, desperation sets in because, some of us have had opportunities to love and truly be loved, but we took those opportunities for granted, thinking true love and companionship can wait, there is a career to pursue. So with the I’m not ready excuse, we leave love behind. After success, the accolades, fame, and you begin to feel lonely; all those opportunities you had walked past,  start coming to mind. Especially if you are unfortunate to run into some of those opportunities you walked away from, having dinner, for intance, with their charming spouse and lovely children. It then dawns on you, that you have indeed goofed. And that might make you feel worse than you’re already feeling. At that point anyone who shows any romantic interest in you, is considered God sent, which is most likely not. Then, you might find yourself being a victim of parasitic people, who pretend interest in you just to get their hands on what you have.

It will then seem that what you spent all your life pursuing and eventually acquiring, is now bait or magnet for shallow people whose main occupation is to pretend they are/have, what you are now desperate to have: love and companionship. It would also seem like your success might be an obstacle to finding an honestly genuine person to spend your life with — which isn’t true, but in your desperation, you wouldn’t see that.

Bottom line, as far as I’m concerned, ambition — which requires a level of narrow mindedness — is a disease. Of course my mum disagrees with me. In her opinion, ambition is not a problem but over ambition. Hmph. I hear her. Have you noticed that it’s only the things with addictive qualities, that moves faster than light from mild to excessive? Well, I have noticed. And ambition is addictive. It’s an enemy of contentment, and people have been known to loose morals, decency or any virtue they had before embarking on the journey of ambition, during the journey.

It’s good to be successful and famous and celebrated. But we have to understand that they can’t keep us happy. Therefore, lets not loose focus of the important things of life. They are: God Who also happens to be True Love, righteousnes, true friendship and true companionship. They should never be taken for granted. God said to seek Him when He may be found. Which means there’s a time for everything. A time that something can be found, and that may not be in accordance with your personal timeline.

So I urge us, to key into the timeline of the opportunities that have lasting fulfilling value, when they are presented to you. And not when you want to have them, or think you should have them. Or when the world and other people think and decide, you should have them. Because by then, those opportunities might no longer be available. Second or multiple chances do not come to all, all the time. It called chance for a reason. Opportunities are sometimes like ideas. If you don’t work on an idea and patent it, someone else will! Opportunities, like ideas, cannot be monopolized, they must be utilized, immediately. Snoozing is loosing.

Till next time, stay blessed and focused on the right opportunities of lasting fulfilling value. Shalom.😇

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